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I grumble again. Stubborn. Interest pokes through my sleepiness, however. I open an eye to a fuzzy, distorted blob. Eventually, after a bit of blinking, the blob distills into the clear and gorgeous image of Olivia.
“Mm. You said… Four hours? Did Violet already wake up?”
“She’s been awake for a while, but I wanted to give you some time to sleep.” Olivia laughs. “Taking care of a kid makes you more exhausted than you think it would, eh?”
“You’re all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”
“Yeah, but I’ve also been doing this for years,” she reasons. “It’ll come easier with time, and this was just the first day.” Her face breaks into a bright smile. “Violet really took to you today, though. That’s a good sign.”
Again, there’s that tightness in my chest. I don’t have a word for it; I just know that I want to keep feeling it.
Sitting up, I stretch. My back pops and I sigh with relief. “You said it was bath time?”
Olivia nods, tugging me from the bed by my hand. I try not to think about how perfectly it fits into my palm. Like how she fits perfectly into my side. On my dick. In my life.
Reel some of that in, champ. You’re gettin’ a little carried away.
The first trip is into Violet’s room. Olivia grabs all manner of equipment for this seemingly simple task.
“What’s that?” I nod to a weird-looking not-quite-a-car-seat made from molded plastic.
“It’s what you’re actually going to wash her in,” Olivia explains, leading the way to the bathroom. “Make it easier and safer since she can’t quite control herself when she’s sitting and, you know, water is dangerous for a baby.”
In the bathroom, she puts the not-a-car-seat into the tub and sets the faucet to gushing. In my arms, Violet wiggles, giggling.
“Never seen a kid so excited for a bath,” I laugh.
“Yeah, she’s super into bath time. She loves bubbles.” She looks over her shoulder. “Here, feel the water. That’s the temperature that it should be. You want it warm enough not to make her cold, but not hot enough to scald her. She’s got sensitive skin because she’s a baby.”
I lean over, holding Violet tight in one arm as I reach to feel the water with the other. “Okay. Cool. Now what?”
“We’ll fill the tub up a bit, and get water into here.” She indicates the seat. “And then we’ll plop Violet in there. I already got the baby wash and the no-tears shampoo and conditioner for her. Then it’s self-explanatory. I’m assuming you know how baths work.”
I refrain from bringing up last night’s bath that she and I shared. Doesn’t seem like the right time.
Everything goes smoothly for a while. I get Violet into the tub, suds aplenty. Olivia was right: Violet loves the bath. She’s splashing, laughing, giggling up a storm that has me laughing and playing with her.
It’s all fun and games. But then when I go to lift her to suds her back, it all goes to shit.
Violet is slippery and wiggly. That’s a bad combination when you’ve got a baby in your hands. I think I have a good hold on her, my grip on her arms sure…
Until she wiggles right out of them.
Several things happen at once.
Time slows to a crawl. It’s a slow-motion tumble from my arms but I can’t seem to act quick enough to catch her. I’m stuck in place. Stupid. Careless. Useless. My daughter is pinwheeling through the air, wailing, and all I can do is stand dumbstruck in place and watch.
It’s Olivia’s arms that shoot out, grabbing her just in time before she cracks into a million broken shards on the edge of the tub. But it’s not enough to stop the scream of terror that comes from Violet.
I fucked up. My ears buzz. I shouldn’t have even tried. This day was a mistake.
“Shh… It’s okay,” Olivia coos to Violet. “You’ll be alright. Reese?—”
I rip away from the bathtub and put as much distance as I can between myself and Violet.
Olivia stares at me, face full of confusion. “Reese, I need you to?—”
“You don’t need me to do shit!” My voice raises with each word. So does the pitch of Violet’s crying. “Why’d you even let me do this? Violet got hurt?—”
