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“Why, Mira?” He brushed his fingers over her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn’t felt fall. “Why should I stop?”
She’d been waiting for him, ready to tell him she wanted to try, to see if they could have a real long-distance relationship. But what he was suggesting, leaving his home, his studio, his family, his entire life, for her?
“I just think we should talk about things first.” Things like the sacrifices he’d be making, the losses he’d suffer, that look of pure love in his eyes when he’d held his granddaughter in his arms, the way he’d resent her when he realized how much he’d given up to be with her. The way it would destroy her when he’d eventually decide he’d given up too much. “I think you’ve been through a lot, and we need to just take a breath and talk this through.”
“There’s only one thing to talk about.” Grasping her hand, he placed her palm on his chest. Unlike hers, which hurled itself so hard and fast against her ribs her shirt vibrated from the force of it, his heart beat steadily, slowly. “I might look like shit right now.” His lips inched into a muted smile. “In fact, I’m sure I look like shit right now. But I’m not delirious. My mind is clear. My heart knows what it wants.” Brushing his thumb so softly over hers it ached, he said, “Does yours?”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SIX
COLE
Cole knew comingto see her in his current state was a risk. But after watching Madigan walk a pale and stumbling Kev to his truck to take him to the hospital, after not seeing or talking to Mira during the three days of pure hell they’d all just endured, it was a risk he had to take. Because something happened to a person when the narrow, meandering path they’d been following blindly for years finally straightened, showing them there was a purpose to continually putting one foot in front of the other, a meaning behind the countless steps they’d taken. Something happened when that person looked up to see their future reveal itself like a mountain rising from the fog. Something happened when they realized that future didn’t exist without Mira Harlow in it. They were given no other choice but to let her know it as soon as humanly possible.
“Talk to me,” he whispered into the space between them. “Please, say something.” He was ready for this, ready to be with her, but she had to be ready too. “Tell me you want this, Mira. Tell me to stay.”
With a sharp inhale, a shuddering gasp, she pushed him back a step. Then she wheeled around, buried her face in her hands, and said, “You can’t move to Red Falls for me.”
“The fuck I can’t.”
She turned back to him, her eyes shining like sea glass. “You can’t leave your entire life, your granddaughter, for me. I would never ask you to do that. I would nevertellyou to do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because!” she cried, throwing her hands into the air.
“That’s not an answer, Mira.”
“Look, I care about you, Cole.”
“Youcareabout me?”
“I think you’re a very special person.”
Special?Jesus, did he have this all wrong?
“But I think this is all moving way too fast. We haven’t known each other long enough to—”
“Don’t,” he said, barely believing his ears. “I know you, Mira. I know you as well as I’ve ever known anyone. I know you like cats more than dogs. I know you’re secretly obsessed with yacht rock. I know you love the smell of lilacs in the evening and rain in the morning. I know you sleep with twinkly lights, and your closet is full of dirty laundry. Yeah, I know that too,” he said when her eyes went wide. “I know you smell like lemon-flavored icing, even though you prefer strawberry. I know you give yourself to everyone around you and never ask for anything in return. I know you’ve felt abandoned before, and that probably makes you scared. I know you love your family, your bakery, your town, your life.”
“But you love those things too,” she insisted, her chin quivering. “You love your studio, your boat, your daughter, Ruby. I know you think you care about me, but you’re emotional right now.”
“I’m always emotional,” he said. “I’m an emotional person. And I don’t onlythinkI care about you. You’re all I think about. It’s you, Mira. It’s all you. All you have to do is tell me you feel the same.” He ran his fingers down her arm, over her wrist, curling his hand around hers. “You don’t even have to feel all the way the same. I’ll take half. I’ll take half of what I feel for you. It’ll be enough.”
When she didn’t say anything, he felt the silent ticking of time like a hand pushing him back, slowing him down, shaking him until his head cleared. Not even half. She didn’t even feel half the same. He thought she did. He’d been so sure. What was it the guys told him? Always play it through to the end? He hadn’t done that. He hadn’t thought any further than the next minute ahead of him.
Play it through, Cole.How would this end? After he poured his whole heart out in the middle of her bakery, after she wouldn’t pour even half her heart out back, how would this story end? With him doing everything he could to make it work with someone who maybe didn’t want it to? With him alone again with his heart breaking over and over and over?
“I’m sorry,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “But we can’t. Not like this.”
He dropped her hand, his jaw clenching so hard something popped, and he just cracked. “Fuck!” he shouted up to the ceiling. “What iswrongwith me? Why do I keep doing this to myself?”
“Doing what?” she asked, frantic. “Cole, what—”
Taking her face between his hands, holding her emerald gaze while it threatened to break him apart, he said, “Why do I keep falling in love with people who refuse to love me back?”
“That’s not fair.” She blinked, and tears streamed down her face. “That is not fair. I never said that.”
“I know.” Gently, he brushed her tears away with his thumbs, because this wasn’t her fault. “You didn’t.”
