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While my father’s death had changed me, everything that happened between Cruz and I had awakened me. Grunge seemed to understand those two experiences that shaped me—love and loss—better than any other music.
I was a far cry from who I had been when my Daddy died and when I lost Cruz, I lost someone important to me for the second time in my life. While both had saddened me, neither had broken me. Sure, my heart had been fragile, and sure, at times it felt as if the world was coming to an end. But if anything, love and loss had made me stronger, and forced me to think about what I really wanted out of this life.
While I may still be questioning what I wanted to do career wise, I knew without a doubt, what I did not want. I didn’t want to stay in Elmhurst. I wanted to leave the sleepy southern society I’d been born into and forge my own path. One where rumors didn’t dictate the decorum in which I lived, nor who I loved. I may have lost Cruz because of this society, but I wouldn’t let it take another love from me.
“Gasoline is going up in flames,” I say as I turn to Jenica. “Do you want to stay and watch them burn to dust, or head up the boardwalk?”
With Jenica’s schedule back to normal we’d spent the past few nights on the rides and been having a blast.
I loved it when it was just her and I, and hoped Royce and the others from Elmhurst would stay away again tonight. That way, if we ran into Cruz, maybe I could give in to all this sexual tension he’d stirred during dinner earlier, and I could let what I was feeling run its course.
It may have been hours ago now, but I was still keyed up. Between his sultry eyes and innuendos, I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. I even skipped dessert, and popcorn was not an adequate substitute for my Nanna’s peach cobbler.
“Yeah, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Jenica hops off the railing and sticks out her hand. I give her the bag of popcorn and grab the railing, doing the same.
“So…” She tosses her dark hair back and grabs a fistful of popcorn. “What’s going on with Operation Get to the Truth?”
“Absolutely nothing.” I look ahead and frown. “I haven’t talked to anyone the past few days. After they took over my house for that pool party, everyone’s been doing their own thing.”
“Well that’s good.” She gives me back the bag. “It means you don’t have to be around them and can spend more time with me.”
“I know.” I shake the bag to mix up the salty n’ sweet seasoning and look over at her, giving her a soft smile. “Which is always a plus, as you know. But I don’t really have anything so far. All my conversations have done is secured a promise of information, which comes with the obligation of being a date to some dumb ball, and the suggestion of breaking and entering.”
“You know…” She looks over at me as I reach into the bag, grab a fistful of popcorn, and toss it into my mouth. “Asher may have been onto something with his little B&E idea. It’s actually kind of perfect. When they’re at that schmooze fest, stroking each other’s egos and shit, you can disappear for a bit and get what you need.”
“I can’t do that,” I shake my head. “What if I get caught?”
“By whom, the Sheriff?” she snickers. “Won’t he be at the party, too?”
“I don’t know…”
“Look.” She stops and squares her shoulders to look me in the eyes. “The Stepford Twins aren’t going to give you shit. You know this already. Not without giving them some blood, or more. And Royce is baiting you with that ball. The only one who has helped you so far is Asher with his idea, so I say, take him upon it.”
She’s right. The twins weren’t going to give me anything. At least, not until I made it worth their while. And with Skye and Carter home for the summer, it was going to be difficult to get anything out of her. Especially since she hasn’t returned any of my calls.
“Maybe you’re—” I start to respond then stop when I see Cruz. He’s strolling down the boardwalk, shoulder to shoulder with Jake, and it’s just the two of them.
Watching Cruz, my stomach does a flip flop. With his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and beautiful bronze skin, he looks like a god.
“Man,” she shakes her head. “How long are you two going to do this dance?”
I turn to her, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know why you two don’t just say fuck it and well, fuck it.”
My cheeks grow warm and I rub my thighs together, the memory of his mouth on me, making my clit pulse.
When I told Jenica what happened between Cruz and I and the deal we made, she didn’t seem surprised. If anything, she seemed to enjoy watching him and I dance around one another the past few days.
“What happened the other night is not going to happen again,” I say with a certainty I don’t exactly feel.
She folds her arms over her chest and grins. “Uh-huh.”
“I mean it, Jen. There’s no point in mixing business with pleasure. It’s not about us. It’s about making things better for our parents.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” she laughs.
“I don’t have to because I mean it. Have you seen us alone together the past few nights?”
