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“Hey, I want to ride on your shoulders too,” Bella said as she put her hands on her hips and glared up at me.
“No. Me!” Emery shouted, causing multiple people to turn toward us to see what the commotion was.
These two really did become more like sisters every single day. I had to work hard not to roll my eyes at them and instead smiled down at Bella. “I’ll tell you what. Since Emery is already on my shoulders, I’ll let her ride first, but in a few minutes, it will be your turn.”
“Deal.” Bella stuck out her hand, so I had to bend down while trying to keep Emery balanced on my shoulders to shake it.
When I stood back up, I caught my mom staring at me with a proud smile on her face. “I can’t believe this is my first ever Pride event. I’m so excited.”
I couldn’t believe my mother was actually at a Pride event. Even after all of these years, I still had to pinch myself whenever I was around my parents because it was hard to believe they had changed so much. These were the same people who used to laugh at my dreams and at one point had told their next-door neighbor that Willow was their niece. Now my mom was attending a Pride event that I had helped to organize and proudly wearing the “Live Like Willow Pride Fest” shirt.
“It’s definitely not as elaborate as other Pride festivals, but I think it’s a good one to start with.”
“It’s in memory of my beautiful daughter-in-law. It’s the perfect one to start with.”
When my mom reached her hand out toward Willow’s mom, she accepted it and smiled at her as tears came to her eyes. When she focused her attention on me, the tears started to run down her cheeks. “I can’t thank you and Tori enough for putting this all together. It truly is perfect.”
“We had a lot of help. When people heard we were doing this in memory of Willow, everyone wanted to chip in. She touched so many lives.”
“She did much more than touch lives,” my mom said. She squeezed Mrs. Stone’s hand as tears started to flow down her cheeks as well. “She changed lives. I can personally attest to how true that is. You raised an amazing young woman.”
Mrs. Stone slowly nodded, and I could tell she was trying to keep herself from crying even harder. “I wish I could take credit for that, but Willow was special from the moment she was born. All I did was bring her into this world. She did the rest all on her own.”
Emery wiggled around on my shoulders until her face was hanging in front of mine. “Why is everyone sad?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“We just miss your Mommy, sweetie.” I worked hard to bite back my tears, because I wanted to stay strong for Emery.
“But Mommy is right here.” She bent down and touched my chest right above my heart. “We don’t have to miss her.”
My eyes burned and a lump formed in my throat as it became even more difficult to hold back my tears. “You’re exactly right, sweetie.” I was somehow able to get the words out with only a slight crack to my voice. “Mommy is here with us. That’s why it’s going to be the best day ever.”
Luckily, I was able to stick to my promise. The day really was amazing. Tori was able to pass most of the wedding responsibilities off to one of her employees so she could spend most of the day at Pride, which meant all of us who loved Willow the most were able to enjoy the day together. It really did feel like she was there, and I had to believe that’s because her spirit really was. If I didn’t believe in that, I wouldn’t have been able to get through all of this time without her.
By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted, but the girls insisted we make a blanket fort in the family room to have a sleepover in there, and Tori and I couldn’t say no after they had gotten through the day with minimal meltdowns.
It was only a few minutes into the movie before both of them were passed out, and I finally felt like I could take a breath. After working so hard to keep my emotions in check all day, the deep breath I took was shaky.
I was telling myself not to cry when a hand landed on my arm. “What’s up?” Tori asked from beside me, her eyes full of love as she studied my face. “Everything okay?”
I nodded. “I’m good. It was just a very emotionally taxing day. Don’t get me wrong, it was great, but I just…” I let my voice trail off because I didn’t know how to put what I was feeling into words.
“Wish Willow could have been there with us?”
Of course Tori understood. She always understood. “Exactly. I felt her presence the whole time, but, god, I would have given anything to actually see her standing there right beside me.” I squeezed my eyes shut once again.
I heard rustling beside me and when I opened my eyes, Tori was standing over me with her hand stretched out toward me. “Come with me?”
I accepted her hand and pulled myself up onto my feet. “Where are we going?”
Tori nodded down the hall. “Back to my room so we don’t wake these two.”
She kept a hold of my hand and I followed her down the hallway. Once we were in the room, she pulled me over to the bed, where we sat down next to each other. She removed her hand from mine and put it on my leg instead, causing a comfortable warmth to spread throughout my body as if she had just wrapped me in a blanket. “We have a problem.”
That definitely was not what I expected Tori to say, so now I was extremely confused. “We do?”
“We do. You’re trying so hard to stay strong for everyone else in your life that I think in the process you’re making yourself weaker.”
“I’m not doing that.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “At least, I don’t think so.”
