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“What do you want to do?” I ask, belatedly realizing I’ve stepped on a landmine.
“What can I do?” She throws her hands in the air, voice ringing loudly off the trees. “It’s not like I have a choice. You know how crazy it would sound if I suddenly started insisting that I’ve really been Evangeline in disguise all along? No one would believe a word I said.”
I see my opening and hate myself for it. But convincing her to let this go is part of the deal I made. If she keeps digging, the alumni won’t ever stop coming for her.
We’d circled around the issue last night, but now it’s time to go in for the kill.
“Maybe it’s time to give it up,” I suggest. “Maybe you should forget about Olivia and whatever mess she made and focus on yourself.”
She just stares at me, expression unreadable. “What does that mean exactly?”
“I mean…” I hesitate, carefully choosing my words. This is not something she’s going to want to hear. “You came here to avenge your sister because you saw her as some tragic victim. The girl I just saw in the dining hall doesn’t seem very much like a victim. She certainly didn’t seem all that fragile when she was stripping her clothes off in my room last night. If she doesn’t want you to fight for her, then trying is just a waste of your time. Maybe this whole thing has been a waste of time.”
“I can’t believe you would say that,” she hisses. “My sister was in a coma. I almost died in a car crash and we have no idea who’s responsible. You spent the weekend in jail. All of it comes back to Havoc House. And now you’re telling me we’re just supposed to forget about all of it?”
“I want you to stop when you’re not helping anyone and might just get yourself killed.”
I don’t realize how bitter I sound until the words are out of my mouth. Anger hadn’t been the predominant emotion when I got out of that police station. It had mostly just been relief. But now, barely suppressed rage simmers just under the surface and I keep it under wraps with an effort. Gigi isn’t the actual target, but I need her to stop picking and digging before it blows up in our faces. She needs to stop, for all our sakes.
It’s only four months until graduation. Four months until I get my inheritance and finally get out from under my father’s thumb. Four months until I never have to worry about Havoc House bullshit again.
“I’m saying that it’s getting harder and harder to remember what we’re supposed to be fighting for. Everyone but us has already moved on,” I bite out. “We have nothing to gain here but more suffering. That means it’s time to end it.”
Piercing blue eyes study my face. “Why did Anton get kicked out of Havoc House? I know it had something to do with Olivia?”
Jack’s last words to me float through my mind, as much as I wish I could forget them.
If you start growing a conscience again, just remember what you have to lose.
“Like I told you, he was a dead,” I respond flatly. “Guy had a nervous breakdown last year, that’s all. He was too looped to tell me anything useful. The guy can’t even hold down a job.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she bursts out, stubbornness written into every line of her face. “Chantel remembers him talking about Olivia last year. There is no way he wasn’t involved.”
This is for her own good, I remind myself.
“Maybe your stripper friend is the one with a faulty memory,” I respond implacably. “Havoc House parties have always been wild, and the seniors were at their wildest last year. Anton could have been talking about a totally different girl on a totally different night. You didn’t see him. The guy lives with his hoarder mother. I promise you he isn’t some criminal mastermind.”
I can tell from her expression that she doesn’t want to agree with me, but I see her wavering.
This is basically the definition of gaslighting, but I can’t let myself feel badly about it. I’m doing this to save her from her own worst impulses. Otherwise, Evangeline won’t stop fighting until she gets herself killed.
Why won’t she stop fighting a war that she can’t possibly win?
She looks away from me. “You can’t just expect me to stop.”
“There isn’t anything left to fight for,” I tell her softly. “Olivia doesn’t need or want your help. And there are so many better things to focus on.”
I pull her closer to me, inhaling the hint of vanilla in her hair. She sags against me when I kiss her, like all the fight has momentarily drained from her body. I know it’s only a momentary reprieve because Gigi isn’t the type to accept defeat.
But for the time being, I know how to distract her.
Chapter Twelve
Drake presses me back against the rock face, his hands urgent as they slip into my open jacket and glide up my body.
I want to resist him, because this feels like giving in to more than just his touch. It’s impossible to fight the idea that there is something he isn’t telling me.
But I can’t think straight with his fingers sliding along the exposed skin of my collarbone. He touches me like he has every right to do it, even though we were just in the middle of an argument.
