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“I think it’s a good idea. I mean, I’m tagged, you will know where I am at all times. If you think about it, I’m the only one who can do it. I can get in, get the intel and you guys can get us all out.” I shrug my shoulders, unsure why he’s fighting this. It makes perfect sense.
“No, if we have to send anyone in, it was decided that Lexi or Katya will go.”
“What? No, I can’t let them go alone. I’m the one who has a tracker. I know all the risks, Rhodie. I’ve done this type of work before. It’ll be fine,”
“No Chewy, you don’t get it. You’ll be in there unprotected. With Kraykowski out, we don’t know who’s calling the shots. You won’t have any weapons on you, you won’t have any backup, we won’t have eyes on you.”
“I know all this Rhodie. Why are you telling me?”
“He has Correctile Dysfunction. Plagues many a man. Because you know, you’re a girl, and even though you know things, you don’t REALLY know things.” Ana pipes up in her Kiwi accent. I let out a snort and then notice that Rhodie is frowning at her, arms crossed over his chest and he doesn’t look like he’s backing down anytime soon.
“No. Your brothers and I have discussed this, and we don’t think you should go. You know what you’re like, you don’t really have the skills to take this on Chewy. Trust us,”
“Wait, what do you mean, you and my brothers decided?” I look at my big brothers. Gus holds my eye contact and I can see his jaw clenching. Tav and Jules look uncomfortable, avoiding my eye contact. I turn my eyes back to Rhodie and, in a measured voice, I ask him.
“What am I like Rhodie? What skills don’t I have that Lexi and Ana have? What am I missing?”
He rubs his hand down his face and looks at me, letting out a long sigh
“You have limitations, Chewy. You can’t read people the same way they can. Baby, you have sensory issues. What happens if you have a shutdown while you’re in there? That could become dangerous for you because you have to be alert to everything happening. You won’t be safe Chewy, you’re just, you’re just… different,” He looks up at me, jaw clenching. I look around the room. Everyone else is avoiding my gaze, and it feels weird. Wrong. Usually, it’s me avoiding gazes, not the other way around. My chest feels weird and uncomfortable. My throat feels tight and I blink because my eyes are watery all of a sudden.
“I know I’m different. I just didn’t think you all thought so, too.” I have to get out of here. Everything feels too much. My clothes are bugging me now and the lights are too bright. I can hear people talking to me and I feel someone’s hands on me, but they’re too heavy and too hard, so I shrug them off and dart into the hallway, gulping deep breaths until I get to Wire’s room. He spins to look at me.
“Chewy?” I ignore him and head straight for his closet. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, I pull the door closed behind me. I let the darkness wrap around me, feeling the cool, calm invade my arms and legs, working its way through my body. I rest my head against the wall and I swipe angrily at my cheeks to get rid of the wetness. All that’s doing is illustrating what they all think. I get it, I know. Rhodie wasn’t wrong in his observations. I know they want what’s best for me, but they’re treating me like I don’t know my own mind. Like I don’t know what I can and can’t do and that hurt. I’ve spent a lot of my life with people looking at me like I was incapable, but here, they see me differently. At least, I thought they did. Now I’m not so sure. I hear a soft tapping at the door. I don’t know how long I’ve wallowed in here, but I’m feeling more myself now. I don’t answer, but it’s ok because I hear Lexi’s voice whispering to me.
“I think you’re capable Tuesday. In fact, I think you’re a badass. Fuck them. I’m with you on this. If you want to do this, then we do it together. I’m ready to leave when you are. With, or without, their help.” I hear some rustling, and I know she’s moved away from the door. I can sit in here and wallow about how everyone has underestimated me, or I can go get those women home to their families. Fuck it. I’ve got this.
Chapter 20
Rhodie
“Are you just going to sit here and wallow?” I turn to look at Pops, whose menacing face isn’t bothering me as per usual. Looking around, I see Chewy’s brothers looking how I feel, like utter shit. I rub my chest, not liking the feeling and down the rest of my whiskey, enjoying the burn it’s giving me. After Chewy took off, her brothers told me to leave her for a bit, let her settle down. She headed straight for Wire’s closet, so I knew she’d be safe there. That’s all I want, her safe and sound with me.
“Look son, I know you were trying to do the right thing, but our Tuesday, she’s not like other women. She knows what she can and can’t do. Do you think she got this far in life pandering to all the fears me and her brothers had? No way, not my grandbaby. She’s a fighter, whether you like it or not. If you can’t trust that she’s got this, you need to move the fuck outta the way and let a real man step up and take a chance.” He slaps his hand on my shoulder a little harder than he needs to before shaking me and wandering off. Before I can order another drink, Marx slips onto the stool beside me.
“You know, we would never put Chewy or any of the girls in danger willingly.” I nod in agreement.
“It just, fuck, I don’t know what I’d do without her. She came sneaking into the compound and since that night, I’ve not been the same.” My brother looks at me for a moment.
“You love her?”
“Yeah.”
“Making her your ol lady?” I nod at my brother.
“If she’ll have me after what I said to her.” He slaps his hand on my shoulder.
“Proud of you, baby brother. We’ll keep her safe. Finish up here and go get your woman. It’s been long enough.”
I wave goodnight to everyone and make my way to Wire’s room. I tap gently on the closet door and slowly open it, expecting to find my Chewy, but instead, it’s empty, only the faint smell of her fresh scent lingering. Shutting the door behind me, I head up to our room, hoping she’s in there getting some rest. The bed is still made and no sign of her. I check her brother’s rooms, and outside, not finding my ol lady. I feel sick, my stomach dropping further and further until I burst back into the common room, chest heaving.
“Chewy! Has anyone seen her? I can’t find her!” Everyone’s heads spin towards me, men jumping up, chairs clanging to the floor. Tav pulls out his phone and taps a few times.
“Fuck! She’s off compound!”
“Fuck!” I yell into the room, gripping my hair in my hands. I feel my dad’s arms wrap around me. “Settle down boy, we have eyes on her whereabouts, she’s got this” I take a couple of deep breaths and stand tall, looking toward my brother and pres for guidance.
“Right, it looks like Chewy has decided our next steps. Rider, organize the Tombs SUVs, we’ll load up, stick close. I’ll let Savage from Death Riders know that we may have one of our own tracking the women. Roman, any news on Ushakov? With Kraykowski out of the picture, it would help to know who’s pulling the strings and who we have to take down.”
