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I wanted Paulo, so much I couldn’t think straight. And I was willing to do anything to get my hands on him.
Chapter Nine – Paulo
Rising from my seat in the office, I headed back towards my room. Still no more information from my contacts about what was going on with the financial reports, and I knew I would have to just wait another day to get to the bottom of it.
It was frustrating, of course, but I could handle it. I had already been waiting nearly a week for them to get back to me, and I could stand to hold out a little more. I yawned, planning on taking a shower and then climbing into bed for a decent night’s rest.
At least, as decent as I could get, given how much she had been on my mind today.
Ever since we had encountered each other in the kitchen the night before, Selina had been the only thing I’d been able to think about. I could remember, all too vividly, her hand on mine, her soft fingers winding around mine, and that flicker of something close to desire when she looked at me. Was I just imagining it? Maybe. I knew it was dangerous for me to let myself get that close to her, given her past, given everything she was still going through. She was just a matter of days out from being an active addict, and, in my current state, the last thing I needed was to get drawn back into all of that.
And yet … and yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I had hit the gym this morning, trying to burn off some of the excess energy throbbing in my system, but it didn’t help. She was all I could think about, those gorgeous eyes staring up at me, all the hope written on her face, like she wanted me to just kiss her already.
Which was never going to happen. Not with me as the one starting it, at least. When I thought about everything she had been through, I knew there was no way I could make the first move. If it was going to happen, which I very much doubted it was, then she had to be the one calling the shots. She had to be the one deciding that we did it. And I was sure she would think better of being with an old man like me as soon as she started to settle a little more. She was just looking at me like that because it had been so long since she’d had someone treat her with any kind of respect. There were a million more suitable men out there for her, and when she figured that out, she would look back on that night as nothing more than a fleeting …
"Selina?"
I stopped dead in my tracks when I opened my bedroom door. Inside, Selina was waiting for me, sitting on the edge of the bed. For a second, I thought I must have imagined her; there was no way she could actually be there, right? Maybe I had just been thinking about her so much I had conjured her through sheer force of will …
But, as she gazed up at me, I knew this was real. I knew I couldn’t have imagined the look in her eyes right now, the clothes she was wearinga light tank top with no bra underneath, her small breasts visible through the thin fabric, a pair of delicate shorts on her lower half, feet bare, just like they had been back in the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, averting my eyes from her quickly. I couldn’t deny that my body was responding to the sight of her like that, but that didn’t mean I had to actually do anything about it, right? I was a grown-ass man, and I wasn’t going to let myself get thrown by a pretty girl in my room.
"I want you, Paulo," she murmured, rising to her feet as she made her way over to me. I couldn’t even look at her. I felt as though I was going to be overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of just having her that close to me. Did she have any idea what she did to me? Any idea how long it had been since I had felt want this intense for a woman?
"You shouldn’t be here," I told her, and she stood in front of me, waiting for me to look down at her, waiting for me to acknowledge her presence properly.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because … because of everything you’ve been through," I told her firmly. "You should go."
"So, because of what happened, I shouldn’t be able to want a man again?" she asked me, as though daring me to argue with her.
"That’s not what I’m saying—"
"I really want you, Paulo," she continued, reaching up to plant her hand on the side of my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. I could already feel myself stirring being that close to her, and it felt dangerous—dangerous in a way I couldn’t deny, but exciting, too. Thrilling. I wanted nothing more than to just grab her and throw her onto the bed, show her how much I wanted her too.
But if this was going to happen, then I needed to be sure. Utterly and completely sure. I couldn’t risk anything else.
"Are you sure?" I replied, reaching up to cover her hand with my own. She had seemed so vulnerable before, but here, now, there was something … different in the way she carried herself. A confidence. A certainty. As though she had given this a lot of thought and knew precisely what she wanted now that she was there in front of me.
"I’m certain," she breathed. "I … It’s been so long since I’ve actually felt anything for anyone, Paulo, in the way I feel something for you. I don’t want to live out the rest of my life feeling like I’m damaged goods, feeling as though nobody could ever want me because of what happened."
She bit her lip, and I gazed down at her mouth for a moment. God, it was tempting. I wanted to kiss her, wanted to feel her mouth moving against mine, like we were starving for each other. My physical reactions were getting the better of me, but I was more mature than I had been as a younger man; the younger me would have just gone for it already, but this version was more careful. This version wanted her to be the one who decided this.
"If we do this," I told her, slowly, carefully, making sure not to agree to anything right off the bat. "Then you call the shots. You tell me if it gets too much, and we can stop at any time. Okay?"
"Okay," she breathed, a smile spreading over her lips. "Can I kiss you now?”
Oh, fuck. Hearing those words come out of her mouth, it was as though something melted inside of me. I couldn’t hold back any longer. Finally, I let myself sink against her, our mouths coming together at last, and she wound her arms around me and kissed me back.
Her tongue was soft as she parted my lips, deepening the kiss like she was starving for me, like she couldn’t imagine anything better than this moment. I slid my hands to her waist, pulling her in close to me, needing to feel her closer and closer. She arched her back into me, pressing herself against my body and moaned against my lips, the sound of it echoing all the way through my system.
She pulled me back towards the bed, bringing me down on top of her and wrapping her legs around me to pull me in close. I could already feel myself getting hard, and I tilted my head, shifting my lips to her neck so I could taste her skin. She gasped as I felt the pulse of her veins beneath my mouth, wanting to consume her, wanting to taste every part of her that I could.
I slid my hands to her stomach, pushing up her tank top slightly, and she pulled it up and tossed it over her head. I did the same, pulling off the tee I had been working in after the gym and throwing it aside, moving down to kiss her once more. The feel of her body against mine, of our bare skin coming together like that, it was everything to me. I was already addicted.
She reached for my hand and guided it down between her legs, gazing at me as my fingertips trailed along the inside of her thigh. I didn’t need any more explanation. I slid my hand between her legs, cupping my fingers around the outside of her flimsy shorts, and then, finally, dipping them past her panties so I could feel the wetness of her pussy for the first time.
