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“Because that power is ours,” Eliza says proudly. “We get to decide now. We get to do it because we want to. It’s fun when the number one thing on your mind is pleasing the person you’re with.”
Austen’s cheeks fill with color. “I want to please Dimitri, but he never asks, probably because he knows what we went through.”
Clara reaches over, cupping Austen’s face to guide her to look at her. “Do it because you want to. Not because he asks or you feel he expects it.”
Eliza nods. “He’s a good dude and he won’t ever ask, but believe me, he wants it.”
“Oh, totally,” Elliot snorts. “What guy doesn’t?”
We all snicker at that, and then thankfully the conversation moves to their plans for the weekend. “The books came in today, so I may get done tomorrow morning and head up,” I say, when really, I wish I hadn’t. I wonder if Ciaran will want to hang out. If he’ll want to see me. I know I want to see him.
“You won’t be busy with Ciaran?” Clara sings his name, and I roll my eyes.
“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him,” I tell her with a dry look.
I notice a look on Elliot’s face, and then she asks, “Wait, Ciaran. How is that spelled?”
I spell it for her, and then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. I’ve been saying his name all kinds of wrong. Lou, he plays for the Knoxville Bears. Ciaran Carter… He is being introduced as the captain tomorrow!”
My jaw drops as Clara and Eliza start giggling. Austen, my sweet sister, only beams. “Hey, I told you guys from the top, hockey players are a dream. The stamina, the hands… Yum.”
I choke on spit and then start laughing as I shake my head. His career never came up, but it makes sense why he’d need to be tested regularly. They can’t have STIs slowing the guys down on the ice. “I had no clue.”
“Well, when you spend your time with his dick in your mouth instead of asking him questions, I can see how that wouldn’t come up,” Eliza teases, and even I can’t help but snort at that. She’s such a dork.
“And who’s really trying to know what he does when you’re being eaten out on the table?” Austen asks, and I nod eagerly.
“Yeah, I wasn’t thinking at that point.” I can’t stop grinning, but then I wonder if my peepaw will have an issue. After Austen, surely he learned his lesson. “I should probably tell Peepaw.”
Austen grimaces, and I know it’s because she’s still not talking to our grandfather. He tried to keep Dimitri from going into the NHL, all because he was involved with Austen. Peepaw wanted to separate them so that Austen couldn’t get hurt. It’s the reason Austen is in Nashville—not only for Dimitri, but because she wanted to work there instead of for our peepaw. After that, he realized that he didn’t want us involved in his business, but somehow Elliot snuck in to do social media for the team. I’m not sure how he’ll feel that I’m seeing Ciaran.
If that’s what I’m doing.
“Or maybe not since this is eight hours old and I don’t even know if he’ll call.”
Elliot nods. “Just wait a bit. See what happens.”
“Don’t want to rush it,” Clara offers.
“And I know the sex was good, Lou. But maybe figure out if you like him outside of the bedroom or table or chair or wherever else you guys decided to defile,” Eliza jokes.
“I do like him,” I say, though I don’t know if I’m being honest. We talked and we laughed, but we were mostly naked. What if it’s different when we’re clothed?
“Just be careful,” Austen tells me. “I can tell you’re smitten.”
I shrug, feeling silly as they all watch me. I know they aren’t judging me or even thinking ill of me, but I can’t help feeling a bit of embarrassment. I don’t know Ciaran. I only know that I love what he does to my body, and I enjoy doing those things to him. I know that there is something inside me that wants him. An invisible string that neither of us can see, but I can feel, drawing me to him.
Does he feel it? I don’t know, but damn if I don’t hope so.
CHAPTER 18
Ciaran
I didn’t call Louisa last night, and she didn’t call or text me.
I hate how thankful I am for that. I didn’t sleep; all I did was toss and turn with her on my mind. I picked up my phone more times than I care to admit, because I wanted to hear her voice. Listen to her laugh and that damn breathy sigh she makes. I wanted to hear my name on her lips. I wanted… I want her.
I swallow hard, the nervousness eating away at me as I look out at the press gathered in the room. Today is supposed to be a good day, but I feel guilty for not reaching out last night. I feel like I’m being just like those fuckers who hurt Louisa before, the poor excuses for men she has been subjected to. But I know I’m not that guy. I’m just struggling, and I swear I know if I go to her with my concerns, they’ll disappear once her multicolored eyes meet mine. Which is the reason for my distance. I need to think. I need to decide what I am doing, because she’s not just some girl I can fuck and ignore. She’s the kind that can get under my skin, wiggle her way into my heart, and belong there for the rest of my existence and beyond.
