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I stood up and dusted off my butt. “Are you hungry? Do you want some pizza?”
“I want to wait on Justin and Mason and Ben.”
Forcing a smile, I looked at my son finally and nodded down at him He looked nervous and I knew it was my fault so I sat down on the couch and held up a game controller. “Should we play something while we wait? I bet I can kick your butt.”
His smile returned full force and he hurried over to me. “No way, Mom! You’re a girl!”
I scoffed. “I have so much to teach you, kid.”
Glancing up at the door, I told myself to relax and focus on Forrest. The guys said they’d be back, so they’d be back. I just had to trust them.
CHAPTER 36
Violet
I jerked awake after a fitful night of sleep and sat up gasping for breath. I’d been having a nightmare but I couldn’t remember what it was about. I could still feel the panic and stumbled to the bathroom to splash water on my face.
After waiting hours at the main house the night before, I’d finally given up on the guys coming back in a timely manner. I’d cleaned up the house as best as I could and carried Forrest back to our house. He’d passed out without eating dinner and I was worried about him so I went to check on him but he wasn’t in his bed.
“Forrest?” I moved through the rest of our home and couldn’t find him anywhere. With my heart beating painfully fast, I ran outside and down the stairs. I heard sobbing as soon as I turned the corner of the garage and could see the main house. “Forrest?!”
He was sitting on the front porch steps, openly sobbing. His little body shook and he had snot running from his nose he didn’t even notice.
I ran to him and my brain tried to think of scenarios for why he was crying like he was. I didn’t see any wounds, but I couldn’t be sure. I’d assumed that since he was outside, the guys had come home, but he was all alone. I sat next to him on the porch and pulled him into my lap. “What’s wrong, baby? What happened?”
He spilled his guts through a stuffy nose and broken sobs. “I saw them outside and I wanted to play. I remembered to put on my shoes and when I got downstairs, they were getting in their truck. They didn’t hear me, Mom, and they just left me.”
Anger clogged my throat but I held it in. “I’m sorry, baby. They didn’t hear or see you. If that did, they would’ve stopped for you. You know that?”
“They had bags. Are you moving? Are they leaving me?”
I held him tighter. “No, Forrest. They aren’t leaving you. This is their home and you’re their…friend. They must’ve gone on a trip for work. I’m so sorry this happened, though, baby. I know it hurt your feelings. They’ll be back and you can talk to them about it. Okay?”
He wiped his nose on my shirt and nodded. “I just wanted to see them and play with my toys with them.”
I stroked his hair back from his face and worked hard to keep my face neutral. “I know, Forrest. I miss them, too. As soon as they’re back, you can challenge them to whatever fun games you want.”
He just shrugged continued to look heartbroken.
“Why don’t we go back to our house? I’m starving. How about you? I’ll make breakfast.” I held my breath and hoped pancakes helped some. “I’ll add chocolate chips to your pancakes if you want.”
“I’m not hungry, Mom.”
I led him back upstairs, planning on finding my phone and ripping the guys a new one as soon as I could. Especially when Forrest went back to his bed and pulled his blanket over his head. “I’m going to make pancakes just in case you change your mind, buddy.”
He didn’t reply but I hadn’t expected him to. He was shutting down.
I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and rushed into the bathroom. I tried calling each of them, just to be sent to voicemail. I called Ben last so it was his voicemail that got the message. “He watched you guys drive away. He ran down to catch you and when you didn’t hear him, he watched you leave. I found him crying on your front steps, sobbing. You can’t do that to him. You can’t break his heart. It’s not fair.”
I hung up and sat on the toilet. I felt like crying for myself, too. I wasn’t sure I could handle their job. I was just running my thumbs over my screen when I noticed I had a text. Opening it didn’t make me feel any better.
An emergency case came up that we have to take care of. We’ll be back in two days, at the most. We boarded General and Captain.
How…efficient. I put my phone down and leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees. It was an emotionless message from men who weren’t ready to commit to relationships. With me, or Forrest. They’d left in the middle of us telling him they’re his fathers and left a cold text as a goodbye? After making it so clear that they chose the cases they took on, it was clear they’d chosen to leave on a longer trip. They’d chosen a trip over telling Forrest.
We hadn’t even told Forrest they were his fathers yet, and they were already hurting him. I didn’t want a life of pain and disappointment for Forrest. He deserved more than that.
I hid in the bathroom and cried. I ached for Forrest, but I also ached for me. I cared about them. I wanted them. I wanted them to be the men they promised they’d be.
