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“I’m trying not to be mad right now,” he says, his fingers running through his hair.
It’s longer than I’ve ever seen it before, and the tips of my fingers itch to touch the silky strands, but that doesn’t go along with the plan I’ve put in place for my life. Wanting and pining for things I can’t have are no longer a part of my daily routine. Although it’s a work in progress, I remember that speaking the truth is a part of the new me. But I just can’t seem to build the courage to tell him any of it.
“You don’t have the right to be mad about anything,” I say, straightening my spine when really I want to apologize like I normally would.
I don’t like people being mad at me. Before I’d go out of my way to try and change an ill opinion about me, but his anger is not about me at all.
His eyes find mine, and instead of anger, all I see is pain and heartache.
“Adalynn.”
“I love you,” I blurt, resisting the urge to slap my hand over my lips.
His eyes widen, and I don’t give myself enough time to talk myself out of making all my confessions.
Madison urged me to do it weeks ago, but the opportunity never presented itself until now.
“I’ve loved you for years. Not loved you, Cash. I’minlove with you. I pictured us living happily ever after for as long as I can remember. There isn’t another man alive that compares, and I highly doubt there will be, and I—”
“I love you, too.”
“Think that we should—what?”
He shrugs, sadness still in his eyes.
“I love you, too, but I understand if we’ve gotten so far off track that we can’t ever make it back to where we were.”
“Are you dense?” I snap. “I used present tense.Inlove, notwas inlove, insert some mean ultimatum here, Cash. In.”
“Are we fighting about being in love?” he asks, his hands vibrating by his side as he takes a step closer.
“That depends,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly. “Are you going to give me some argument about me deserving better or something?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll pray every day that you never realize you can do so much better than me.”
I shake my head. “That self-deprecating attitude has to go.”
“Gone,” he quickly agrees.
“I’m still pregnant,” I tell him, knowing how easily it can be a deal breaker for him.
“I don’t care who the father is. If given the chance, I’ll raise that baby as my own.”
My heart clenches. “You never wanted kids.”
“A lot of things have changed. I love you.”
The words fall so easily from his tongue. We’ve told each other I love you more times than I can count, but this isn’t the same kind of love we were expressing before.
“Love won’t change how you feel about kids, and I don’t want you to—”
“Being loved by you changes everything, Adalynn.”
I hold a hand up when he takes a step closer. “Wait.”
His eyes drop to my lips, making his intentions very clear, and my body almost takes over once again.
“I need the fairy tale.”
