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Tori ran her hands up and down my arms, and the move was surprisingly comforting. “Nothing you have to say is dumb, and if it upsets me, who cares? You’re the wife of my best friend, which means in her absence, you officially take the title of best friend. And best friends tell each other everything. Even the hard stuff.”
“I just…” I hesitated as I tried to put it into words. My head and my heart were so jumbled that I wasn’t even sure how to explain it, especially since I didn’t want to hurt Tori’s feelings or give her the wrong idea about our arrangement. “I guess I’m just realizing more and more as time moves on that there’s less and less things that are mine and Willow’s. I know it’s stupid, but this house felt like one of the last things we had left that was ours. I don’t know. Like I said, it’s really dumb. It’s just a house.”
I threw myself onto the bed and Tori immediately sat down next to me. “It’s not just a house. It’s the house you bought with your wife—the one who was unjustly taken from you way too early in life. It’s sacred, and I’m sorry if my words made it sound like this was mine in any way. It’s still yours and Willow’s. I’m just stopping by along the way.” She pointed her thumb toward the door. “And if you tell me you changed your mind and don’t want us here anymore, I will pack up all of our things and get right out of here without a fight. I’m not sure that I can say the same for my daughter, but we’ll figure it out. I completely understand. No hard feelings at all. Just tell me what to do.”
The warmth of Tori’s words spread through my body. I had always loved her as Willow’s best friend who became one of mine, but ever since losing Willow, she was also my rock. She deserved the world. The least I could do was share my house with her. It’s not like I didn’t have the space. “I don’t want to fight a five-year-old, so I think you two should stay.”
Tori smirked at my joke. “I think we could take them.”
“Oh yeah, totally. We did so well when it came to the room situation.”
One of the many reasons Tori and Bella’s move was delayed was because we spent a whole day putting together a bedroom for Bella while she and Emery were with Willow’s parents, only to have Bella break into tears when we showed it to her. I wish I could say they were happy tears, but they were actually angry tears. Why? Because she was in a different room than Emery. Apparently, when we told the two of them they would be living together, they assumed that meant they would not only be living in the same house, but also in the same room. After much foot-stomping and a whole lot of sass, we agreed to let them share a room, but that involved another two days of rearranging Emery’s room into a room for both of them.
Tori pointed a finger at me. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who caved first.”
“What can I say? Your daughter is very convincing.”
“I know. She gets that from her mom.”
I rolled my eyes as I thought about my own daughter. “I understand that all too well. Emery gets her stubbornness from Willow.”
“Oh, trust me, I know. She’s Willow through and through.” Tori laughed for a few seconds before her face suddenly became serious again. “And that’s something that you and Willow will always share. Willow will always be her mom, no matter how long she’s gone. No one can take that away from you.”
I sighed because her words made me both happy and sad. “And that’s also one of the many reasons I need to stay single for the rest of my life. If I ever met someone, I would want them to treat Emery as one of their own but also not. I think I would resent them if they ended up being too motherly. I would feel like they were trying to take Willow’s place, and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.”
“I think the right person would understand all of that.”
I scoffed, because I wasn’t so sure that was true. “I’m not sure anyone could possibly understand that.”
“I would.” Tori cleared her throat. “You know, if I was in a situation where I was dating someone in your situation. If that makes sense.”
I couldn’t get myself to form words because my throat was suddenly dry. I wanted to stand to get a drink of water, but my legs felt wobbly as well. Why the hell was I reacting this way? Maybe the thought of being with someone other than Willow had my body going haywire. Except, the reaction I was having wasn’t necessarily an uncomfortable one. It was almost as if I was excited about the prospect of finding someone else. My stomach dropped as soon as that entered my mind and I thought I might throw up. I was obviously young, and Willow had told me multiple times in the years we were together that I needed to find love after she was gone, but even thinking about it made me overcome with guilt. Willow was my world. We were two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. How was I supposed to replace her with another one? It would never fit. Then an even worse thought hit me. What if it did?
“Shit. What did I say now? I lost you again. I’m totally striking out today.”
Luckily, Tori’s voice was able to pull me out of my spiral. “Nothing big,” I said with a chuckle. “Just having a mild panic attack as I think about what it would be like to be with anyone other than Willow, then chastising myself over the fact that I was even having those thoughts.”
Tori studied my face for a long time before she spoke again. “You do know Willow would want you to be happy, right?”
I’m very aware. “I know. It’s really not worth harping on right now though. It’s not like women are beating down my door to get with me.”
Tori opened her mouth, then immediately closed it once again. This happened a few more times before words finally came out. “Speaking of doors, do you want me to head back out that one or—?”
“Absolutely not,” I said, not even allowing Tori to finish that thought. “You’re staying. This is going to be great. Contrary to how I’ve been acting, I’m actually very excited to have you and Bella here. I think this is going to be good for all of us.”
A sweet smile parted Tori’s lips. “I think so too.” Her face lit up even more. “Plus, now we can really deep dive into planning Pride since we have the date worked out and everything set up with the township.”
I cringed because nothing that had been done for Pride was my doing. “Yes! And I promise to help more now. I’m sorry I’ve been slacking. You’re just much better at schmoozing people than me.”
“I own a wedding venue and am the lead event planner. It’s literally my job to schmooze people. Plus, it’s not like I can cancel the wedding that was already scheduled for the same day as Pride, so I’ll be back and forth between the two events, which means you’re in charge that day.”
I laughed as I cringed once again. Willow may have changed me immensely in the time I had with her, but I was definitely not a take-charge sort of woman. “I will make sure everything runs smoothly from beginning to end from behind the scenes, but I’ll leave the schmoozing that day to Lisa and Silas.”
“Fair enough. They are very good at it.” Tori looked around the room and sighed, but I couldn’t tell if it was one of content or stress. “I guess we should go pick up the girls, huh?”
I tapped the box sitting next to me. “Or we could very slowly unpack the rest of your things. It’s not like Willow’s mom is going to care how long she has them. I honestly think she’d prefer to have them longer.”
“That’s true. With how much time she spends with those two, I’m shocked she’s not sick of them by now.”
