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“We’re at your house, sweetie,” Marjorie answers softly.
I shake my head. I can’t let my mom see me like this. She’ll blame herself and feel terrible. That’s the last thing I want. “There’s a playground right down the street. It has its own parking lot. Park there.” I add a desperate, “Please,” when I realize how demanding I sound.
Marjorie starts driving again and continues to rub my back. “Whatever you need, I’m here. I’m right here.”
Chapter 28
Marjorie
I sit on the merry-go-round next to Payton who has yet to say a word. I’ve never heard her say anything about her dad, but I didn’t realize things were so bad. It all happened so quickly, I’m still having trouble processing it. One moment I was helping customers, then the next thing I knew, Payton looked like she was about to be sick. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. She was physically there, but I don’t think she could hear or comprehend a single word I was saying.
Eli came over and explained to me that it was Payton’s estranged father at the window. I looked over at the man, who had a cocky smile on his face, and completely lost it. I never understood the saying, “Seeing red,” until that moment. I saw a shit ton of red, and I was out for blood. I yelled at him to leave, and I think I might have dropped a few swear words, but I’m not sure. I’ve never acted that way at work, and now I’m not really sure if I still have a job. It doesn’t matter though. All that matters is Payton. I need to be there for her. I need to make this better, if that’s at all possible.
I reach out and grab her hand, and for the first time, I intertwine our fingers together. I don’t think about how good it feels or how I want to hold her hand every day for the rest of my life. Okay… so clearly I do. But the more important thing on my mind is making sure she’s okay.
She drops my hand and I figure that’s the end of it until she lays back and motions for me to lay next to her. As soon as my back is on the cold metal, she connects our hands once again. I look over and smile at her, and I’m surprised when she actually smiles back.
I stare up at the sky and think about how to handle this. “I’m right here when you want to talk. If you want to talk. If you just want to lay here together, that’s fine too.”
I’m not sure how long we stay like this. It seems like forever but also feels like no time passes at all. I’m starting to think Payton decided on the no-talking plan until her voice floats between us out of nowhere.
“My dad left when I was five years old. He was cheating on my mom and ended up getting the other woman pregnant. If it would have just ended there, I probably would have been okay, but he stayed in the area. So, now I run into him at least once a year, and he pulls the same shit he did today. He acts like he doesn’t know me. He never wanted a daughter. Now he has two sons, so he’s living his perfect life. I shouldn’t know the part about him never wanting me. My mom would have never told me that. She would have blamed herself forever. Told me she wasn’t good enough, and I was just collateral damage. But we ran into him when I was nine, and they really got into it. He told her right in front of me that she should have known this would happen because having a little girl was never the plan.” Payton stares up at the sky, and it looks like she might start to cry. “I try to see the good in the world. I want to believe the best. But my mind always goes back to that day. It goes back to the way my own flesh and blood can see me on the street and just look right through me. I’ve tried so hard to be okay. I see a therapist. I have my mom and Bug… sorry… Eli. I call him Bug because of his bug-eating days. Now I have you and Delilah. I’m trying really hard to let more people in, but it’s not easy.”
“Payton, I…” Shit. I don’t know how to respond to all of this. Growing up with a perfect family, it’s easy to assume it’s the same for everyone. So many people I’m close to have already dealt with so much crap though. It almost makes me feel guilty that I haven’t. “I’m so sorry. God, that sounds so stupid to say. Me being sorry right now does nothing to help.”
Payton smiles over at me and squeezes my hand. “You’ve done so much more for me than you could ever imagine, Marjorie.”
I smile at her. Her smile grows. We move closer. Our faces are moving closer. I stop for a moment, afraid that it’s just me, but the distance between us continues to close. Our lips are inches apart. I lick my own. Payton closes her eyes and does the same. I’m about to kiss Payton. I’m about to be her first kiss with a girl ever. The first kiss she doesn’t throw up after. At least, I really hope she doesn’t. I pucker my lips, ready to feel hers any moment.
A loud sound makes us both jump. It’s Payton’s phone. Her damn phone.
Payton cringes then gives me an apologetic smile. She looks at her phone and holds it out to me showing me that it’s her mom. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.”
My heart is still pounding from our almost kiss, so I close my eyes while I listen to one side of Payton’s conversation. “Hey, Mom! Yeah, he did, but how… oh. I’m okay now. Yes. I promise. I’m at the playground with Marjorie. No, that’s not necessary. Tell him I’m good. Ugh. Okay. Fine. See you soon.” When she hangs up the phone, her eyes are even more apologetic. “My mom and Mr. Howard are coming down here. I’m sorry. Delilah called and told them what happened so now they’re freaking out.”
Her mom and Mr. Howard? Why were they coming down together, and why did Delilah call to tell them what happened? I don’t get a chance to ask because soon they are speedwalking over to us.
Payton’s mom thanks me for being there for her then wraps her daughter in a tight hug. Mr. Howard stands behind them. He’s rocking back and forth and his face is beet red. When Payton and her mom pull apart, he shakes his head. “Are you okay? I’ll kill him. I swear, I’ll kill that asshole.”
I’ve only met Delilah’s dad a few times when he’s stopped by the ice cream shop, and he’s always soft-spoken and sweet. He must be really pissed. I don’t blame him, but it makes me wonder why he’s taking it this personally. Payton’s mom starts to rub soothing circles on his back, and it all makes sense. They’re dating. That’s why Payton and Delilah are together so much now. I had no idea. It makes me wonder what else I don’t know about Payton. I understand why she doesn’t like to open up to people, but it makes me sad that she didn’t feel close enough to me to let me know about her mom and Delilah’s dad. I try not to think about it though, because this isn’t about me. It’s about her and what she’s going through right now.
I rub Payton’s back in the same way her mom rubs Mr. Howard’s, and her mom gives me a knowing smile. What does she know? Can she tell I have a huge crush on her daughter? Does she know that Payton probably (hopefully) feels the same way?
My phone starts to ring. I cringe when I see it’s Mrs. Fairfield. Is this when I get fired? I hold up my phone. “I need to take this, sorry.”
Payton smiles and leans into me. “It’s okay. I’m really tired, anyway. I should go home and rest.”
“Can I call you later? To make sure you’re okay?”
Payton’s body trembles against mine, and I hope that means I have as much of an effect on her as she has on me. “I’d really like that,” she says softly, and now I’m the one with goosebumps.
I step away and give her one last wave, then answer my phone. “Hi, Mrs. Fairfield. I’m so sorry about how I acted today. I couldn’t stand seeing Payton so upset and I reacted without thinking. I’m willing to accept any consequences of my actions.”
Much to my surprise, Mrs. Fairfield starts to laugh. “Oh, honey, that’s not why I called at all. I wanted to thank you. You did what I should have done a long time ago. That asshole has been pulling stuff like this for way too long. I’ve tried to remain professional, but I don’t want someone like that at my establishment.” She laughs even harder now. “Thanks to you, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that anymore.”
I can’t speak for a moment because I’m so dumbstruck. That’s not the response I expected at all. “Wow. I’m so glad to hear you’re not mad. I thought I was getting fired.”
“You’d have to do much worse to be fired, dear. You bring in half of our customers.” Her voice then becomes more quiet and her tone is serious. “How is she?”
