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“Hey,” he mutters.
Glancing his way, I ask, “You okay?”
It takes a moment before he shrugs. “Yeah.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
He turns toward me with a quizzical brow. “Youwant to talk about it?”
I can’t help but laugh. “That’s just the effect you’ve had on me. I want to talk about things now.”
“I’ve ruined you,” he replies. “I liked you better when you just scowled and grunted at everyone.”
I laugh some more. “I’ll still growl and grunt at you if you’d like.”
“Okay, good.”
When our clipped laughter comes to an end, he lets out a loud sigh. Then, without warning, he rests his head on my shoulder. It’s intimate and wonderful. The way he’s so unafraid to be vulnerable and the trust that must take guts me.
I will always protect him so he can continue being so vulnerable.
Turning my head toward him, I press my lips to the top of his head. Then I wrap my arm behind his back.
“You know…” I say softly. “I don’t know if this is any consolation, but you were lucky to have such a good dad. I hate that you lost yours while mine is still living, but I also wish I had a dad like yours.”
His body shivers as he cries. “That does make me feel better.”
I squeeze him tighter. “Sometimes I worry that I’ll never be a good dad because I didn’t have one as a role model. So I’m glad Abby has you.”
He cries some more. “You’re crazy,” he replies. “You are a great dad.”
“Thank you,” I whisper with my lips against his head.
After a moment, he seems to have dried his tears, but his head is still resting on my shoulder. It’s then that I realize that with everything that’s happened this week since my father’s arrest and Dean’s father’s death, I never got to tell him about the conversation I had with Isaac.
And while I told Isaac I wouldn’t tell everyone about his whereabouts, Dean is as close to me as Briar now. It would be wrong to lie to him.
“I didn’t tell you…” I start. Dean lifts his head and stares at me as he waits. “I saw Isaac.”
His face tenses in confusion. “What? When?”
“Last night. He…was in town for the night, and we had a beer.”
Dean smiles. “Holy shit. What did he say?”
“It was so weird. He was like a stranger to me. But he gave me some really good advice. And I realized that I should have never tried to hide him or push you away to protect him. I should have stood with him. I always wanted Isaac to pretend he was straight so my father wouldn’t be angry with him. And maybe that’s why I always pretended to be straight.”
“And how do you feel now?”
Looking out over the water, I let out a sigh. “I feel ready to finally come out. I think I knew my entire life that I was attracted to men and women, but I tried to brush that part of myself off. I figured that if I was married, I didn’t need to worry about it.”
He nods, resting his hand on my leg. “I think a lot of people make that mistake. You’re not alone.”
“And maybe if I come out first, Isaac will be ready to come home. I’m ready to do what I should have done nine years ago.”
Dean reaches over and grabs my face, kissing me hard on the cheek. “For what it’s worth, I’m proud that you’ve finally made it here. I love you so much.”
Turning toward him, I smile as my lips press against his. “I love you too.”
