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That settled in Wren’s chest, and he didn’t quite feel hope, but he felt something. And along with whatever that nameless emotion was, he also felt ready to be himself—everyone else’s opinions on him be damned.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lila’s hand was both sweaty and sticky, clenched firmly in his own. He filed that quickly in the column that listed all the reasons to not ever be a parent because kids had no boundaries, and God only knew what was on her hand and where she was going to put it next. But in spite of that, he was grateful to have her.
Penny decided to get her hair done, but Percy half suspected she’d made it up. She’d taken one look at his face and asked him to babysit. The one thing Penny was good at was spotting when he was on the edge and needed something to distract him.
Which was most definitely now.
After the text from Wren had come through, Percy forced himself to attend his ASL class, but seeing one of Wren’s best friends up there was like being gutted with red-hot pokers. He did his best not to shut down, but Luke actually pulled him aside after and asked if he was okay.
‘Fine,’ he’d managed without his hands shaking too much. ‘A lot happening.’ He was pretty sure he wasn’t using proper ASL, but Luke didn’t berate him this time. He just clapped one of his massive hands on Percy’s shoulder and squeezed until Percy was barely holding back tears.
He thought about texting Derek and going for a nice, sloppy piss-up, but Derek wasn’t overly sympathetic about Percy’s predicament. He’d been kind in the restaurant and kind on the ride home after when Percy explained about the text Wren had sent. But then he’d just gone on a rant about how it was better that Percy knew now and that Wren was a fuckboy and would never change.
Percy couldn’t bring himself to believe that last bit. Something about Wren’s text felt strange and off, but he had no idea why or how. And considering Wren made it obvious he was cutting any last threads that tied them together, he also had no right to ask.
Derek was right that it was better to know now, but it didn’t really matter. Percy had given his heart away, and Wren had done the one thing he’d promised Percy he was going to do: be careless with it.
So, he turned to his sister, who fobbed her child off on him, and now he was on campus, walking around the planetarium, hoping that Lila would be interested without him having the lexicon big enough to explain science things. And it wasn’t entirely a sign language problem either. He’d never paid attention during his astronomy lessons, and he was praying to God Lila didn’t grow up and want to be an astronaut.
He felt a tug on his hand, and he looked down into Lila’s wide eyes. Forming a Y with his free hand, he tapped it on his chin. ‘What’s wrong?’
Lila dislodged her grip on him. ‘Sign.’ Her little hands twirled around each other, and then she pointed across the corridor to the doors of the dome theater, where a man was standing. He had a badge on, which meant he was probably some kind of guard.
‘I don’t understand,’ Percy signed back.
Lila stomped her foot, then turned and ran toward the stranger. Panic rushed through Percy’s chest as he followed her, but before she could barrel past the guy, she came to a halt and gave him a toothy grin.
The guy was very tall, with light brown skin and a few tattoos visible beneath the hem of his short polo, and he had long dark curls pulled back in a low ponytail that hung between his shoulder blades. He was incredibly attractive, but Percy only noticed that the way he’d notice how someone’s jeans fit or how shapely their abs were. It was all aesthetic, and the rest was numb.
Fuck, had Wren broken him?
Before Percy could spiral, the guy knelt down and lifted his hands, flowing into better ASL than Percy could ever hope to use. ‘Hi. I’m K H A I.’ He spelled his name slow enough that Percy could mouth along. ‘You want to see the show?’
Lila turned an imploring gaze on Percy. ‘Please?’
Percy cleared his throat and lifted his hands. ‘Interpreter?’
Khai nodded his fist. ‘I’m an interpreter. I saw you signing. Both Deaf?’
Percy shook his head. ‘Just her. I’m hearing. This is my niece.’ He signed slowly, feeling something like triumph in his chest because he was doing it. He was following along and understanding and responding, and it was…it was good.
Then, the feeling crashed because the first person he wanted to show was Wren. And that was over.
‘Happy to help,’ Khai signed.
He swallowed heavily, then managed a smile. ‘Thank you.’
Khai waved him off, then gestured for Lila to head inside, and Percy followed them behind. The domed theater smelled faintly of weed and body spray, and there were only a handful of people there. The insulation in the room muted sounds, but Lila was whooping happily and loudly with her excitement, which was drawing attention.
Normally, Percy might have shied away from it—tried to shush her just to avoid stares. Now, he glowered back, daring them to say anything and ruin his niece’s happiness. He wanted her to exist loudly and proudly. He never, ever wanted her to feel shame about anything. Ever.
The feeling was almost overwhelming, and he had to swallow it back because he knew this was just a symptom of his insides cracking—preparing to shatter when he let it hit him that he’d somehow fucked up.
Or he wasn’t enough.
That he was worth dropping the moment Wren realized the promises he’d made were too heavy to keep.
