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“Payton’s tough. She’s shaken up right now, but she’ll be okay.”
“She’s lucky to have you.”
I’m not sure what to say to that, so I ask, “Do you want me to come back to work?”
“That’s okay. We’re good here. I’ll see you this weekend.”
Later that night, I call Payton, and I’m happy to hear that it sounds like she’s doing much better than earlier. I don’t keep her long and don’t say anything about our almost kiss because I know she’s tired.
The next day at school though, she’s all I can think about. We text all day and she’s insistent that she’s okay, but I’m still worried about her. I need to see her. I want to see that smile. Truthfully, I also want to see if maybe we can continue what almost happened last night. We’ll see. I don’t want to push anything.
Since I know she doesn’t work, I decide to surprise her by coming to her house after school with a jar of pickles. I pick up the pickles and a ribbon then drive to her house. Before getting out of my car, I tie the ribbon around the jar of pickles for her.
I walk up the sidewalk and take a deep breath before knocking on the door. Payton’s mom opens the door and greets me with a warm smile. “Marjorie! It’s great to see you. Does Payton know you’re coming? She’s not home yet. She had to make a few stops after school.”
“She doesn’t know.” I hold up the pickle jar. “I wanted to surprise her. I thought this would make her smile.”
“That’s so sweet.” Her mom brings her hand to her chest and for a moment, I think she’s about to cry. “She shouldn’t be too long. If you don’t have anywhere to be, you can come in and wait for her.”
“That would be great.” I walk through the doorway and wait there.
“Do you want a drink or a snack or anything?” Payton’s mom asks.
“I’m okay. Thank you, though.”
“I’d love to talk more and get to know you better, but I actually have to run out and grab a few groceries. I’m so sorry. I’ll take you to Payton’s room. She has a TV and a ton of books up there, so it shouldn’t be hard to keep yourself entertained until she gets home.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
I follow her mom up the stairs and down the hall. Her mom opens the door then says something before walking away, but I don’t hear it because I’m mesmerized by Payton’s room. It’s so very her, which means it’s perfect. The walls are such a light blue, they almost appear white. Unlike my room, there aren’t any posters or pictures on the wall. The only things on the wall are two whiteboards above her desk. One is a calendar and the other is a to-do list. The calendar has her work schedule written out on it.
I sit on her bed, surrounded by pillows that smell just like her and try to watch TV. When I realize I’m too jittery for that, I walk up to her packed bookshelf to see what books she has. Much to my surprise, she has a whole section of lgbtq+ books. I run my hands over the spines until I land on a sapphic young adult book by Morgan Lee Miller that I’ve been meaning to read. When I go to pull it out, a notebook falls out with it. I bend down to pick it up so I can put it back, but when I do, I notice some loose pieces of paper have fallen out of it.
Only, they aren’t just any papers. This is notebook paper from my notebook with my handwriting. It hits me like a direct punch to the gut. I haven’t been falling for two people. I’ve been falling for just one person… one person who has been lying to me this whole time.
Chapter 29
*Love Interest*
“So, what should I say?” I ask Delilah as I sit on her bed and hold one of her pillows close to my chest.
Normally, I’d be having this conversation with Bug, but since he’s working tonight, Delilah is the one that gets subjected to it.
Delilah sits down beside me and pulls the pillow out of my death grip. “Just tell her the truth. When you started writing her the notes, you guys didn’t talk much, and once she started opening up to you, you wanted to tell her, but she said she didn’t want to know.”
I nod slowly. “And I really want to kiss her, but it doesn’t feel right without telling her the truth first. And I’ll let her know that I never expected it to get to this point. Never in a million years did I ever think there was a chance Marjorie Madden would like me back.”
“She’s going to be really happy it’s you. It might take her a bit to get there, though, so just be ready for that. She’ll probably be confused and a little bit hurt, but she’ll get past it. I’m sure she’s just going to be happy that she hears it from you and doesn’t find out some other way.”
“Oh yeah. That would be terrible.” I laugh, but even the thought of that makes me sick. Bug could have been caught leaving a note on Marjorie’s locker at any point and I would have been completely busted. I’m lucky it didn’t come to that. I’m relieved she gets to hear it straight from my mouth.
I text Marjorie right away to see if she has any free time to get together so I can tell her tonight. I don’t want to wait any longer, especially after we almost kissed yesterday. She doesn’t text back right away, which is unusual for her, but I still figure I should head home, that way whenever she’s ready to talk, I’m free.
I say goodbye to Delilah then get in my car to head home. I sing along with music as I drive, which is something I never do, but I finally feel happy. Really happy. Even more so than that, I’m optimistic for probably the first time in my life. I’m nervous, but I know this will end well, and that means I have a lot to look forward to.
When I pull into my driveway, I see that Marjorie’s car is already parked there. My heart skips a beat. She’s here. It’s as if she somehow knew I needed to talk to her and showed up right when she was needed. I skip into the house then yell her name as soon as I’m inside. I’m surprised when she doesn’t answer, but since I know my mom always sends Bug up to my room to wait for me, I figure that’s what she did with Marjorie.
I leap up the steps, run down the hall, and fling open the door. I’m ready to wear my heart on my sleeve. I want Marjorie to know everything.
