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I let out a huge breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and sprint across the hall to catch up with them all.
I get to the door just in time to see Abaddon and his daughter launch into the air. Raven lets out a squeal of delight like she’s finally been set free to really fly. Kharon and Ksenia are already in the lake, his arms protectively around her as she lays back against him with her face to the sun.
Hannah has her arm linked through Lo-Ren’s as they walk to the edge of the lake, so comfortable as if they’re already sisters-in-law.
The sight squeezes my chest tight in something like terror. And not for fear of my family becoming too attached, like I ought to be thinking, either. I’m terrified because of how much I want it. Of how much I want her.
For myself.
Because if there’s one thing in this life I’ve learned, it’s that I can never, ever want anything. Remus will always make sure of that. I could never want my father’s affection or to succeed at anything I put my focus into. And I could certainly never want to gain the love of a good woman.
Remus chose her for exactly this reason, and damn him to hell, he always chooses his torments exquisitely well. She is perfect. And she can never, ever be mine.
Chapter Eighteen
LAUREN
I hold tight to Hannah’s arm as we get near the edge of the lake and pretend I can’t feel Romulus’s eyes on my back. He about took my breath away when I caught him checking me out earlier in the castle. The heat that man was looking at me with was indecent. My cheeks are still flushed. Something I have a feeling Hannah doesn’t miss as she looks over at me.
“Ready?” she asks as we navigate the smooth rocks at the lake’s edge.
I’m about to say yes when the water laps toward us and hits my ankles. “Holy shit, that’s cold!” I yelp.
Hannah laughs. “Yep, you can never quite be ready for it the first time. It’s like swimming in Lake Michigan. Even in the summer, it’s freezing. But it gets better once you’re all the way in.”
“If you say so.”
I can’t help glancing over my shoulder. And yep, Romulus is right there, watching us with a now-stern expression on his face. Somehow, that gives me the courage to wade forward. This at least gives me a reason to not mind the cold as much because heat is bursting in my cheeks and more embarrassingly, my belly.
When the water gets to my thighs, I decide to take the plunge and dive forward. The shock of cold takes my breath away, and I pop back up to the surface, gasping for breath. “Oh my god!”
“It gets better the more you swim,” Hannah says laughingly.
“I fucking hope so!” There’s nothing else to do at this point except trust her because now even the air feels cold. So I start to swim vigorously away from shore.
Hannah’s a little bit right. The more I move, the less absolutely frozen I feel. After maybe another ten minutes, I begin to feel all my body parts again, and Hannah and I are having fun as we race each other around.
The lake is an absolutely gorgeous, deep, dark blue. It extends so far, and it feels wild to have so much natural beauty all to ourselves.
Eventually, Hannah and I turn around and head back the way we came. I try not to look at Romulus standing right at the shore, arms crossed like a forbidding figure against the backdrop of the castle, but it’s hard not to.
Overhead, Abaddon and Raven fly in circles, and I’m glad when we get closer that Hannah diverges away from the shore to swim on her back toward Kharon and Ksenia.
“How are you feeling, honey?” Hannah asks Ksenia.
For the first time since meeting the very pregnant woman, she has a peaceful smile on her face, and her large belly is bobbing just out of the water.
“Amaaaaaazing,” Ksenia says, extending the word. Her partner lounges in the water behind her, one set of arms looped lazily under her breasts. She leans her head back against his chest. “I’m never leaving.”
Kharon chuckles and kisses the top of her head.
My chest clenches from seeing how sweet they are together and how devoted he obviously is to her.
In the distance, Raven dives straight toward the lake. I gasp a little when she shoots into the water but Hannah just laughs and shakes her head. Especially when Abaddon follows right after his daughter.
They both pop up a moment later, right back up into the air, hovering for a moment as their wings shake off the water like a wet dog might.
Then Raven takes off straight toward her Uncle Romulus at the shoreline, skimming a hand along the surface as she goes.
