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“Then maybe I should pick you up out front. I parked a ways down the block.”
“I’m good. As long as we’re not walking back to the bookstore.”
“I’ll take you to your front door.”
They didn’t say much as they walked out of the building and down the sidewalk. It was dark, just like the night before, although there were more people around this time. Guests were milling around the building and lingering at their vehicles, chatting with others. Zack could feel the weight of the stares as they ambled down the block.
They climbed into his rental, and he started up the engine. It only took a moment, and the hall was out of sight. He wished the memory of the wedding could be purged from his mind as efficiently. It had affected him far more than he’d thought it would. He didn’t care that his father was moving on and marrying another woman. That wasn’t it at all. It was that Joel Winslow simply couldn’t acknowledge that what he was doing might look tawdry and downright tacky. He could never admit to any flaws or weakness.
Joel was always right in every situation. End of story.
“I don’t know where you live,” Zack admitted as they left campus. “I assume somewhere near the bookstore.”
“I live in the condos on Elm,” Lucy said.
Since the town rarely changed, he knew exactly where she was talking about. They’d been built when he was in high school.
He stopped at a stop sign, and although the way was clear, he didn’t go. He simply sat there, knowing that once again he wouldn’t sleep. His mind was far too active, and it would give him no respite. He could drop Lucy off and go for one of his walks again.
But he didn’t want to be alone.
Another thing he liked about Lucy. She was good at going with the flow.
“I swear to you I’m not always this flaky,” he said. “And I appreciate your patience with me. I’m usually not spontaneous. At all.”
“I know. That’s why I think this might be a good thing for you. It’s okay not to have every moment of your life planned out, Zack. Sometimes you can just let things happen in their own time.”
“You’re very Zen. Were you always like this?”
He didn’t remember either way from when they were back in school.
“My dad says that I’m laid back and easygoing. That I handle stress well. My former employer said that, too, before I came back to town and bought the bookstore. I guess I’m just one of those people that thinks things will work out.”
“Do they? Work out, I mean?”
“Sometimes, although I’m not so laid back that I don’t try and help it all go the way that I want. But when things don’t always work out as I’d planned, I try not to get too upset. Pivot and regroup. That’s my motto. Roll with the punches, if you know what I mean.”
“I had to do that in my job, but I wouldn’t say that I’m good with that in my personal life.”
“Do you want to live your life less planned? Or are you happy being that way? If you are, then that’s how you should be. Screw everyone else. Be what you want to be.”
“I don’t have a clue what I want. That’s the problem.”
“I said it last night, and I’ll say it again. No one is pressuring you but yourself.”
“You’re pretty wise for someone a year younger than me,” Zack teased, finally pulling through the intersection.
“I’ve got you fooled. I’m only good with other people’s problems. I’m crap with my own.”
Zack turned down Elm and then into the condo community.
“I’m on the right there. The one with the daisy flag on the garage.”
He parked in the driveway, turning off the engine.
“We should go to the lake,” he heard himself saying. “I want to take you on a date. We can grill some food, maybe even swim. We’ll have a picnic. What do you say?”
“I say yes. I haven’t been to the lake in years. My parents would take us there every summer. Dad would grill hamburgers and hot dogs on one of those grills, and we’d swim in the lake. I’d get all sunburned and the mosquitoes would get me, too. When I was a kid, summers seemed to only last for a split second and the winters seemed to be forever. Now that I’m older, time just passes quickly every part of the year.”
