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“Hold on.Wait. What do you mean you taught that guy a lesson?”
Memories of the coffee shop encounter replay in my mind. I remember how Noah left not long after he punched the guy. Icy cold horror fills me. I almost don’t want to know.
“What did you do, Noah?”
That goddamn shrug of indifference is enough to make me want to punch him in the face right now as he removes his hand from my throat. My heart is going to flatline at the speed of its beat as I conjure up possibilities of what he did and how far he went.
“He learned what consequences are. Nobody speaks to you like that and gets to live,” he says.
“You k-killed him?” My voice is high-pitched in shock.
“I’d call it making the world a better place.”
I can’t believe he’s so casual about this. What am I talking about? Of course, he is. This is my fault. I knew who he was, but ignored the repercussions. Because of me, another person is dead. I mean, fucking hell, he already knifed Wade.
The need to run takes over and I try to get out of the car, but the damn lock is preventing me from leaving. As I look down, damp spots appear on my pants and my face feels wet. I’m crying. Fucking hell, this is a nightmare.
“I’m not letting you leave, Chase. You’re mine. You said so yourself. You didn’t seem that upset about what I did to Wade, so I’m not sure why what I did to that nobody bothers you.”
“You. Killed. Someone!” I scream at the man who is looking at me like I’m the one with the problem. Utter confusion of my breakdown marring his handsome face. He’s not human, he’s a fucking robot.
“How can I be okay with that? How can you be okay with this? You’re a murderer!” I sob. The guilt of what happened feels like being pulled down into a swamp. I have no wiggle room. No options but to drown.
Noah turns on the engine, and without talking to me he drives us back to my house, leaving my car behind. I’m too numb to care. He parks on my driveway and switches the engine off.
“I need my car. I have to get to work,” I say without any feeling.
He storms out of the car, angrily yanking my door open and pulls me out.
“We’ll talk about this inside. You’re not going anywhere in this state.”
I hopelessly get out, not arguing. Work is the second to last place I want to be right now. The last spot firmly held by being locked in my own house with Noah.
“So what? Are you going to keep me prisoner in my own home?” I say as we walk inside the house. Door slamming behind us.
“No. But you need to stay here until you calm down and start to think more clearly.”
I can’t help the hysterical laugh that leaves me, sounding like a damn hyena.
“Think clearly? I am thinking clearly because I’m human. With normal human feelings and normal human morals.”
We haven’t moved from the hallway, and with speed I didn’t know he possessed, he slams me hard against the front door, pinning me in with his muscular body. His hands are placed on either side of my head as he lowers his face to meet mine. The green of his eyes are like neon, screaming danger. Screaming to me that he’s out of control.
“Stop with the holier than thou bullshit. You’re a therapist, Chase. You’re trained to spot the signs, and you did with me on the first day. But it didn’t stop you from wanting me. When I hurt poor little Wade, it still didn't stop you taking my dick like the perfect little whore you are. When I punched that asshole, it didn’t stop you from letting me take that hot body. It didn’t stop you from begging me to fuck you harder.”
“N-no. It wasn’t like that. You’ve brainwashed me!”
He laughs and leans in more until our foreheads touch. His skin is all warm, giving me comfort I don’t want, especially from him. He killed someone!
“Even after you found out that I watched you sleep every night. That I came on you while you slept. That I hurt your brother. Youstillinvited me into your home and bed, baby. And if that makes me the psycho, what does that make you?”
I still at his words. I have nothing to say to that because, shit, he’s right, what does that make me? A masochist? A selfish horny asshole? Not holding myself accountable that I did continue this ‘thing’ between us with all the red flags ablaze in front of me. But I dove in head first, because I couldn’t stop myself.
“I’ve given you nothing but what you wanted, despite all that you knew I’d done. You still wanted me, Chase. You craved me as much as I crave you. You need me, baby. Like I need you. To protect you. To fuck you. To complete you. You may not be like me when it comes to dealing with life, but you secretly love the thrill of my darkness, baby. That's why you were drawn to theshadows. You get a kick out of it. It excites you. It turns you on knowing that I would burn down the world for you. That I’m watching you at all times. You love it, Chase.”
No, no he’s wrong. I can’t love it. I can’t … but, my heart, my fucking heart! It needs him to beat. Noah was the one to revive it. My head is loud with noise and conflicting emotions, arguing back and forth as if I’m two different people. Which I guess I am. The Chase from a couple of months ago has left.
“No, no. I-I can’t do this. You need help. I need help. Please leave me, please just make it stop,” I cry, begging him to cut this connection so I can bleed out and build myself back together.
