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His stance finally changes, and he holds up a hand to stop, which doesn’t stop Raven in the least from splashing him as soon as she gets close, her tiny, bell-like giggles ringing out as she flies in circles around him, droplets flinging as she goes.
Romulus doesn’t laugh, but he spins around, snatching in the air for her, which makes her giggle more. She keeps diving for him, and he jumps, reaching for her again and again. It’s clearly a regular game they play.
“She loves her uncle,” Hannah comments from where she’s treading water beside me.
“Oh,” I say, glancing away. “She’s so cute.”
I backstroke a little away from Ksenia and her man, and Hannah follows me. I look over at her, squinting in the bright summer sun. “Do you think it’s possible what I’m attempting?”
Hannah’s eyebrow lifts, and she glances back toward Romulus, quiet for a moment before responding. “Hmm. To tell the truth, I think the twins are more entwined than either of them wants to admit. And I think hating each other was probably the easiest way to deal with the life their father thrust them into.”
I lay on my back, floating, as I contemplate her words. “How so?” It’s amazing to be able to get insights from their family on the situation. It helps me feel more grounded when I’ve felt so swept away by emotions I barely understand.
“Remus is a rebel by nature, making situations worse, and Romulus always took it upon himself to ‘fix him,’” she lifts her hands out of the water to make air quotes, “I think Romulus craves stability, something he’ll never have with Remus.”
“Not necessarily,” I say in frustration. “If they could just work together instead of against each other.”
Hannah nods, though she doesn’t look particularly convinced. But then she looks at me, really looks at me. “If anyone could give them a reason to work together, it’s you.”
I frown at that, not sure how it makes me feel.
“If they could just talk.”
Hannah snorts. “Wouldn’t that be something? But they’re never awake at the same time. Something I think is frankly for the best. Sharing a body has got to be hard enough.”
“Hmm,” I say again. “Maybe.”
“Come on,” Hannah says. “Wanna swim to the rock?” She points to a rock really far out in the center of the lake. “Everyone else is always flying around, and Ksenia’s been hugely pregnant all summer since the lake melted enough to swim in.”
“Sure.” I smile, glad to get my mind off Remus and his troublesome twin again as we take off through the water.
* * *
I’m even more glad for the long afternoon swimming by nighttime because it feels like I’ll sleep like a rock. I don’t want to toss and turn thinking about my absurd boy problems.
Except as I change into the silk nightgown Remus ordered for me before he disappeared into his brother, I find my mind spinning with thoughts of him.
What am I really even doing here? I’ve started wondering if what I thought I shared with him was even real. I felt so invested in it, in him, that I’ve fought to stay. But after not being able to talk to him all day, each hour feeling like a week, it’s easy to question, well, all of it.
And as lovely as his family is. . .
Maybe I don’t belong here. This has been a fairytale dream. Maybe I’ve fought to stay because I don’t want to go back to my real life. That’s not very lovely if it’s true. I don’t want to be the person who runs from her problems.
I always want to be the person who runs toward life, not away from it. I thought that was what I was doing here.
A knock on my door startles me from my thoughts. I wonder if it’s Hannah stopping by to say goodnight. The sumptuous rug is soft underfoot as I head to the door, the brass doorknob cool in my hand as I turn it and pull the door open.
“Oh,” I gasp a little in surprise when I see Romulus’s hulking form in the dimly lit hallway instead. “It’s you.”
“Who were you expecting?” Then he waves a hand, his eyes seeming to darken. “Never mind. I just wanted to check that you have everything you need before I go to my rooms.”
I can’t help leaning against the doorjam and arching an eyebrow at him. “I thought I was in your rooms.”
He swallows, his eyes traveling down to my neck before he jerks them upwards as if forcing himself not to check me out in my slinky silk nightgown.
I feel confused by my disappointment that he didn’t look. I’m here for Remus… Aren’t I?
“I don’t sleep. I spend the nights reading in the den.” He gestures with his head further down the hall.
