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“I love him, Cole. I’ve never loved anyone before, but I love him. I know it in my bones and my skin, my hair, all these parts of myself I never realized could hurt this badly. And maybe he did once,” she said as another tear slipped free, “but I don’t think he loves me back anymore. I’ve been spending all day, every day, wondering how I can fix this. But right now”—her finger rose, trembling, pointing at the glass while her jaw clenched—“the only thing I’m wondering, is who thefuckis that?”
Staring down through the window, following the line of Davis’s finger, Cole whispered, “Shit,” before he could stop himself.
In front of the trees, at the foot of the path leading back to the cabins, Kev stood with his arms at his sides, leaning in close and talking in what looked like hushed tones to another woman. A woman with long blondish hair and pale, reedy arms who reached out, cradled his neck, and pulled his forehead toward hers.
“You know who she is, don’t you?” Davis’s voice cracked, her eyes hollow, empty.
Of course Cole knew who she was. Murphy hadn’t been the only one who’d made sure to meet all the visitors today. But he couldn’t tell Davis that the woman was Thom’s sister without his permission.
“I do,” he told her, and his heart sank. “But I can’t—”
“Right.” She laughed, but it was nothing but pain. “More rules.” Finally leaving the window, she walked to her mom’s desk and sat slowly in her chair.
Cole’s heart wanted to respond in the same way it would have responded to his own daughter hurting. He wanted to comfort Davis the same way he’d comfort Becks, to hug her, make her dinner, take her sailing, try and make everything better as fast as possible no matter what it took. But Davis wasn’t Becks. He wasn’t the one who could fix this, if anyone could. “Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?”
Her shoulders rose and fell. “Sort of, but it’s hard. I think I’m scared that if we finally admit out loud that something’s wrong, whatever we do still have together won’t survive it. Not that it’s surviving now.” She gazed up at him. “What’s wrong with me, Cole? I used to be stronger than this. I’d never let anyone shut me out like this before I met Kev.”
Sitting down across from her, he reached out, taking her hand in his. “It’s different when you really love someone, and all you want, more than anything in the world, is for them to love you back.” A shiver crawled across his neck at his own words. Like by trying to help Davis with hers, he’d inadvertently voiced his own insecurities.
When he’d called her after getting the okay from Madigan, he hadn’t been surprised by Mira’s hesitance to join him in Seattle. He’d been more surprised that she actually agreed. But now, the quiet but persistent part of him that wondered if he was doing it again, loving too hard, going all in on someone without making sure they felt the same, suddenly became uncomfortably loud.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Davis said, cutting in on his dismal thoughts that were likely not at all what she suspected. “It’s the same things my friends keep telling me, to protect myself, to be willing to let him go if he keeps refusing to open up. They all make it sound so easy, but they don’t understand. Nothing about this is easy.”
“Davis, I’m not going to say any of those things. I’m literally the last person to give advice about fighting for a relationship that might not be worth fighting for. I did it for most of my life.”
“How did you know when to stop?” she asked, her desperation grabbing his heart and squeezing. “How did you know when it was time to give up?”
“I’m not sure I ever really knew,” he answered honestly, another shiver gripping his neck. “But I think, eventually, I realized it hurt more to be with Nancy than it hurt to be without her.”
She stared at him for a long moment, and when Murphy grumbled across the room, she said, “I don’t think I’m there yet.” Allowing herself a single chin wobble, she wiped her eyes dry. “I’m probably overreacting anyway. Kev and that woman out there are probably just friends.”
“I’m sure they are,” he lied, not actually sure of anything.
“Thanks, Cole.” She smiled at him, but it was only by definition. “Thanks for listening. I can’t talk about Kev with Mom or Madigan. Mom is…Mom, and Madigan and Kev are too close, too complicated. Don’t tell Madigan I talked to you, okay?”
“I won’t,” he promised her. He wouldn’t tell Mad about Davis, but he wondered if he should tell him about Thom’s sister. She was on the list, and even though she’d looked a little strung out when she’d showed up this afternoon, Cole had figured she was safe. But if she knew Kev, if they had a history, maybe she wasn’t.
Rolling her neck, downshifting so suddenly Cole felt the lurch, she said, all business, “You probably came up here for a reason. Did you need something?”
With what she’d just told him, what they’d just seen through the window, the answer to that question felt a hell of a lot heavier than it had ten minutes ago. “I have to leave tomorrow. Only for the day,” he added when her gaze snapped to his. “There’s a band that wants to use the studio, and I need to meet with them. I’ve already told Mad, but I wanted to make sure it was okay with Maude Alice, and you, before I left.”
Her mouth opened, then closed, then she said, “I see. I’m sure Grandma won’t mind watching Little Timber.”
“Davis.” He held her stare. “I don’t have to go. If you’re worried about—”
“We’ll be fine.” And then, because she was just like her grandmother in that nothing much got past her, she asked, “Are you going alone?”
“No,” he admitted. “Mira’s coming.”
“That’s good.” Davis nodded. “Really good. A chance to show Mira a bit of your world. It’s not like Seattle is a million miles away, right?”
He’d heard this sentiment before. He’d said it to himself. But the longer he stayed in Red Falls, the farther away Seattle felt. He’d do his best to convince Mira she could have an easy place in his world, but more and more, after their evening walks through town, having dinner with her at charming little restaurants, spending time with her family, unwinding to the slower pace here, he wondered if his world was what he wanted anymore. “I’m going to try” was all he could say.
“Are you seeing her tonight?”
“I was. But I don’t have to. We can hang out if you want, maybe go for a hike to watch the sunset? It’s gorgeous out.” It was a blissfully cool evening after a string of ninety-degree days, and while it was true that he’d gnaw his own hand off if it was stuck in a trap to see Mira tonight, he wanted to make sure Davis was okay. Besides, he could always sneak out later when everyone else had gone to sleep, throw pebbles Romeo-style at her window, scramble up her fire escape and into her room…
“A hike’s not a bad idea,” she said. “I need to think. Or maybe I need to clear my mind.” She shrugged, attempting a genuine smile. “Maybe both. But you should go see Mira.”
