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I pick up one of her notepads, since she’s got several all over the house.
She has been using them to talk until her throat heals.
I flick through it and see the notes she wrote when she was with Caleb.
When she says she finds me smothering, it damn near breaks my heart. Then I see she was feeling lonely.
I sit down on the couch and toss the notepad to the side and drop my head in my hands.
This is how my woman has been feeling, and she hasn’t said anything?
She was feeling lonely? I knew I was working a lot and having trouble finding time for everything.
Why didn’t she ever tell me this? What kind of man am I if my woman can’t even talk to me?
The second thing runs through my mind. She thinks I’m smothering her?
I almost lost her; I have a hard time letting her go to the other room for a few minutes. I know I have been by her side, but I guess she doesn’t want me to be.
Maybe I need to take a step back.
I’d hate for her to start to not wanting to be around me.
I head to bed and pull her into my arms, but I don’t sleep at all.
When morning comes, she rolls over and smiles at me. I fake a smile at her so she doesn’t think anything is wrong, but all I can think about is how I keep fucking up this relationship.
“What’s on the agenda today?” she texts me.
I look over at her. “I actually have to head back into work. There’s a lot I can’t do from home,” I lie.
She looks over at me in surprise, but she doesn’t protest. Fuck. She really doesn’t want to be around me.
How the fuck can I fix this?
I kiss her softly, trying hard to hold the desperation back of the feeling like I am losing her.
When I pull way, she smiles sat me softly before I get up to get ready for work.
I’m numb as I get ready.
Aubrey is making herself a smoothie and humming softly.
Normally, this would make me smile and look over at her with adoration. Right now, it fucking guts me. She’s in a good mood because I’m going to work and leaving her alone for a few hours.
“I’m off,” I say.
She walks over and kisses me softly.
Every step I take towards the elevator makes me feel like it’s a step towards losing her. She’s falling out of my grasp, and I have no idea what to do from here.
How can I finally have the person I always wanted and yet have no fucking clue how to keep her?
When I get to the office, Greg and Dylan look at me with surprise.
“Boss, what you doing here? I thought you were going to be off for a couple more weeks,” Greg says before standing up and grabbing my coat.
“Just needed a change of scenery,” I mutter.
