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“I figured he was just trying to scare me. He thought I was working with Danny and took some of their money. I didn’t, so why did I have to walk around like I was guilty? I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared.”
“Scared?”
“Things are so good between us. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Why would that problem ruin anything?”
“I don’t know.”
He squatted beside the bed, running his thumb over mine. When he kissed my hand and I felt a teardrop fall onto my skin, my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. I hadn’t meant to upset him, but my issues with feeling like a burden were becoming a rift between us.
“What am I doing wrong, baby?” His voice cracked. “To make you think you couldn’t tell me.”
I had to let the past go. If I didn’t, I’d continue to make mistakes, thinking I had no one to confide in. I had Hudson, and I didn’t think he saw me as a burden.
I squeezed his hand once. “Maybe it would help you understand me if I told you about my family,” I said. “My reasoning for not telling you had nothing to do with you. It’s my own problem. I feel like a bad person if I ask people for help. Growing up, I watched my family use the only person to take care of me and my brother. My gran’s screen door is so vivid in my memories because I can remember how busy her trailer stayed. How often people were in and out, asking for money and things she didn’t have. Now, I’m scared of taking advantage of you the same way I loathed seeing Grand being used.”
His jaw tightened. “You’renotyour family, Eugene. No one would ever think you’d use someone. You’d suffer before asking for anything. The worst thing that could have happened, happened because of that. I want you to come to me, for anything, because you’re my family.”
My heart raced. He called me his family.
“I didn’t want to be a pain,” I admitted.
“You’re not a pain. That’s what I’m fucking here for. To take care of you. So let me, Eugene.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
“I’d never see you that way. Why do you speak about yourself this way?Whomade you doubt your worth?” His voice sharpened as his brows furrowed. “I never said anything because I didn’t want to pry, but I noticed your reaction when Max tracked mud in the house. You flinched when I stepped near you in the shower, like I might hurt you. You haven’t done it lately. But I noticed how fearful you were in the beginning if you made the littlest mistake.”
Hudson noticed. Feeling lightheaded, my head swayed, and my stomach twisted in knots.
“It’s okay, Eugene,” Hudson murmured. “I’m sorry, baby. Forget I said anything. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” He kissed my knuckles suddenly. “You’ve got me hooked around these tiny fingers. I’m going to do better, so you’ll understand my shoulders are yours to rely on.”
My chest tightened when I felt his hand shaking.
“His name was Jared,” I said. “Just an ex who liked being mean if the house wasn’t clean enough for him. I just don’t like talking about him because I’m embarrassed that I let someone treat me that way.”
Hudson’s eyes were glassy as he swallowed, then he shut them. “Oh, God. Is that why you think you need to clean up after us?”
“No,” I blurted, then winced as pain sliced through my head. “Well, it might be a habit out of fear, but I truthfully like washing the dishes and things. You cook for us, so I want to do something in return.”
“You. Are. Not. A. Burden.” He placed a kiss on my hand between each word. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
Those three little words from him had my heart soaring.
“I love you, too,” I said, and we both cried. “Please don’t be mad. I’m going to work on my issues about feeling like a burden.”
“Don’t apologize. Never apologize to me. I’m not mad, just upset that all these people from your past made you feel like you couldn’t come to me. From now on, you’re going to tell me when something’s wrong.”
“I will,” I promised.
“Do you need pain meds?”
“Yes, and I got to pee.”
