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“She needs a pack. Kian… she asked Jameson if we’d help her through it.” I stopped in my tracks.
“Help her through it?” I repeated slowly. “We can’t get any more involved with her than we already are. If we do, she’ll end up staying with us. You think I can’t tell what you all are feeling?” Maddox looked at me with a longing in his eyes. Even though I was the most levelheaded in decision making for our pack, he could always get me with that look. I don't think even he knew how much he could sway me when he looked at me like that.
“Kian, don’t you see? She’s perfect for us. You can smell her, can’t you?” I turned away from him, looking up at the sky through the pine branches. I wanted to scream.
“You don’t think I know? You don’t think it tortures me every time I watch her with one of you? Every time I take a breath and smell the one thing I can't have? That we can’t have?” Maddox grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward him.
“Why, Kian? Why can’t we have her? She wants us too. You know it. She doesn’t have much in Haven, save for a single friend. Cy said she was in government housing. Kian, what if we let her stay with us? Just to try it out. Let’s get her through her heat, and after the hormones subside we can let her decide. She’s not going to turn on us. Her own province isn’t even looking for her. There’s no risk of letting her leave after the heat, but I don’t think she will want to. Just try to get to know her. You’ll see.” Maddox was almost my height, a large guy for a beta. His deep chestnut eyes had a way of seeing straight into me, and half the time I wanted to strangle him as much as I wanted to kiss him. This was one of those strangling moments. He was asking for something that might break us.
“What if we get her through the heat and she decides to leave? What if it’s all just her hormones talking? Do you really think you could handle her walking away?” I saw the hurt flash in his eyes as he considered it. “See? You are already feeling for her. It’s a liability, Maddox.” He refused to give up.
“I don’t see my feelings for her as a liability. Did you ever think we’ve been in this business too long? You’ve lived your whole life not being able to get too close to anyone for fear of losing them. You almost lost me.” Memories flashed back of that dark time when I almost pushed him away for fear of losing him.
“This might be a sign. How long are we supposed to go on living like this? Packs involved in our line of work never make it to old age.” His words hit me as I remembered my own family. Half of them were dead, either through crime or from being a threat to the top spot in the food chain.
“I’ll consider it - and by that I mean only the heat, nothing more permanent.” I compromised, knowing it was a losing battle. The omega had wiggled her way into our impenetrable pack, but I was worried we’d fall apart entirely. We’d never considered taking one on before, but it seemed we needed to face the inevitability of this one. Maddox was right about one key thing. As soon as I had a hit of her scent, I knew we were done for.
Chapter 30
Jameson
The last couple of days were incredible. I felt like I could finally breathe after being underwater my whole life. My pack had always been there for me, but I’d never been able to be vulnerable or care for someone before. Not like this. And Bella never looked at me like I was dangerous. She looked at me like I was safe, to be trusted. No one had ever looked at me like that. I could get addicted to being around her, if I wasn’t already. I’d been finding excuses to stay with her, and after she asked me about helping her through her heat, I felt it was only right to get to know her as much as I could so that she would feel comfortable with me. Right now she was still curled up with me on the bed as I brushed her hair. She had relaxed significantly once I assured her I would help her.
“Kitten, can I ask you something about your heats?” She stiffened at my question. What was she so afraid of?
“Yes.”
“An omega’s heat is a precious thing. You know we alphas would do anything for it. I can’t help noticing you act like it is a burden. Don’t you see how special you are?” She didn’t answer right away. I could feel her sniffle against my chest. Who had hurt this omega so much? I knew she wasn’t from our area. Eastern Province omegas would sometimes go through trauma from being trafficked or bitten against their will. Bella was from a safe place, so her heats and her status should have made her the most confident person in any room.
“I - Most people don’t want to keep me after a heat.” I tried to get her to look at me.
“What do you mean?” Her eyes were teary as she tried to get her words out.
“I always thought heats were special too. But after my first one, it was awful. I ended up having to go to the Omega House, and the pack that courted me after saw me as used goods. The more packs I go through, the less anyone wants me. I’m not sure I’ll ever get a pack bond.” My heart lurched as she spoke. This couldn’t be right. I was going to kill whoever made her feel this way. Trying to keep my rage in check, I spoke gently to her.
“What do you mean after your first heat? How did you end up at the omega house?” She stiffened again. “Please, kitten. You can tell me. I want to help you, and I know you didn’t do anything wrong. If you feel like sharing, I’m here.” A minute went by before her voice came out again, this time muffled as she pushed her face into my chest, my shirt damp with her tears. She began telling her story.
“No one expected I’d present as an omega. It was rare for anyone on our side of town to be anything other than a beta. But when I did, a pack approached me…”
She went on to tell her story, and as she began to speak about her past, I felt the rage inside of me grow.
Chapter 31
Bella
Three years earlier
The pack had used me for my first heat, enjoying my desperation and getting their pleasure out of it while breaking every promise to me afterward. They had sent me home in shame, and after many calls, I realized they all must have blocked my number. There would be no bite, no pack for me. There was likely no promotion for my father, either. I was dropped off in front of my home, shaking as I stepped inside. The lights were out. My parents were probably both working overtime. I was all alone.
For days, I didn’t leave my room, bewildered and forlorn. How could this be? They had promised! They even had a nest made for me. Now who would court me? I would be a laughingstock! I stewed as I lay in my bed, getting angrier the more I thought about them. The hormones had worn off, and post-heat I was able to think much more clearly. They couldn't do this to me. I wouldn’t let them. I needed them to see that it was me they had hurt, Bella, the girl they promised to take care of. And I was going to make them remember how special I was. The daylight was breaking through my window as I made my decision. I got up and showered, putting on one of the nice dresses they bought me. I’d give them a piece of my mind and fight for them. I was their omega.
Once I was ready and presentable, I called up a rideshare and put in the address of Lance’s family mansion. I knew where it was - everyone in town did. I’d seen glimpses of the inside of it on their social media posts. As the car took me closer to the wealthier part of town, I saw the streets get cleaner and the houses get nicer. Soon we were at the front of one of the best gated communities - the one where Pack Deloney lived. A guard stepped out as the rideshare pulled up to the gate. “Name?” He asked, and the driver looked back at me. Crap! I knew I wouldn’t be on the list. I poked my head out the window.
”I'm here to see Pack Deloney.” I said, and the guard looked at me cautiously.
“The younger pack or the senior pack?” I remembered Lance’s father lived in this community as well. I thought about what the guard was really asking. Lance’s father’s pack had a rumored reputation of going after omegas outside of their pack. I had never believed it before, thinking that all alphas were committed to their omega. But now I didn’t know what to believe, so in a split second decision, I blurted out a lie. “The senior.” The guard looked at me again, then at his watch.
“It’s early. You should have gone through the back entrance where it’s less public facing. Have more discretion next time.” He nodded me in, and the gate raised. I sat back in the car, letting out a breath I had been holding. How often did Lance’s fathers have unbonded omegas come to visit? It gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t think about it too long as we were pulling up the driveway to a massive, luxurious mansion. I knew from the outside that it was Pack Deloney’s. It had been featured in an architectural magazine. Earlier, when they were still courting me, I had dreams they would take me here and we would all live happily ever after and in love. I had no idea how wrong I was as I walked up that driveway with my legs barely holding out. I gathered up my courage and knocked on the door. After a minute, when no one answered, I knocked again. Finally, I heard footsteps approaching and the door opened. I took a breath to get ready to give them a piece of my mind. When I saw who was on the other side of the door, I let it all out in a whoosh of surprise. I stared in confusion as another omega stared back at me.
