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I remembered looking up into my father’s eyes and making him promise that he’d call me every day. That he’d come visit. That it wouldn’t be the last time I’d see him.
And from that point on, I’d never heard from him again.
Mom barely gave me enough time to process the move, much less the loss of everything in my life. I’d left so much behind—so many dolls, toys, and blankets that gave me comfort during the bad days. There were books I’d never recover. Paintings I’d never hang on my walls. So much of my childhood was rooted in this place, and yet so much of my childhood had been filled with pain, resentment, and fighting.
Jesus Christ, they had always fought.
“Daddy, when will I see you again?”
I hugged him tightly around his waist before he dipped down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you soon, lovebug. Okay? I’ll come find you the second your mother lets me know that you’ve settled somewhere safe.”
A tear streaked my cheek as I looked him in his eyes. “Promise?”
He swiped my tear away with the pad of his thumb. “I promise, lovebug.”
“Come on, Raven!” Mom exclaimed as she honked the truck horn. “We gotta go!”
My lower lip quivered. “I wanna stay with you, Daddy. Please.”
He swallowed hard as he blinked back his own tears. “I know you don’t understand right now, but this is all for the best. Please, remember that. Everything I do will always be in protection of you.”
“I don’t know what that means. Tell me what it means!”
Honk Honk! “Raven! Come on!”
I threw my arms around Daddy’s neck. “I love you so much.”
He wrapped me up in the tightest hug imaginable. “I love you too, lovebug. You’re my world, and I hope you never forget that.”
Tears I didn’t realize I was shedding spilled across my cheeks. As I wiped tears from beneath my eyes, I recounted that moment over and over again. It was the last thing my father had ever said to me. It was the last time I’d ever heard his voice. There were no birthday cards during the summer. No phone calls or video calls during the holidays. No presents were sent to me, no visits were made, and the older I got, the more I convinced myself that it had all been an elaborate illusion.
That my father had never really existed.
Let me out. Now. The voice inside me growled.
“Shut up,” I grumbled to myself.
Every time my wolf side reared its head, it reminded me of my absent father. It was the only proof I had that he had ever once existed, and I hated that side of me for it. All I wanted to do was forget about the pain. All I wanted was to erase that part of me forever so that I could move on with the life I had created with my own two hands. My father had abandoned me. He had abandoned us.
And I was pissed off that I had to be in Bend staring at that fucking house in the first place.
“Jackass,” I murmured to myself.
The only good thing about my father’s place was that he didn’t live dead center with the pack. He had a small chalet in the shifter village where he ruled supreme. But then he had this home—our home—that he retreated to when the long days were over. It was located deep in the surrounding woods of Bend. So deep in fact, that the only way someone could find it was if they had been there before. The one thing I remembered about him was that he found it imperative to separate his family from the rest of the pack. I never did figure out why that was, so I simply chalked it up to him being eccentric. After all, my father had always been a bit… overprotective.
At least, that was what I remembered of him.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said softly to myself.
I pushed down the anger and the feelings of abandonment right onto the back of my wolf that kept trying to rear its head. I needed that voice to shut up. I needed the electric tingles to go away. She wasn’t being released whether she liked that or not, and as I picked up my go-bag, I started into the house. I looked down at the rusty key before I slid it into the lock. It took a bit of wiggling before the door jarred free, but the second I tossed it open, the smell of lilacs and honey bombarded my mind.
Shaking free more memories that tugged a smile across my face.
“Daddy!”
“Lovebug!”
I ran into my father’s arms after a day of exploring the river with Brody. I ran into my father’s arms with water and mud dripping from my body, Mom grumbling behind me as she cleaned up the mess. Dad picked me up and swung me around, earning a scolding from Mom we probably both deserved. And as he sat my feet back down onto the floor, he crooked his finger beneath my chin.
