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“That’s good to hear,” His eyes bounced to Sadie, likely praying she would jump in and make things easier for him, but she didn’t. She continued surveying the menu as if she weren’t sitting between us. “Listen, I know things have been awkward between us for a long time, and that’s my fault. I’ve made many mistakes. I’m not proud of most, but I do love you. I’ve always loved you.”
“Love isn’t something you confess. It’s an action, and you’ve done nothing to make me feel this love you claim to have.”
“You’re right.”
“Does your wife know where you are right now?” I asked, not holding my tongue to make him more comfortable. It was pathetic of him to put another woman’s feelings above the person he chose to create.
“Maria knows I’m having lunch with you.”
“I’m sure she wasn’t thrilled about that.”
“I want to get to know you, Hailo,” he replied, changing the subject because we all knew the answer. I wasn’t sympathetic to Maria’s feelings because she chose to stay with the cheating bastard.
“Why? To ease your guilt because we’re now in the same city.”
“To be fair, I’ve always wanted that. I tried to get to know you.”
“I was the secret you kept tucked away. You’d drop in for a few hours, ease your guilt, and go home to your wife and children. A life that I wasn’t allowed to be a part of. Do you know how that feels?”
“Hailo, I.” Trent began to explain, but I cut him off, allowing everything I’d held inside to come out.
“The fucked up part is because my father didn’t choose me, I settled. I took what I could get because that’s all I thought I deserved,” I chuckled, turning my head, and trying to conceal my emotions. I didn’t want Trent to see how much he affected me, but it was inevitable. “I have a husband who loves me. He really loves me, and it’s so hard to let him because genuine love from a man feels so fucking foreign. This voice in my head keeps telling me he’ll leave too because you did. So save that I tried bullshit because you didn’t try hard enough.”
Trent’s mouth opened, but he quickly realized it was nothing he could say to erase the damage he had caused, so he didn’t try. Instead, he led with, “I’m sorry.” That was all he could say as I used the napkin to dab the corners of my eyes.
“Hailo,” My mother finally spoke up.
“It’s okay, Sadie. She doesn’t have to say anything but the door is open, Hailo. I can’t force you, and I don’t want to. Just know that I’m here.”
“I can’t make any promises on what happens next,” I admitted, and my words knocked the wind out of his chest. Trent understood my response, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He nodded and picked up the menu to hide the pain and disappointment of facing his selfish actions.
The rest of our lunch date was awkward. I was emotionally drained and ready to go home to my baby, but I managed to survive. After a shower and a good cry, I snuggled in the bed with Serenity. She was only a month old, but I couldn’t imagine going days or months without seeing her like Trent did.
After dinner, Sadie kidnapped her, claiming she needed to get all her time in before she left. Truthfully, she knew I was in my feelings but far too stubborn to admit it. Now I was lying in bed aimlessly flipping through the channels trying to ignore all the emotions today dug up.
“Hello,” I answered the Facetime call and propped my phone on the pillow because I didn’t have the strength to hold it.
“Umm, look happier to see us when you answer the phone!” Niyomi fussed.
“I bet you she doesn’t look like that when Sky calls,” Denim rolled her eyes because she had never been good at sharing.
“I’m not in the mood for the drama D.”
“What’s wrong, boo?” Niyomi asked.
“I went to lunch with Trent today.”
“Damn, I didn’t have that on my bingo card. How did that go?” Denim bucked her eyes, shocked that I’d even give him the time of day.
“He asked Sadie about me. She has this way of analyzing shit, making you question yourself, so I agreed.”
“What did he say?” Nosey Niyomi asked while brushing her hair.
“It doesn’t matter. What are you guys up to? I miss y’all.”
“We miss you too, baby,” Denim replied for the both of them.
“Not enough because you hoes won’t move,” I smirked, knowing my request was a reach, but I just liked giving them a hard time. “Gi runs the city. It would be nothing to get y’all jobs.”
