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“Don’t,” I uttered and pinched the bridge of my nose before sighing. “I told her I was her friend. A while back she asked me if I was being nice just to get into her pants. I told her no, but every time I saw her in the parking lot, I grew a little more attracted to her. So when she asked that, I was afraid to admit the truth—that I was really fucking into her. Hadley was finally letting me talk to them without running away. I didn’t want to screw it up. Don’t get me wrong, being her friend is really fucking easy, but I am into the mom.” I paused and took another deep breath. “Fuck. That makes me an asshole, doesn’t it? I don’t act on my emotions, but I like the way she makes me feel without having to touch her at all…” But to touch her… My body shuddered from the thought alone.
Wendy gawked at me with her wide eyes and mouth agape. “Wow… How long have you been holding that in? I swear you’re fighting it. One second you’re denying you like her and in the next you do a one-eighty. It sounds like you’re still coming to grips with your feelings.”
“Dude, we heard all that,” Waldo stared over at me.
Rubbing my forehead, I ignored everything that just happened. “That was a lapse in my sanity.”
“No point in denying it now,” Jim hollered across the room.
“Agreed,” Lance murmured.
“You know what? I’m going back to ignoring the fact that I have the hots for the mom. Did you hear me say anything, Waldo?”
He turned away. “Nope. Notta thing.”
“Wendy?” I asked.
“Don’t be an idiot. Let her know.” Instead of responding, I glared at her. Wendy held up her hands and stood. “I didn’t hear a thing.”
_______
It had been three long, torturous days since I’d last seen Hadley and the kids. That was how many days Hadley had been off, with no reason to aggravate me when I wished she would. I didn’t even hear from Lucy, who I thought for sure would have asked me to come and watch a movie. To do something. Anything. But nothing. Not even a text. I sent Hadley one asking if she needed anything, and the answer was always no, but thanks. Slowly, I realized that Hadley didn’t like to ask for help. When she did, she preferred sticking with those closest to her.
Problem was, I wanted to be closer to them. They could use me as much as they wanted. I didn’t care to be the chauffeur or anything as long as I got to be around them. It was after work Friday evening when I finally saw them.
I nearly exited my truck without shutting off the motor. The three of them were in the small, apartment playground. I was glad to see the young boys that normally hovered were gone, but I was even happier with the chance to see Hadley and the kids.
I strode over toward them slowly, reeling myself in. Didn’t want to give away how thrilled I was to see them. “Elijah!” Lucy screamed, and I smiled. That’s right, Lucy. I’m your Elijah. Even the way she said my name was adorable. “I missed you!”
She ran, so I held my arms out for her as she jumped. I was a tall person yet she almost reached my hips with that leap. She was a great jumper. “If you missed me, then why haven’t you called me over?” I asked as she wrapped her arms around my neck and giggled.
She shrugged, peeking back at Hadley who watched us. “I wanted to, but Mommy said we shouldn’t aggravate you so much.”
I knew it. I pinned Hadley with a scowl and spoke loud enough for her to hear me. “You’re never a bother to me, Lucy. You or your mom. Call me whenever you want. If you need me, I’ll be there. No matter what.” I knew words like this could potentially be very important to a four-year-old, but I wouldn’t have said them if they weren’t true.
But this made Lucy sad. Her usual smile turned into a pout. “Promise?”
I tugged at her ponytail and smiled. “Never doubt me.”
Her smile returned as she laid her head across my shoulder and hugged me softly. My chest squeezed tight until I almost felt like I was choking. She wasn’t choking me, but her hug made me feel all closed up inside. “Do you want to watch a movie tonight?” she whispered.
“Yeah. I’d love that, actually.”
“Mom?” She turned her head and spoke to Hadley. “Elijah wants to watch a movie with us.”
She frowned. “Lucy, you know we’re out here waiting on your dad.”
Those words were like a bucket of ice thrown over me. It never bothered me before. I never really thought about Lucy’s dad until now. It kind of hit me—the sad truth of it all. As much as I adored the chatty child in my arms she wasn’t mine. I didn’t even recognize the resentment in me burning over that fact. I couldn’t stand it. Being honest, I was nothing to Lucy while someone else was. Somehow, that sobering thought was devastating. And there was no one I could admit it to because it made little sense to me. Life wasn’t fair.
Lucy’s smile drooped, and I saw her unhappiness. The way she hid her eyes, gaze falling to the ground. I didn’t think she even wanted to go. I glanced at Hadley holding Eli. Her features were tight, withdrawn as she bounced him. They were all sad. Why would she let them go if she didn’t want them to?
Lucy jumped down and walked over to her Mom. Instead of going to play, she plopped down beside her on the bench and sighed. Hadley smiled and patted her back. “It’s only for tonight. You can’t stay longer than that. I can’t have my birthday without you.”
Lucy perked up. “I want cake!”
Hadley chuckled. “I’ll buy one.”
“Who buys themselves a cake for their birthday?” I interrupted, making my way toward them.
