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“You didn’t have to do that.”
His eyes flared up, and now I could definitely tell he was angry, but what’s different about this was, it was directed to me. His expressions softened, but the fire in his eyes was still visible.
“I didn’t have to do that,” he repeated, scoffing. He moved a few paces around the desk and took a seat on the couch. “But yet I did. Because when you weren’t here with me, I wanted to burn this city to the ground, and even then, it wouldn’t be enough. Nothing is enough to remove the thought of you from my brain. Nothing is enough to remove you, and I wish you would think about that. I wish you would see that I’m not playing with you. I wish you could see how you’ve become a necessity in my life. How much I’ve changed my life to make sure you’re in it, I wish you could see it,” he said, raising his voice, “but I’m not letting you go, so I guess I have eternity to make your vision clearer.”
Every word, every thought, every flame stopped. There was just silence. And a perfect level of calmness in my soul. It felt like never before. I was calm, and I realized something. I wouldn’t admit it, but I realized it. I burn for him, but not something dangerous, something filled with passion.
“I don’t know what to say.” I was speech.
“Come here,” he whispered, and I ran straight into his arms. Nothing quite felt like this. Nothing felt like home this much. He was home, and he didn’t even know it yet. “Never do that again. Come to me whenever you need reassurance.”
“You were in an in—”
“I’ll stop the world from spinning if you want me to. I would do anything for you,” he whispered and rubbed his hands in my hair.
“Okay,” I said in a low but audible tone, “thank you for what you did. I appreciate it.”
He didn’t respond, but I was sure he knew what I was talking about. It was dangerous what he did, and traces could always be redone, but he was Dillon Xander; what couldn’t he do?
“Are you two good?” Ronan asked, pouring me a glass of scotch.
I took the glass from him and placed it on the coffee table. “We will be,” I said with a smile. “So do you have a girlfriend.”
“Kind of, I’m trying to win her back.”
“How badly did you fuck up?”
“Really bad, but I’m trying to fix it.”
“What did you do?” He told me and I was shocked. These men really are crazy.
Dillon walked out, interrupting our talk. He was barely dressed, and where that sucked for Ronan’s eyes, my eyes were blessed. His hair was wet, with little droplets falling out, and he had some grey sweats that clung to his waist, high enough to cover his crotch but low enough to see his V-line, and as guessed, he was shirtless.
He grabbed my thigh, and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to get me to strip right here or get me on my knees, or both.
“What are you two doing?” Dillon asked.
“Introductions,” Ronan answered, “but, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. See you.”
Dillon just laughed and started rubbing his hands on my lower stomach. I got butterflies, which clouded my brain and barrels of fear, which filled my whole body. He was rubbing a spot that brought back severe memories. Shaking it off, I brought my head back to earth and regained focus.
“I haven’t seen you for three days, no fault of yours, but still. Let’s talk about you.” I felt like one of the reasons I was always running was because I feared that I didn’t know him at all, which wasn’t true, but I just wanted to know more. I’d love to know everything, but it all took time.
“What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you’re willing to tell me. I just want to listen to you talk.” I leaned over more, so my neck was resting on him, as we talked slowly.
“Yesterday, I went to my grandparents’ graveside. It was the anniversary of their death, and I miss them more than I let on. It brought me to tears when I read notes that grandma left, but Mara and I spent the day in a cemetery. It’s our tradition. My family, as expected, didn’t come. They’re very dysfunctional and they aren’t the good parents you think they are. At least not to Mara or me,” he said. His words spoke slowly but passionately. He just needed comfort.
I thought he was so closed off because no one had ever wanted to know him beneath it all before, so he thought it was just a ploy to plot against him. “Do you know why I have my charity and that gala?”
“Tell me.”
“Mara was sexually abused for years by my father’s live-in friend. He and mom knew it was happening and they did nothing to stop it. It happened for three years straight before I had the courage to tell my grandparents. They believed me and took it into their hands and got Mara all the help she needed. Ms. Lauren, also saved Mara from it for some months before my mom had told her to never enter Mara’s room after dark because she was getting complaints.” It burned him, heck, it burned me to hear this. How heartless could a mother of all people be? My hope in fathers crashed a long time ago but I never expected mothers to be like that.
“Who’s Ms. Lauren, and how’d she stop it?”
He told me about how she took care of them and was like a mother to them but after the death of their grandparents, she was banished and never came back. I loved when he was vulnerable and open with me, but this was breaking my heart. They had no business going through all of this.
