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She mentally prepared herself and turned to face him.
“I drove by that funeral. The lot and streets around the church were packed,” he said.
“It was a full house.” Her heart fluttered as she feared he’d seen her sitting in the church beside Trent.
Logan rubbed his temple. “I just had to get away. Put some separation between us and what you told me.” He paused there, and she wasn’t sure if she was to step in or wait. She opted for the latter. “I’ve concluded one thing. Life’s too short to waste time.”
“I agree.” Her chest was aching. Was he going to forgive her or cut and run?
They were standing several feet apart, neither of them making a move to bridge the distance.
“Is the other day the only time that you kissed Trent?” He flinched upon saying Trent’s name as if it alone were a dagger to his chest. “Be honest with me. I need to know.”
“It’s not.”
“Oh, Mandy.”
“Please, listen. It happened before you and I got together. A long time ago. Back around the time of your wife’s murder.” She was rushing all of this out as a torrent, afraid she’d lose his attention, that he’d shut her out.
“Have you guys ever…?” He drew a finger between them, the implication clearly to imply sex.
“No. Never.”
“And that was the only other time you kissed him? Not another time since you and I got together?”
“No. I swear to you.”
He drew back as if her words stung.
“You need to decide whether you can believe me, trust me.”
“I don’t know at the moment.”
His honesty had tears springing to her eyes. “I understand. It’s up to you what happens moving forward to us, to…” She snapped her mouth shut, not about to bring up Zoe. As he’d said before, it was unfair to bring her into this. The girl wasn’t some bargaining chip for leveraging their relationship.
“Do you love him?”
“He’s my partner, Logan. A dear friend. I can’t lie to you and say he means nothing to me.”
“Do. You. Love. Him?”
A few tears splashed onto her cheeks, which she let be. “I do, but not like I love you.” She left it there, not about to claim she loved Trent like a brother. That would have been a lie. “I don’t know what else to say. This is your decision, but as I said, I love you and I want you to stay.” Her voice cracked at that last admission and had his gaze seeking hers.
After what stretched out as agonizing hours, but was only seconds in reality, he said, “Okay.”
“Okay…?”
“I’ll stay, but please don’t make me regret this. If you ever do something like this again, I’m out. Life’s too short, and I’m too…” He stopped talking, and she sensed a part of him had broken.
There was a tension in the air that told her to hold her space, let him keep his.
“You tell me there’s nothing there, you’ll never do this again. Then we’ll be all right, but it won’t be right away. You can understand that?”
“I can.” Her stomach and chest were clenched in agony. It was taking all her willpower not to hug him and somehow make everything okay between them instantly.
“Let’s move forward then, but I do have another question for you. Where is Zoe?”
“Libby’s, while I attended the funeral.”
“How about we go pick her up, get back here, and put up that freaking tree?” His attempt at being upbeat came out shallow, but it would take time to rebuild what they’d had. “What do you say?” He opened his arms to her, and she found herself running into them.
He was rigid and distant at first, but in seconds, his tough exterior melted. While a wall might still surround his heart, he clearly wanted to move past this. He hugged her tightly and tapped a kiss to her forehead.
Amanda put her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. They just might be okay, after all.
* * *
