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“This.” She waved her hand between the two of us. “I never wanted to get involved with another hockey player. This was meant to be a simple, straightforward arrangement, but it’s gotten out of hand.”
Her words were like a dagger to my chest. This was exactly why I’d been so cautious about telling her how I felt. I knew she wasn’t interested in dating another hockey player, but I’d stupidly opened up to her and kissed her, and now she was running scared.
“It’s my fault,” she continued. “I never should have started this thing with you in the first place.”
The delicate threads holding us together were unraveling, and I didn’t know how to keep them from falling apart.
“Violet, you know I’m not like these other guys that you’re so wary of.”
“Do I?” she replied.
Her words punched me in the gut, but I kept soldiering on, trying to fix whatever was broken between us.
“Yes, you do,” I said, more firmly. “Because I’m not. I know I might have come on too strong, and I know that’s scary after you’ve been hurt so badly. But can’t you see that I will never do that to you. I’m nothing like Jeremy, and I’m nothing like your dad. Forget your rules. We’re perfect for each other.”
She was shaking her head, and while I could tell she was thinking a million things, she didn’t say one of them out loud.
“Please, Violet, talk to me. I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to fix,” she said. “I know our arrangement was meant to end this weekend, but I think it’s best if we call it off now.”
“I’m pretty sure our arrangement ended when we kissed yesterday,” I replied. “Because everything became real.”
“It’s never been real, Reed. It can’t have been.”
“No, Violet. The truth is, it’s never been fake. Not for me.”
Her expression was torn, and evidence of her pain flashed across her face. With the way she was reacting and the vulnerability in her gaze, I knew for sure she had developed feelings for me as well. I thought—hoped—that she would finally believe what I was trying to tell her. But she blinked, and a resolute look entered her eyes. “I wish I could believe you,” she whispered. “But I heard a rumor you couldn’t be trusted. And I think it might have been right.”
“Violet…”
“This is for the best,” she said. “I’m done pretending.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and pushed through the front entrance before heading out into the light snow that was drifting across the parking lot. She never once looked back, and with each step she took, my heart clenched tighter, like it was slowly being crushed by a vice.
I’d messed up. I knew Violet was scared of getting her heart broken again. I’d been though the same thing, and I’d been protecting myself in just the same way since freshman year. But I couldn’t resist telling her how I felt, and it had ruined everything. I usually knew just how to fix things. It was why I enjoyed working on cars. But our relationship wasn’t as simple as a broken engine. And, for once, I didn’t know what to do.
26
VIOLET
I should have known better than to fall for another hockey player. I’d been beating myself up with that same thought all week. Athletes weren’t like us normal people. They lived their lives like they were playing by a different set of rules and all that mattered was winning the game. I should have known better.
No matter how many times I repeated that phrase in my mind, I still jumped back and forth all week about whether I’d done the right thing in breaking things off with Reed. I didn’t want to believe what Jeremy had told me, but I kept coming to the same conclusion. Our fake relationship was all too convenient, and the reasoning Jeremy gave made far too much sense.
His warnings about Reed reminded me exactly why I was so wary of jocks. To them, I would always come in second to their own pride and the game they loved so much. The allure of victory was always their ultimate motivation, and it blinded them to everything else. A relationship built on that was always going to end in disappointment and heartache.
Reed’s words at the ice arena had also hit me hard. I’d already decided to end our relationship early, but the way he’d confirmed he’d do practically anything to win and then suggested I come to the game to watch him beat Jeremy had only solidified the decision in my mind. It made me feel like everything Jeremy had said was true. And it made the thought of dating another hockey player fill me with such a clawing sense of claustrophobia that I’d needed to get out of the arena, out of my fake relationship, and as far away from the feelings I had for Reed as possible.
Even if Reed did harbor some feelings for me too, we’d only known each other a few weeks. Could they really eclipse his hatred for my ex and his determination to defeat him in their upcoming game?
He'd tried to contact me constantly this week, but I’d ignored every call. I didn’t know whether I could believe a single thing that came out of his mouth, and it felt much safer to keep my distance entirely. I couldn’t risk seeing him or even hearing his voice because I knew it would test my resolve to the breaking point. I had to stay strong.
However, reminders of Reed followed me constantly at school. The game and the rivalry between the Devils and the Saints was all anyone talked about. By Friday, I was more aware than ever before of just how much this game meant to the team and everyone else at school. The corridors had been transformed with gold and white streamers hanging from every surface. And if I didn’t already hate Jeremy’s face enough, every wall was plastered with posters of the Saints players, and everywhere I went, there he was, leering back at me.
Even the teachers were excited for the game, some going so far as to wear golden outfits in support. Luke must have been the odd one out. He either forgot his school had such a big game coming up or he was wearing a red tie in protest. Reed had certainly made an impression on him, and I didn’t have the heart to tell my uncle it had all been a big, fat lie.
When the school day ended on Friday, I was relieved to escape beyond the walls that were practically bursting with school spirit. Mia had a debate meet tonight, so I walked to my car alone once the final bell rang. As I reached Betty, I noticed a tall figure leaning against her. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was a Darling Devil, just not the one I might have expected.
