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"Oh, fuck," she gasped, and I pulled back, looking at her, concerned.
"You okay?" I asked, and she paused for a moment, then nodded and smiled.
"Yeah," she breathed, brushing her fingers through my hair. "It just feels so fucking good …"
She spread her legs, kicking off her shorts and her panties, and let me play with her for the first time. I moved my fingers in slow circles around her clit, and she matched my movement with her hips, grinding into me like she couldn’t get enough.
I slowly inched my fingers down until I could slip one inside of her, taking in the expression on her face as she registered the pleasure. Her lips parted, eyes softening, and I slipped my other hand around the hollow of her back, pulling her closer to me. I could tell from the way she was looking at me that she didn’t want this to stop, and I didn’t, either. I wasn’t ready for this to end, not now, not yet. I could feel my hardness growing between my legs, aching and insisting on some kind of attention, and it wasn’t going to be long until I had to have her.
She closed her eyes, her lips curling up into a smile as I slid another finger inside of her. I wanted to make her come, so badly. I wanted to see her give herself up to the pleasure I was giving her. I wanted to watch her let go of everything else in her mind for a moment, and just focus on this. I could see her breath rising and falling in her chest, her nipples swollen slightly, nut-brown against her pale skin. I leaned down to graze my teeth over them, unable to resist, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin like I had been starved of it for too long.
"Oh," she groaned, and all at once, she clamped her thighs around my hand, and I felt her pussy throbbing around my fingers. Goosebumps rushed across her skin, and I traced the movement of them across her torso with my tongue, wanting to feel every part of her as she reached her release. Her fingers dug into my back, pulling me in even closer, her hips grinding down against my hand.
I drew my hand back after a few moments, giving her a second to catch her breath, resting my fingers on her thigh as I watched that smile soften on her face. When she managed to open her eyes again, she reached for me, fingers running through my hair and along the back of my neck.
"I really want you inside of me," she told me. Fuck, the sound of those words coming out of her mouth, knowing how much she meant them, got me off like nothing else in the world. She wasn’t just doing this because she felt like she had to go through with it after we’d gotten this far; I could tell that she was desperate for me, for every part of me.
And I was just as desperate to give her what she craved so badly.
I moved on top of her, kicking off my pants and underwear, and she gazed down at my body as though she had never seen a man naked before in her life—like all of this was new to her. Maybe it was, this part—the part where she actually wanted it, actually craved it. She hooked her legs around my calves, pulling me in close to her, not taking her eyes off of me as I lined myself up with the entrance to her pussy.
"You ready?" I asked, and she nodded, biting her lip, stemming the grin that seemed determined to reach her ears.
"Mm-hmm," she breathed back, and then, at last, I pushed myself into her.
I took my time, easing my way inside of her carefully, not wanting to rush this or push her too far, too fast. I knew the last thing she needed was to be hurried, and we had all the time in the world right now. I focused on the reactions of her body, the way she breathed, the little moans that rose and fell at the back of her throat as she felt me filling her for the first time, making sure she wanted this as much as I did.
I began to move, slowly at first, letting her set the pace as she pushed back against me. I wanted her to call the shots here, and I needed her to know that I wasn’t going to rush her into anything she wasn’t ready for. But, as she began to find her pace and push herself back against me, I knew there was no danger of her falling behind.
"Oh," she moaned in my ear, as I began to slide all the way to the hilt inside of her. Her pussy felt perfect, warm and tight and wet, but more than that, her reactions turned me on like nothing else. Hearing this woman want me, really want me, like she couldn’t imagine ever having desired anyone else like this in her life, it was a turn-on like nothing else in the world. I was taking my time, but I could already feel myself starting to get closer and closer to the edge, moving inside of her, enjoying every inch of her body in the process.
She wrapped her arms around me and pulled her knees back, hooking her ankles around the small of my back so I could move into her even more deeply. I groaned, thrusting harder, the sound of our bodies coming together over and over again filling the room. I wanted to lose myself to this moment, to this feeling—to the sensation of her body pressed against me, taking me, wanting me, needing me.
I shifted my weight a little, so I was grinding against her clit as I thrust into her, pushing myself in deep and hard, and soon, I could feel the insides of her thighs beginning to twitch against my body. I knew she was getting close again, and there was nothing I wanted more than to make her come, watch her lose herself to how good this felt. She was breathing hard against my ear, her breath catching at the back of her throat, a sure sign she was close, so close, to the edge …
And then, I felt it, the moment she lost herself to our connection. She came hard, her pussy contracting around my cock, as though she was pulling me deeper and deeper into her. I groaned, feeling the pressure take me over the edge as she gasped into my ear, filling her with my seed, bottoming out deep inside of her and holding myself there. I wasn’t ready to break this connection, not yet. I wasn’t ready for this to be over.
But, finally, slowly, I eased myself out of her, moving carefully back from her body and gazing into her eyes. And she smiled back up at me, her face clear—no doubt in her mind, no worry, no fear. Just pleasure. Just want.
I leaned down and kissed her again, brushing my lips softly against hers. I couldn’t imagine getting enough of her. But I was sure as hell willing to try.
Chapter Ten – Selina
I paused outside his office door, not sure if I should bother him. I felt like I was just going to irritate him if I tried to come by and talk, but I knew I had to get all of this off my chest, or I was going to lose my mind.
Paulo had told me, that night that we had first slept together, that if there was anything I needed, anything at all, he wanted to be there to provide it for me. I had taken that to mean that he was more than willing to pick up where we had left off sexually, but he pulled back and looked me in my eyes, his face serious as he squeezed me in close.
"No, I mean anything," he corrected me. "Anything you need to talk about, anything you need to get off your chest … you know where I am, right?"
"I know," I echoed him, feeling a little pang in my chest as we spoke. It had been such a long time, longer than I could even remember, since someone had talked to me like they actually wanted to get to know me. Like they actually liked me, for more than just what my body could do for them.
I had assumed he’d lose interest in me the moment we actually had sex, but instead, he seemed to have grown even more protective of me. He offered me his bed to sleep in every night, if I wanted it, and I took the chance at once—there was something so soothing about listening to the sound of his breathing as he slept, the slow rise and fall of it. And when I woke up to his arms around me, I felt a safety I hadn’t felt in a long time, knowing that someone actually wanted me, wanted to protect me. When I had been sleeping in my own room, I had woken with a start every day, feeling like I was being exposed to the world fresh and raw, but I didn’t have to fear the same thing with him by my side.
But now … Today had been tough. Really, really tough. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d woken up this morning, for the first time since I had quit, craving coke. Craving it from the very bottom of my system, like every part of me was just crying out for it, and I had no idea how to control that. I felt as though I would lose my mind if I didn’t get a hit soon, but I had to keep my focus, keep my sobriety.
I could feel the discomfort crawling through every part of my system, and I just couldn’t work out what had triggered me to feel this way. Why was my body choosing now to throw all this shit at me, when I finally felt like I was getting my feet underneath me? I didn’t know. I couldn’t put the pieces together. Paulo had suggested therapy, but I had brushed him off—I wasn’t ready for that yet, though God only knew how much I probably needed it.
I leaned outside the door to his office, listening to him rustling papers inside. The sound of it made me smile. There was something about listening to him work that I liked; it soothed me, comforted me, and I hoped he knew that. I wasn’t sure I had the words yet to really express to him how I was feeling, how comfortable I felt in his presence, but I hoped I was showing it by trusting him as much as I was.
