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I inspected my hands in my lap. “They came. We talked. Forrest made it clear he wanted to go with them. I let him.”
Joanie squeezed my arm. “Oh, Vi. Didn’t they apologize?”
I nodded. “Yeah. They were upset and didn’t want to take Forrest from me but Ben accidentally spilled the beans they’re his fathers and there was no stopping that train. Forrest wasn’t coming back into the apartment with me without me forcing him. I didn’t want to do that.”
“Wait. So they apologized?” Margaret tapped her fingers on her knees. “Why didn’t you leave with them? Especially since Forrest did?”
I took a deep breath and stared across the room at nothing. “They apologized. They were angry at me for leaving their house, though, so we fought a little. Then Forrest was there, announcing he hates me, and I just…gave up. Mason came in and we talked a little more, but I still don’t know.”
“What don’t you know?” Margaret reached over and took my hands. “Honey, you love them. Everyone can see it.”
I nodded. “I know. I love them more than I ever thought I could love someone who isn’t Forrest. I miss them so much.”
“Well, what’s the problem?” Joanie turned to face me. “I must be missing something.”
I sank back into the couch and stared down at where Margaret was grasping my hands. “I’m scared. I don’t know if I can live through a repeat of this last month again.”
“Let me let you in on a little secret. Whether or not you deny yourself the love of these men, that fear doesn’t go anywhere. Love is fucking scary. Yeah, Ben, Mason, and Justin have jobs that are more dangerous than the normal Joe, but you would be scared to lose anyone you love as much as you love them. That’s what it’s like when you give your heart away.” Letting go of my hands to pat my knees, Margaret stood up and wagged her finger at me. “You’re no coward, Violet.”
I turned to Joanie after Margaret walked away and scoffed. “Even though she said I’m no coward, I feel like she just called me a coward. That was the vibe, right?”
“Yeah.” Joanie laughed and pulled me in for a hug. “You got a second chance with the loves of your life, Vi. They’re the fathers of your son. Life, or Margaret, brought you back together again and you’d be a fool to let it slip away. They’re crazy about you and Forrest. If fear’s the only thing holding you back, let it fucking go.”
I looked around the room and blew out a deep sigh. “Think Margaret will become mayor?”
Joanie snorted. “Hell, yeah. Then I think I may need to move. She’s scary with power.”
“What about you and Chase?”
Her head whipped around to face me. “There is no me and Chase.”
“So, I’m the only one not allowed to be a coward?” I raised my eyebrows at her. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. There’s chemistry between you two.”
Standing up, Joanie pulled me to my feet and we walked out together, both of us stewing over our own stuff. Finally, she looked at me and frowned. “It’s never going to happen with Chase.”
“What if I said the same about my guys?”
“You’d be a liar. You just called them yours.” She pulled me into a tight hug and then patted my cheeks. “You love them and they love you. Give them a chance.”
I felt a wave of nausea and held still until it passed. “I feel sick at the idea of taking chances right now.”
“Yeah, you just went green. Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t handle big emotional dilemmas very well. You should’ve seen me after I found out I was pregnant with Forrest. I lost fifteen pounds through the first few months of pregnancy.”
She laughed. “And you’re sure you’re not pregnant now?”
“I’m not. I…” When was my last period? I started to count backwards, but I couldn’t remember having a period since arriving in Lilyfield. Another wave of nausea crashed over me and there was no stopping me that time. I doubled over and threw up right there in the middle of town.
CHAPTER 43
Violet
“Where are you, Violet? It’s late and the guys stopped by to drop off Forrest, but Forrest either wants to see you or go back with the guys. He’s still being a bit of a turd.” Mom’s voice was muffled through my phone’s speaker, but I understood what she was saying. Her tone said it all. I should’ve been at her house hours ago.
I stared down at the pregnancy test in my hand and spoke through a husky voice. “Um… I had to pick something up at CVS and the closest one was forty minutes away. I just lost track of time.”
“What did you need at CVS? You live above a pharmacy.” She sounded even more worried. “What’s going on, Violet? You don’t sound right.”
