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“Um,” Jeff said, “You ok?”
“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” That definitely came out way too fast.
“Do you need some air?” Caitlin asked me, “Maybe some water? Because that was some pretty hard-core eye fucking you two just had going on.”
Jesse had apparently floated back down from his cloud, and even he realized Jamie had mentally checked out of their lap dance and into a different one. He was looking at me, too. I would’ve been lying if I said I wasn’t aware of it. That didn’t mean I wanted to talk about it. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” Deny. Deny and pivot. What could I change the subject to while we were still sitting in a strip club surrounded by nearly naked men? Quickly!
“Hey,” Jesse said calmly, “Chill, Caden. It’s not like it’s a big deal. In case you haven’t noticed, one of your best friends is gay, another is pan, and the straight one doesn’t give a shit. While that lap dance was unbelievably fun, it’s more than clear that while he is interested, I’m not the one at this table he’s interested in.”
“And,” Jeff added, clearing his throat, “In the moment, it kind of seemed like the feeling was mutual. Caden, if you’re gay, or bi, or whatever, it’s ok, bro. You know we’re cool here. And your secret is safe with us, for as long as you need it to be.” He glanced sharply at Caitlin. “Right, Caitlin?”
For once she was completely serious, not an iota of sarcasm or humor on her face. “Of course.”
I looked away from all of them because it was too intense. Memories of French kisses and touches on a back porch on a humid summer night tried to claw their way to the surface, mingling with the memory of the barrel of a gun. I couldn’t. I could not do it. I had to get everything under control. In all my intelligent glory, what came out of my mouth was, “He’s going to be a marine biologist.”
It was the most out of context thing I could have possibly said, but every single one of them just said, “Cool,” and turned their attention back to the stage. Did I really deserve friends like them? Probably not.
He danced on the stage again, moving on that pole like the angel the guys beside us had called him. His set lasted another three songs. He checked to see if we were still there. My traitorous dick let me know I did not, in fact, have things under control like I’d thought. I refused to move from my spot until it was under control.
We shut the place down. I was good and drunk by the end of the night, drinking water like there was no tomorrow because at the rate I was going, there might actually be no tomorrow on the hockey team for me. I never should have gotten so drunk. I could normally bounce back easily, but I’d overdone it and a hangover at a game would not be good.
I’d started to sober up a little bit by the time we exited the club. I wasn’t nauseous, so I counted that a win. We walked out into the parking lot to wait for our Uber, Jesse and Caitlin as giggly as they had been on the way in. I noticed someone, though, hanging out in the shadows, and my hackles rose instantly. “Hey, is that the guy? You guys, is that Weird Wally?”
Caitlin, probably the most sober of our group, looked at me with true concern. “Where?”
I nodded toward the edge of the property, where a man I couldn’t quite make out in the darkness leaned against a brick wall.
“I’m not sure,” she whispered, “but it looks like it could be. Maybe I should go let the bouncer know.” Before she could make a move, though, the man straightened as though something had caught his attention. I looked behind us, over to the few parking spaces at the side of the building. There was a sport bike parked over there, and Jamie was getting ready to get on it.
Caitlin momentarily forgot what we were talking about. “Whoa, he rides a crotch rocket? He just got even hotter.”
Jamie had changed into cargo jeans and a plain white T-shirt. Most of his make-up was gone, and he was holding a helmet, oblivious to all of us. Jeff, probably the only one of our group who wasn’t distracted by Jamie, spoke up warily. “Dude’s watching him.”
Caitlin came back to reality fast. “We have to warn him,” she said, abandoning us and running toward Jamie. He looked up, startled, when she got close to him and called out his stage name, in case, I supposed, someone else was around to hear her.
The three of us were following her, a little hesitantly. I honestly wasn’t sure how he’d feel seeing all of us approach him as he was leaving. His eyes zeroed in on me even as he was listening to Caitlin.
“Ok,” she was rambling, “we saw that guy get kicked out for harassing you earlier, and I found out from the bartender that everyone here hates him, and he once tried to follow you.” She had Jamie’s full attention by that point. We’d reached her and stood beside her, effectively making a barrier that blocked the creepy guy’s view. Caitlin went on, “We’re pretty sure he’s over by that wall, just standing there, and he definitely reacted when you came outside.”
Jamie’s eyes shifted between me and Jeff, trying to make out the dark figure in the distance. “We could be wrong,” Jeff put in, “And we really hope we are, but we wanted to let you know.”
Caitlin glanced back. “He’s definitely backing off a little now that we’re talking to you.” She looked thoughtful. Our Uber pulled up right then.
“We can follow you back to campus if you want,” Jeff suggested, but I could see that Caitlin was hatching a plan that she probably thought would be helpful in several areas but that I was probably going to want to kill her for.
“Or,” she said, and I desperately tried to find a way to shut her up, “Since the Uber is going to be crowded anyway, maybe one of us should just ride with Jamie. Not me, obviously. Someone the guy would be wary of. Someone strong and athletic…” She glanced briefly at Jeff, then her eyes landed on me.
Oh, no. Nuh-uh. There was no way I was riding bitch on the back of a motorcycle with a person who’d just given me a hard-on under the table in a gay strip club. That was not happening. I looked to Jesse for help, but he said, “I’m too glittery to be intimidating. I vote for Caden.”
“I second that,” Jeff said, “He’s much more intimidating than me.” Well that was just a dumb lie. There was nothing about me that was more intimidating than Jeff.
I had to speak up. “Hold up, you guys. Before you go making decisions like this, maybe you should ask Jamie what he wants, first. Who even said he wanted one of us to ride with him?” Right then I prayed. But to be honest, I wasn’t even sure myself what I was praying for him to say, it was just a silent plea. It confused me more than anything.
We all looked at Jamie. He looked at each of my friends, his eyes finally resting on me. Slowly, he held the helmet out to me, almost like he thought I might slap it away. It appeared to be the only helmet he had, a black sporty helmet with a dark face shield and stickers all over it. “I really don’t like that guy,” he said softly, looking at me almost hopefully.
How was I supposed to just leave him to fend for himself after that? My friends had already offered me up. He asked me to ride with him. If something happened after I turned him down, I’d never forgive myself. I glanced around at my friends, then looked back at Jamie. “You wear it,” I said, stepping over to the bike beside him, “I trust you.” Something I couldn’t quite decipher passed through his eyes.
Jesse grinned, “See you back at home, roomie.” Caitlin looked like someone whose evil plan had finally come to fruition, and Jeff couldn’t stop a tiny smirk. The three of them headed over to their ride.
