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Chapter Thirty
Elijah
I was a fucking goner.
I knew I was a poor helpless fool when it came to Hadley. But now I was a total never-going-back-to-the-way-I-was type of goner. Touching Hadley… Tasting her… I couldn’t believe she’d given me that kind of permission.
Hadley and her family consumed my thoughts. All I wanted to do was be around them.
I stayed up until two talking and laughing with Hadley before she finally dozed off with Eli between us. Her blonde hair was loose and spilled all over the pillow and bedcovers as she smiled at Eli and spoke to him and me. I was mesmerized further after I knew how she felt and tasted. How right her body was draped across or beneath mine.
I was wild about her, fully dedicated to her and Lucy and the chubby butterball between us.
I hadn’t missed the way Hadley’s eyes darted nervously over to the door every so often before she finally slept. She worried about Lucy waking and seeing me. I wouldn’t let her nervous energy scare me away though. I knew what I was getting into, and I wanted it even more because of it. Once Hadley saw that I wasn’t going anywhere, ever, I hoped that she wouldn’t hide me from Lucy.
I didn’t just want Hadley. I wanted all three of them.
I awakened stiff and cramped a few hours later. Terrified of rolling over onto Eli, I didn’t budge an inch. Something strange happened when I looked at him. My world came full circle and showed me what I was missing.
Hadley sighed drowsily and swatted at her clock on her nightstand, catching my attention. It was cute how her eyes blinked as she looked toward Eli with a tender expression. Then they widened when she realized I was still there.
Yeah… I wanted more moments like that.
After dropping Lucy and Eli off at her parents and driving Hadley to work, I came home and the same thought replayed in my head until it was time to head to the parlor.
I wanted it.
At work, I tattooed and joked around. But every thought I had was of Hadley and me and everything in between.
I wanted it.
I left work an hour early to pick up Hadley from work. When I saw her walking out the entrance in a pair of dark gray The Flintstones scrubs, my world tilted on its axis. I swallowed my tongue as her gaze landed on mine. Shyly, she lifted her hand and waved, something she had never done before. Which meant she was still carrying around that nervous energy.
Fucking shit. I was too.
That cute, messy bun wrapped atop her head was doing shit to my brain. I thought about removing the band and watching her silky strands tumble across her shoulders as I bent her over and—
I leaned across the console and opened the passenger door before she did.
“Hey.” She sounded a little breathy as she jumped in.
“How are you even more beautiful than when I dropped you off this morning?” I asked her seriously.
She blushed as she buckled up. “Stop. I didn’t even feel like doing anything to my face this morning I was so tired.”
“I’m a little upset that it wasn’t because of me.” Eli took all the credit for that. She laughed. I reached out and grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers as I pulled out of the parking lot.
“Elijah.” I didn’t like the tone of her voice. It gave me something akin to heartburn. I never thought about what would happen if she regretted last night. What if she pulled away completely? No Hadley. No Lucy. No Eli.
I forgot how to breathe while my heart momentarily stopped at the idea of her…
This had to be what dying felt like. The idea of losing what wasn’t mine in the first place.
“Don’t,” I said, holding her hand more firmly in mine. “Don’t look or sound regretful. I know you’re a mom, and you’ve got plenty of shit to worry about. I’m going to be here. With your kids. Even if it means I never get to take you out on a first date alone, I want to be here with you.”
My chest grew tight as she pulled her hand out of mine. “Lucy really likes you. I just don’t want to ruin that friendship she has with you and what you have with us. I’m scared.” I glanced over at her and saw the glassy look in her eyes. “I’m scared of losing our friend Elijah when things go south.”
I grabbed her hand again, unable to bear her fears screaming at me. “Why can’t I be both? I can be everything you need. As far as things going south? That will never happen.”
