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“He’s never there!”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to go there now.” Her head lifted, red, puffy eyes stared at me. I smiled. “Let’s go back into the living room with Bubby.” She nodded and let me carry her. “What do you want to eat?”
“Pancakes?” She shrugged hesitantly.
“At seven in the evening? Sounds good to me!”
_____
“It’s dark out now,” Lucy whispered as she stared out the window.
“It’s close to bedtime now,” I told her as I nursed Eli.
“When are we going to Elijah’s?” She asked for the hundredth time. “He’s waiting on us.”
“Let’s give him a break.” I wasn’t feeling too good about the way I’d treated him. The more I replayed it in my head, the more I liked that he just stepped in. Lilly was the one being ridiculous. Every harsh word Elijah said was the truth. And Lucy… She never once spoke of being upset with him. The only thing she was worried about was going to his house.
Oh, fudge. I was emotional and stressed. I just wanted Elijah to make it all better, even though I was the one to cause the situation. I let my anxiety and worry over Lilly seep in and ruin the happiness I’d felt with that man.
That had to stop. I had to stop letting Scott destroy our lives. He had no right.
“Why do you want to go over to his house?” I asked Lucy.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just like when Elijah’s with us.”
“Lucy, why do you like Elijah so much?”
“He buys me stuff.”
I chuckled. “You’re rotten.”
“Can we go now?” She grabbed my arm and pulled. “I’m going to tell him you’ve been crying.” She dropped my arm. “Give me your phone. I’m calling and telling him.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?” I asked her with a smirk.
“No. It’s to make you stop crying. Elijah will stop the tears.”
I didn’t even question my four-year-old. She was right.
“Go put on some pj’s while I change Bubby.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Are we going to Elijah’s?”
How could I be so foolish to let one confrontation make me feel so terrible? Look how happy Lucy was… We were all happier when I was with Elijah.
“Yeah, we are.”
She jumped up and down. Unease coursed through my body as I changed Eli. I didn’t bother to change my clothes. All I could think about was how Elijah must have felt when I abruptly pulled away the first time something bad happened.
I was ashamed, and the need to cry was present all over again.
I held Lucy’s hand on the way since it was dark out. I probably should have told him we were coming over but just getting us all together again was all that mattered in the end.
My knuckles tapped on the door twice before I dropped my hand to my side and gripped Lucy’s hand again. Nervous jitters swam in my stomach when I heard his giant footsteps nearing the door.
Our eyes met the second he opened the door, and in the process, all my anger seemed childish and absurd. The few short hours I’d spent away from Elijah felt like a lifetime, and seeing him then… His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and drank me in, like he was surprised and happy I came that night. That was all it took for the tears to spring from my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I croaked out right before his big, comforting arms enclosed around Eli and me.
“Thank fuck. I was on my way out. Was going to break in if I had to. You expected me to sleep alone now when I’m so used to being next to you?” His mouth was hot at my ear and his voice was a raspy whisper, making my skin tingle and burn as I pressed my wet face into his shoulder. Eli babbled incoherently as he pulled at Elijah’s shirt.
