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“She. Didn’t. See. It. Happen.” Rodney was screaming and thrashing, and the machines attached to him started beeping and sputtering.
Nurses rushed into the room and told Amanda and Trent to leave.
In the parking lot, Amanda stopped under the overhang.
“Amanda?” Trent prompted.
“Katherine lied under oath.”
“Only if you take the word of a man who killed two people in three days and beat Katherine to within an inch of her life.”
She scanned his face, balancing how his personal life colored his viewpoint. “You’re right. Look what he’s done. What he’s capable of.”
“Exactly.” Trent started to walk toward the car.
She eventually followed. So what if Katherine lied about being there? It didn’t change the fact her stepfather had shot her mother. Or did it?
EPILOGUE
SATURDAY
Amanda hadn’t heard much from Logan. Just a single text on Thursday to say he was staying with a friend. Also that he was fine but processing things. He’d added, in case you were worried.
She almost responded on instinct with, Of course I’ve been worried… But she backspaced the message. Instead, she told him to take all the time he needed.
Zoe had asked after him several times, and Amanda hated holding this secret from her. She continued to tell her that Logan was away for a few days. Zoe didn’t understand why he’d take off so close to Christmas. Meanwhile, he could be out there finding a place to rent.
Amanda had removed the cash bag from the locker at Central and redeposited it in the bank earlier that morning, but she dropped Zoe at Libby and Penny’s so she could attend Leah Bernard’s funeral.
She accepted a memorial card from an usher at the entrance of the church. On the front was a grinning photo of Leah Bernard. Such an immense loss.
Amanda found a seat at the back of the church, not altogether comfortable in “the house of God.” The Bernards were in the front row. The girl’s mother was crying loudly, and a white-haired woman was rubbing her back. She was presumably the great-grandma, one hundred years old as of yesterday.
Amanda let her own tears fall, slowly, gracefully. Her grief was empathy for Leah’s family and friends but also for losing Logan. Because she was quite sure she had. Part of her pain was also in empathy for Katherine. She’d lived with a secret for the last sixteen years, until revealing it to Amanda at the hospital.
When Katherine was thirty-one and an officer with the NYPD, she was raped and became pregnant as a result. She took leave from work, had the baby, and gave it away for adoption. Her mother never even knew she’d had a granddaughter. Katherine hadn’t wanted to be reminded of her rapist every time she looked at the girl. But forward six years, and Katherine’s a detective in Homicide and assigned the Julie Gilbert case.
During the investigation, Katherine watched hours of video of the girl. She saw herself in her brown hair, long limbs, and a smile just like her mother’s. At that point, she knew in her heart the girl was hers. DNA tests that Katherine had done off the books confirmed it. As for the name Amy, Katherine said if she’d felt able to keep her, that’s what she would have named her.
It was tough dwelling on what Katherine must have suffered losing her child twice. First, when she gave her up for adoption and then again when she found out she’d been murdered. But all this had Amanda reflecting on her personal situation, how she’d lost her unborn son. He’d been snatched from her in the same accident that claimed the lives of Kevin and Lindsey. He was the child she never had the chance to meet, only bury. He was laid to rest beneath a tombstone with his name, Nathan James, after her father and Amanda’s married name.
Amanda’s gut twisted in grief as she let the undercurrents sweep her away. The accident had stolen so much, including leaving her unable to conceive. This was a loss she’d pushed aside while grieving her husband and six-year-old daughter, but today seemed a day for reflection.
She finally figured out why she hadn’t fired at Rodney and landed on it being due to seeing someone she knew suffering like that. Katherine had been there tied to a chair, bloody, and bruised. It must have been too much for Amanda’s mind to process.
Someone slid into the pew next to her and handed her a tissue, cutting through her thoughts.
She looked over, and it was Trent. She took his offering but was arrested by his eyes, his kindness, his understanding, and she wanted nothing more than to sink into his arms. Instead she sniffled, thanked him, and turned to the front as the service started.
It turned out to be a mournful celebration of the teenager’s life, full of colorful hymns that stood in contrast to the day.
Before leaving, she offered words of intended comfort to the Bernards, a goodbye to Trent, and headed home.
Amanda entered her house and was suffocated by the silence, the stillness, the emptiness. She was here to change before going to pick up Zoe. The separation would also allow her to shake some sorrow from the funeral. Zoe had a way of picking up on Amanda’s emotions, and she didn’t want to bring her down.
She’d just finished getting changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater when she heard the front door open.
It could only be one person. That realization was enough to render her motionless. She was in their bedroom, facing the mirror on top of her dresser, when Logan stepped into the doorway.
