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I wantShawn’s family to adopt me every Christmas.
They’re loud and they’re funny and there’s so muchlovein their house.
The kitchen isn’t a big space—it can barely hold all eight adults—but it’s brimming with joy and cheer.
Wine glasses get passed around. There’s laughter and stories from holidays past. Kids dart between people’s legs, and I think I spot a cat, too.
Shawn keeps me close to him, his arm around my shoulder and his side pressed against mine. He’s my buoy. When the conversation turns a little too personal, a little too inquisitive about our relationship timeline and what our plans are for the future, he pulls me back in, a sturdy sureness keeping me afloat.
“Want another drink?” he asks as he taps the inside of my wrist, and I shake my head.
“No, thank you. One more before dinner, and I won’t make it through the meal,” I say. “And I’m going to destroy the lasagna your mom made.”
“I’d take care of you, you know,” he says soft in my ear. “I’d make sure you were alright.”
“I know.” I twist the fabric of his sweater in my hand and nod. “You’d probably wash my hair and put me to bed, too.”
“I would. I’d also tuck you in and leave you a glass of water. You’re safe with me, Lacey girl,” he says, and he presses his lips to my cheek in a kiss that ignites a flame of desire before walking away.
It almost sounds like a dream, but I know Shawn would take care of me. He’d keep an eye on me until morning, and that makes my heart sing.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since he came over to my apartment two nights ago and bent me over the couch. Since he asked me what about our arrangement felt fake and held my hand for half the drive here.
Nothing about it feels fake.
It hasn’t for a while now.
“Hey.” Katelin and Amanda, Shawn’s sisters, slide up next to me, and I blink out of my trance.
“Hi.” I set my glass down and smile. “Is it time for the sister interrogation?”
“God, no,” Katelin says.
“The fewer details we know about our brother’s personal life, the better,” Amanda adds. “We just wanted to say hi.”
“Oh. Well, hi. I’m so glad I get to be here with you all. It’s only been a few hours, but I already feel so welcomed by your family. I’m so happy.”
“Us, too,” Katelin agrees. “When the video of you two kissing at the game went viral, we were worried. We didn’t know if it was staged or something Shawn got dragged into doing. But it’s so obvious you two care a lot about each other. God, the way he looks at you is how my husband looked at me the first year of our relationship. Now I have to snap my fingers to get him to pay attention to me.”
I laugh. “Shawn is…”
Greatisn’t sufficient.
Neither iswonderful.
I’m not sure there’s a word out there that’s big and vast enough to describe howperfecthe is.
“I’m lucky,” is what I settle on, because I am.
It’s getting harder and harder to understand I’m going to have to walk away from him. There are only nine days left until the New Year, and I intend to spend every single one of them with him.
When the clock strikes midnight, I’ll look back and be happy about what we shared. I won’t let myself be sad but grateful to have learned so much more about my best friend. For all the little moments and the big ones, too.
“Brought you a snack,” Shawn says, reappearing by my side. He sets a napkin in my hand and rubs my shoulders. “That should hold you over until dinner.”
I smile at the bunch of grapes and pull one off the stem, popping it in my mouth. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, doll face.”
