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Lisa lifted an eyebrow at me. “Hm. Interesting.”
Lisa knew Tori and I were officially together. She figured it out before we even told her. We came to visit her and Abigail a few weeks after getting together and after taking one look at us, Lisa said, “It’s about fucking time.” And that was that. We didn’t have to say anything. We all just went on as if nothing had changed. But clearly things had changed, and the way Lisa was currently looking at me made me want to crawl out of my own skin.
Lisa bent back down in front of Emery and Bella as if she was about to tell them a secret. “I have some ice cream in my freezer. Want Auntie Lisa to get it for you?” she asked in a whisper as if I couldn’t hear.
The girls obviously accepted and followed Lisa into her kitchen where she prepared two bowls of ice cream with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. After situating them at her kitchen table, Lisa looked at me and pointed toward her living room. “And you… birthday girl… Come with me.”
I followed her into the living room and flopped next to her on the couch. There was no need to fake a smile anymore since Lisa could clearly see right through me. “Since I know you’re going to ask, Tori and I are fighting. Or, I don’t know. I’m not really fighting, but she’s mad at me.”
“Mad enough to keep her from spending your birthday with you?” Lisa cringed. “What the hell did you do?”
“I lied about something involving Willow.”
“Ah,” Lisa said as if she actually understood (which she couldn’t possibly). She put a hand on my knee and squeezed it. “Listen… the way you and Tori got together wasn’t conventional. Things like this are going to happen. I wish I had perfect advice to give you, but unfortunately, I don’t have experience dating the best friend of a dead spouse. All I know is that you and Tori work. You fit together perfectly, and I can’t remember the last time I saw either of you as happy as you’ve been these past few months. Don’t run away from the hard stuff. Stay and fight. It’s worth it.”
“I know.” She was right. As soon as I left her house, I needed to go home and talk to Tori. Or at least try. “Speaking of relationships, have you and Abigail started planning your wedding yet? You’ve been engaged forever.”
Lisa shrugged off my question the same way she always did. “We’ve discussed ideas, but haven’t figured out a date or anything yet. It will happen eventually.”
“But why hasn’t it? You always used to talk about how you wanted to be married with kids by now. You have the fiancée. I guess I’m trying to figure out why you’re dragging your feet.” I stared down Lisa. “The truth.”
Lisa groaned. “I feel bad telling you the real reason.”
“Well, now you definitely have to.” I was intrigued. What was it that Lisa possibly thought she couldn’t tell me? I was her oldest friend. She should know she could tell me anything.
“Please don’t overthink this or feel bad, but I did it for you. I didn’t want to get married too soon after you lost Willow. I worried it would be too hard on you. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to do anything that could hurt you.”
“Lisa.” When Lisa looked at me with wide, attentive eyes, I reached out and shook her shoulder. “Marry that damn girl immediately. I insist. Abigail is your soulmate. You deserve your happy ending with her. Don’t mess it up.”
Lisa playfully pushed me back. “I should be telling you the same thing. You found your soulmate in Willow and then were lucky enough to find a second soulmate in Tori. You need to make things right.” Lisa smiled toward the kitchen. “After I get some time with my nieces, of course.”
We spent a few hours at Lisa’s house before I finally got the courage to go home. When we arrived, Tori’s car was in the driveway, but she was nowhere to be found. Since her door was shut, I assumed she was still in there. I got the girls occupied with coloring books and a movie, then headed upstairs.
When I reached Tori’s door, I knocked gently. “Tori? Can I come in?”
Tori responded with a grunt that somewhat resembled the word yes, so I let myself in. Tori was laying face down on her bed and didn’t move at all as I walked over. I sat down beside her and ran my fingers across her back. I was happy to find that this time she didn’t pull away. “Can we talk?”
Tori rolled from her stomach to her back and the sight of her tear-soaked face ripped my heart in two. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say,” Tori said as she wiped at her tears. “I'm so confused. I don’t even know what to believe anymore.”
“I get that. I really do. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t believe me either.”
“But… the note. It was in Willow’s handwriting, and she said she would be gone in a month, and it was dated the month before she died, and it doesn’t make any rational sense, but it has to be true, right? I mean, I don’t know why you would lie to me about that. I didn’t think you would lie to me about anything.”
“I didn’t want to lie to you. Or anyone else for that matter. But this wasn’t my secret to tell, Tori. Willow asked me to keep it for her.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense. How did those psychics know? Why did Willow believe them? Why didn’t she try to stop it?”
I wished more than anything that I had the answers to all of her questions, but I didn’t. “I don’t know. I’ve wondered the exact same thing. All I do know is that Willow saw it as a gift. She didn’t let one moment in her life go to waste. When her time came, she was ready. At least as ready as anyone can be for that.”
A long silence stretched between us until Tori released a choked sob. “She might have been ready, but I wasn’t.” She pounded on her chest as she said the words. “I wasn’t ready. She was my family. My sister. Sometimes, she was all I had. I wasn’t ready to lose her. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”
I held Tori tightly as she sobbed into my shoulder. I didn’t say a word because I knew nothing I said would make this better. There was nothing that could take away the pain and betrayal she was feeling right now. So, I continued to hold her. I held her as the seconds turned into minutes and as her sobs turned to quiet tears.
“I don’t know what to do, Rosemary,” Tori said when she finally spoke. Her voice was shaky but her words were clear.
“What do you mean?” I was scared to ask the question, but I had to know where we stood.
“I love you so much. Sometimes, you’re the only person that can make me smile. I need you. But, right now, it also hurts to look at you. Knowing that you knew this. That you and Willow kept it from me. From all of us. I just… I don’t know how to get past that. I need some time and space.”
