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It was such a hard question, because I really wasn’t sure how I was doing. The past two years were filled with tons of ups and downs. Some of my best and worst times followed Willow’s death. I made it a point to feel everything, to not allow myself to get stuck. Willow had taught me so much, but the most important thing was that I needed to live my life. I couldn’t let myself get complacent, because any day could be my last. I knew I owed it to her to live my life to the fullest, but some days it was almost impossible. Today was one of those days. “I’m trying really hard to actually mean it when I say I’m okay.”
Tori pursed her lips as she started her car. “I get it. Can I be completely honest and a bit of a downer though?”
I reached out and squeezed her arm. “Of course you can.”
“The day Willow died was by far the worst day of my life, and as much as I love celebrating her, this also all reminds me how much this fucking sucks.”
“Want to run away?” I asked with a laugh, only partially joking.
“Kind of, but where would we go?”
I smiled when an idea popped into my head. “I have an idea. Switch me spots.”
Without hesitation, Tori opened her door and walked over to the passenger side of the car. When she opened the door, I got out and took her place in the driver’s seat.
“So, where are we going?” Tori asked once I started to drive.
“You’ll see.” I wasn’t sure why I was going to this particular location, but whenever I had an inkling like this, I assumed Willow had something to do with it. Who was I to mess with whatever plan she had come up with for me?
It took less than fifteen minutes to get where we were going, and a sincere smile came onto Tori’s face when we pulled into the parking lot. “Our old apartment? God, I can’t remember the last time I was here.”
“Probably when we lived here, honestly.” I pointed toward a picnic table that sat a few feet from the apartment I had shared with Tori, Willow, and my best friend, Lisa. “I know we can’t go inside, but want to sit over there for a few minutes?”
“And completely freeze our asses off?” Tori shrugged while she laughed. “Why not? Let’s do it!”
I shut off the car, zipped up my jacket, then followed Tori to the picnic table. I watched as Tori sat down, tilted her head back and took a deep breath, a small smile parting her lips that made her look absolutely beautiful. Not that she wasn’t always beautiful. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was already falling for her best friend, I’m sure Tori would have caught my eye when I first met her. Her natural beauty has a way of turning heads. But this beauty was different. She looked sincerely happy, which was a sight I didn’t see often enough these past two years.
“So, how was Christmas with your mom and Rick?”
Clearly, that was the wrong question because the smile immediately left Tori’s face. “Oh, it was just peachy. I loved listening to them both put me down about the fact that I’m still not married and how it would really benefit Bella to have a man in her life. I honestly don’t know why I keep putting up with them other than the fact that Bella adores them for some reason.”
I cringed at her words. I wasn’t even sure why I had asked. Of course it hadn’t gone well. From what I’d learned from both Willow and Tori, Tori spent most of her childhood taking care of her mom due to her drinking habits. Her mom had luckily become sober, but in the process she also found God, and it wasn’t the love everyone God that I believed in. This was the fire and brimstone God who judged everything and everyone, so in turn, Tori’s mom did as well. She married the pastor of her church, and the two of them seemed to make a game out of telling Tori everything she did wrong with her life. It broke my heart to see, especially since I understood parents that can’t be impressed. That was my parents for most of my life. Fortunately, thanks to my wife, they came around. They were changed before her death, but losing Willow put things in perspective for them even more. They worked less and traveled to see us at least one to two long weekends a month. They were even talking about moving to Melsborough once they retired, which was something I never thought would happen (the retirement or the move).
Unfortunately, it appeared there was no hope for Tori’s mom and stepdad, and that fact broke my heart. I reached my hand across the table and squeezed Tori’s. “I’m sorry.”
Tori waved her hand and smiled, but this time it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m used to it by now. That’s honestly the least of my worries these days.”
“Anything on your mind?” I cringed once again. I’m sure there was a lot on her mind today. “Aside from the obvious. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I know how hard today is for you. You lost your wife two years ago. The mother of your child. I can’t even imagine.”
I squeezed Tori’s hand once again. “Of course you can. You lost your best friend. Family, really. Willow was like a sister to you, Tor. Don’t downplay your pain. We’re in this together.”
“Thank you. But even so, I’m sure you don’t want to hear my dumb complaints.”
I lifted an eyebrow at her and smiled. “Try me.”
“Fine.” Tori let out a long sigh. “Living at the house on the barn property isn’t working anymore. I know we had three adults living there at one point, but somehow it doesn’t seem big enough for one rambunctious five-year-old. Plus, living where I work is a terrible idea. Two months ago, Bella ran out of the house in nothing but underwear in the middle of a wedding.”
I laughed in spite of the heaviness in my heart. “Eh, that’s not so bad. I’m sure it’s nothing they haven’t seen.”
Tori looked me dead in the eye, her smile a straight line, then subtly lifted one eyebrow. “The underwear was on her head.”
I laughed even harder now. “I can’t believe you’re just telling me this.”
Tori shrugged. “I hate complaining to you.”
“First of all, you can complain to me whenever you want. Second, it’s not complaining when the story is that hilarious.”
