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I turn to look out the window, watching the open fields pass me by, thinking of that word…we. Since when did he and I become we?
“You mean me,” I correct.
“No,” he looks over at me. “I meant we. I told you. I’m—”
“Why do you even care?” I whip my head around and find his eyes on mine.
“What do you mean?” He looks at me for a moment, before flicking them back to the road.
“Why do you even care if we figure this out? You don’t care about my dead father.”
“What?” he shakes his head, slightly confused. “Of course I care.”
“Why?” I find myself asking as he turns off onto the drive for the house.
He looks over at me, and I can see the confusion in his eyes. “Because he matters to you and what matters to you, matters to me.”
I turn back to the window and roll my eyes. “Right.”
We make our way up the sweeping drive in silence and when he parks the Jeep, and turns off the ignition, he turns to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Bullshit.”
He knows me. Still knows me, actually, and it grates on my nerves because I don’t know how well I still know him.
“Alright.” I turn back around. “You want to know what’s wrong? If you hadn’t come to Cherry Cove this summer you wouldn’t even know about any of this. Who knows, maybe I’d have gotten what I needed out of Royce last night and this stack of papers would make more sense.”
The muscle in Cruz’s jaw ticks as he grips the wheel. “Sure, Royce may have given you what you wanted. If you spread your legs for him.”
I draw in a quick breath and narrow my eyes. “Well, maybe I should have. It would have been just sex, right? I mean, isn’t that what those girls at Highland were for you…just sex? I mean, shit, maybe that’s allwewere.”
He shakes his head and studies me like he’s trying to peel back the layers to get to the real source of my frustration. “Where is this coming from? After last night…and today.”
I feel like a bull in a china shop. Frustration with everything boiling to the surface. First there’s my father’s case. Then there’s the whole incident with Royce last night. And to top it off, the matter of whatever it was Cruz and I were doing.
I didn’t know which way was up anymore. When he was near, I wanted him. And when he wasn’t, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We were supposed to be working each other out of our system. Not rekindling every damn emotion I ever felt for him.
“It doesn’t matter,” I reach for the door handle. “You are free to do whatever or whomever you choose. Today didn’t change anything. In fact, none of what we have done changes anything.”
“Oh come on,” he reaches for my hand, stopping me from getting out of the Jeep. “You don’t see me crucifying any of the guys you hooked up with, do you?”
“Oh, you know what?” I blow out angrily.
“What?” he fires back.
We’re both breathing hard, panting like we’ve gone five rounds in a boxing ring, and as if reading each other’s minds, we reach for one another’s faces, and start kissing feverishly.
He takes off his seatbelt, and I do the same, crawling into his lap, sending all of the papers on my lap falling to the floor.
“Christ, Ellery, you drive me insane,” he pants as his hot mouth finds the nape of my neck.
I grind against him while gripping his head with both hands. “I know the feeling.”
“Fuck,” he groans. “I’m going to come in my shorts if you don’t stop rubbing against my dick like that.”
“Fine.” I unzip his shorts, reach under his briefs, and wrap my hand around his cock. “How about this instead?”
