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Something went through me as I looked at him: a silent howl. He’s breaking up with me. I shook my head, tears already spilling down. “But—Will—”
“I’m sorry. I can’t handle a relationship right now.”
He couldn’t handle it or maybe he really had nofeelings for me. It didn’t matter. It was over.
The air left my lungs, and a sob shook through my throat. His eyes glazed over and he made a movement as though he meant to touch me, but I dodged out of reach.
I shot up from the couch, hopinghe would catch up and apologize or beg me to stay, but I didn’t hear so much as a whimper. The hallway was dark as I glanced behind me. Then I opened the door to bright flashes. I threw my arms in front of my face.
“Ms. Porter!”
A dozen strangers elbowed each other to scream at me, demanding questions and offering me thousands of dollars to sell a story. A violent surge of hatred reared up inside me as I stared at their insistent faces.
“Fuck off!”
There were yells of anger as I stormed down the steps. My shoulder slammed against someone’s camera and his voice rose in outrage.
Good, I thought. Maybe you’ll understand how pissed off I am right now.
They followed me all the way to my car, still clicking away at me.
For a moment, I saw myself yanking on the steering wheel to drive toward Oakland and running over Ben’s body. He’d deserve it.
My mother’s voice rang in my head.
First Ben, now William. You really go through them, don’t you?
I turned the key to my apartment and walked over the ugly carpet. Having no desire to be interrogated by Jessica, I headed straight for my bedroom. I saw a brief image of Luke and Jessica sitting at the kitchen table, standing up when they saw me. A bottle of champagne sat on the table.
“Natalie! We wanted to celebrate—where are you going?”
Oh, God no. Not now.
Jessica took one look at my flushed face. “What happened?”
My eyes darted to Luke, who still had the vestiges of a smile on his face. He fingered a bottle opener.
“We broke up,” I said in a hoarse voice.
My best friend gasped and looked at Luke. “Why?”
I shrugged as if it was a minor inconvenience. “He couldn’t handle it.”
Luke’s eyes were sympathetic, and I felt a sudden rush of anger for him, too. Stop looking at me like I’m a beaten dog.
“He’s under a lot of stress.It’s probably the best thing for now—”
“How the hell would you know?” I snapped.
“Natalie!”
“No!” I looked at both of them, seizing upon something—anything that would make me feel better. “You never even liked him! He dropped everything in Italy and flew to Chicago just to help you.”
“I know,” he said quickly. “I never said I didn’t appreciate it. I’m really sorry, Natalie.”
It wasn’t enough. Will was gone from me and it was all Ben’s fault, but Ben wasn’t here for me to get angry with. Even if I wanted to sue him, how would I ever afford the lawyer fees? How could I prove he’d done anything? Ben would get off scot-free and my life—Will’s life was in shambles.
The dirty apartment only added fuel to my anger. There were crumbs on the floor and I knew she hadn’t vacuumed while I was gone. I looked at her round, blonde face and felt a stab of anger.
