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And that alone proved to me that I wasn’t cut out to do this.
“Don’t think like that,” Hudson growled, “not just yet. An alpha never gives up that quickly.”
With the force of a thousand wolves, I tossed Hudson off my body. I stood onto my hind legs and allowed a sky-shattering howl to erupt from the back of my throat. Everything stilled, in that moment. Gone were the whimpers and the groans. The moans and the fights. The wind still carried that God-forsaken bear shifter smell with it, but I dug down deep into the pit of my gut and fought it.
I fought the urge to go slaughter every single one of those clan members as I dropped back down onto all fours.
“Everyone!” I said as I tapped into our groupthink. “Follow Brody back to the chalets. We’re headed home.”
“No.”
After everything that had happened, after the absolute chaos of the run, all was silent on our front. The hairs lining my spine bristled as I slowly turned around, ready to clock the asshole who thought they could say “no” to me. The second my eyes landed on the wolf, too, it was as if my gut already knew who in the hell had spoke.
I found myself staring at a chestnut brown wolf with icy blue eyes as she parted the pack.
“No?” I growled.
“No,” she said with a shake of her head, “you drag us out here to run, and to hunt, and to eat, and then after we finally get ourselves into a position where we can do just that, you want to head home? No.”
I took a step toward her. “We’re heading home, and that’s that. It isn’t safe out here.”
“It isn’t safe with you, no. But, it’s absolutely safe out here.”
Dean charged up to my side. “Penny, back off. This is your alpha you’re speaking with.”
She scoffed. “Alpha? After watching her stumble along and lose control of her wolf? You want us to follow her when she doesn’t have a fucking clue what she’s doing?”
I paused. “Wait, you know about that?”
Penny rolled her eyes. “You’re not exactly subtle when you do things. The entire pack knows you’re not capable of taking on this job. And we don’t follow beginners into the void. We trust our instincts.”
Dean growled. “Which is what we’re doing right--.”
I walked in front of him, effectively cutting him off. “We go back and we stay safe. You don’t like that? Then, you can stay out here and take on the risk yourself. But, you’re not sacrificing myself and this entire pack just because you don’t like one person in it.”
I stared her down, waiting for her to attack. Waiting for her to make the stupidest move alive so that I could skin her flesh from her bones. Who the hell did she think she was, coming at me like that? Questioning me like that in front of half the goddamn pack that had decided to run with us?
“Your anger is showing,” Levi said, “take a damn breath, Raven.”
I had no clue how long we stood there. I had no idea how long we faced off with one another. However, the second Penny bowed out of the fight, I raised my head high. I turned around and set my sights for our encampment, forcing myself to ignore the hungering thirst of the wolf embedded within me. And even though all eyes were on me, waiting for me to slip up, I didn’t let it get to me. I didn’t let the rest of the pack bother me with their thoughts. I had to get back to the house, I had to get back to being human, and I had to get back to the world that had raised me. Because Penny was right, I had no place in Bend. I had no place with that pack. If anything, the full moon had proved to me that I had no business being out there with all of them.
Even if I had been one of them from the start.
17
LEVI
“You think she wants some company now?” I asked as I stared down the road toward Colin’s house.
Hudson placed his hand on my shoulder. “I think you need to be around more women if you don’t know the answer to that question.”
I shrugged his touch off. “Well, I’m going to find her. She hasn’t surfaced since we all got back last night. I know something’s wrong.”
Dean jogged up to my side. “How’s she doing?”
I scoffed. “Your guess is as good as mine. Hudson here thinks I shouldn’t even approach the house.”
“Really?” Dean asked breathlessly. “Why?”
