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Ashley sighed. “A little? Mostly I don’t trust what I’m feeling. I spent a lot of time with a guy who wasn’t there for me or my daughter when we needed it. Who didn’t find me attractive, to be honest. This thing with Dex, it’s that first flush of excitement but it’s not real life. Eventually you have to come down to earth. He gets his charges dismissed and he’s not obliged to volunteer anymore and?—”
“His charges?” Addison frowned. “You think he’s keeping you sweet for his court case?”
Ashley shrugged. “Not that I’m standing between him and the pokey, but I’m supposed to give him a good reference. Once that’s done, why would he stick around?”
The woman looked scandalized, as if Ashley would dare say something so appalling about one of her husband’s teammates. She needed to remember who these people were—friends of Dex.
“This butterfly thing is a lot of trouble for someone so mercenary.”
It was. Ashley felt awful for doubting Dex.
“That’s not really it, or not all of it. He’s young and just finding his feet in the world. I’ve been around the block and looking for a quiet life. Dex doesn’t really equal a quiet life, does he?”
“Maybe not. But if you talked to him about what his intentions are, maybe it can help you figure out yours.”
She wasn’t wrong, but bringing it up made it seem like they had a chance. What if she was jumping the gun, and this was all fun and games for Dex?
Only she saw how he was with her daughter.
Felt how he was with her.
This was as real as it got, and that butterfly-like fluttering in her chest was either excitement or terror—or a crazy combination of both.
33
The pizza party was a hit. Matt the Butterfly Guy had one more fun exercise for the attendees and then it was lights out by 10 p.m.
The kids wanted to sleep in the same room, an alcove set up near one of the butterfly exhibits, and Addison and Isobel said they’d sleep on the south end of the room with the younger ones. Theo, Gunnar, and Hudson set up camp on the other side with the older kids.
Ashley watched as her daughter rolled up her sleeping bag and gathered her belongings. “But don’t you want to stay with me? I was going to let you read on your Kindle.”
Willa rolled her eyes, suddenly appearing much older than nine. “Mom, I’m going to stay with my friends. And I would be reading on my Kindle anyway!”
“I know but?—”
“See you tomorrow, Mom!” And then she was gone.
Addison smiled. “I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise. Maybe enjoy this time for yourself.”
“Lights out!” Matt was wandering around with a flashlight.
Dex arrived back from the bathroom with his toiletry bag. He wore flannel PJ bottoms and a gray Rebels tee, but not even his perfect musculature, woodsy scent, or devastating sex appeal could cheer her.
“Where’s everyone?”
“Apparently they all want to sleep in the other room, closer to the exhibit.”
“Willa too?”
“Yeah, she’s making friends.” Ashley hated that she sounded so glum about it.
“Sucks when they move on, huh?”
“She hasn’t moved on.” She worried her lip. “Has she?”
Dex grinned. “Flying the coop, baby. Had to happen sometime.”
“She’s nine!”
