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“I’m fine.”
I grab my ball once it comes back to me, then walk up to my lane, determined to hit the pins this time. I stare at the pins for a long time like that will somehow make the ball go straight, then I roll it. It does the exact same thing as last time, and I once again get no pins down.
The next few rounds go by with me getting either gutter balls or one pin down and Payton getting all spares. She must feel bad because she eventually stands up with me when it’s my turn again.
“Do you want some help?” she asks.
I notice her question is free from any sarcasm or teasing. It’s completely genuine.
I nod and laugh. “You can try.”
Payton steps up beside me. “I’m no expert, but I can at least teach you what I’ve been taught. It’s apparently all in the wrist and the follow through. You want to keep your wrist straight the whole time, and when you let go of the ball, point where you want it to go.”
I follow her directions, and my ball still ends up in the gutter. When I grab it once again, Payton points to it. “Can… Can I help?”
When I nod, she closes the space between us and puts her hand on top of mine. An electric current seems to zip from where our hands are touching through my entire body. I freeze because my body feels so uncomfortable. So on edge. It’s absolute perfection and I don’t want the feeling to ever go away. I want to find an excuse to make it last longer. I want a reason for her hand to stay right where it’s at.
Clearly, Payton takes my silence the wrong way because she rips her hand away from mine, immediately making me feel like I lost a part of my own body. “I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No!” I say much louder than I mean to. “Please. Don’t stop.” I clear my throat and force out a laugh. “I clearly need help.”
Payton puts her hand back over mine and all of the sensations from earlier return. Every single spot our skin touches feels like a pinprick, but in a good way. I try not to think about what that means. I try not to consider the fact that this is the first time my body has reacted this much to someone else. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.
“So, what now?” I ask, surprised I’m even able to find my voice.
“We slowly bring it back.” Payton helps my arm move backward. “Then we let go.”
Her touch makes me lose all control and letting go turns into chucking the ball much harder than I mean to. I watch as it barrels down the lane so fast I almost can’t follow it with my eyes. It at least hits three pins this time, which is a step up from any of my other turns.
“That was great!” Payton says, sounding genuinely excited. “Maybe next time don’t throw it so hard though.”
“Can you help me again?” I ask softly. I really hope I’m not making it obvious how much I want her to touch me again. Shit. I'm such a creep.
“Of course. I’d love to.” The crack in Payton’s voice tells me that she’s feeling exactly what I am, but I don’t want to assume that’s the case. I don’t even know if she likes girls, let alone me.
This time when we let go of the ball more slowly, it actually makes its way down the center of the lane. All but one pin is knocked down. I jump in the air and pump my fist. It might be an overreaction for a game of bowling, but I can’t help it.
Much to my surprise, Payton appears to be just as excited. She even wraps me up in a tight hug. This hug. Oh my god. If I thought my body was reacting to her before, this is like that reaction on steroids. I know I should let go, but I don’t want to. Payton isn’t in a hurry either, so we stay like this for much longer than what’s considered normal.
When I pull away, Payton looks at me with wide, worried eyes as if she was just caught by her parents doing something she shouldn’t. She rubs the back of her neck and looks toward the floor. “Sorry. I might have gotten a little too excited there.”
“I think we both did.” I look at the score that is completely lopsided. “Obviously, I’m not coming back at this point, so you should probably start thinking about what dessert you want.”
“I actually already started thinking about it, no offense. I literally eat dessert all the time because of work. I’m craving something salty. How would you feel about going somewhere for chips and dip?”
“I feel like I’m not really the loser because that sounds like a great idea.”
***
After my unsurprising loss, we head to a small Mexican restaurant in town that’s known to have the best guacamole and queso dip. As I dip into both and shove the loaded chip into my mouth, I question whether to say what I’m thinking.
“So, they’re predicting we’re going to do pretty well in the playoffs.” Okay, apparently I am going to say it. “I know some games will be too far to drive to and you might be scheduled to work or not even want to go because Capital Creek isn’t even your school.”
“Are you trying to ask me if I’ll come to your games?” Payton asks before I can get it out. All I can do is nod in response, but her smile is wide now. “I’d love to. I’ll ask Mrs. Fairfield if I can have those days off once you find out when they are. I think she owes both of us for how much we currently work. Plus, I can always ask Eli to work for me.” She takes a deep breath since she’s talking so fast. “Also, don’t worry about the distance. I don’t mind driving. If you want me there, I’ll be there.”
“I want you there. I definitely want you there.”
“Then I’ll be there.”
