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“IMISS MUFF,” EBONYmurmurs as she trails behind me at the store.
Her words hurt because I know she loves him.I know how much it hurts for her not to have him in the house every night, even though he visits her daily.Ebony is smart, and she knows something is going on even though I told her Muff is just busy at the club.She can see straight through me, and it breaks my heart to know that.
“I know, honey,” I say, stopping to face her.“If you’d like, I can ask him if you can stay the night with him?”
“Why can’t he just come and stay at home?”
It’s a big question I don’t know how to answer.
“He just has a lot happening at the club right now, it’s better if he’s there.”
“You don’t talk to him.”She frowns.“Are you angry at him?”
It kills me to think that, eventually, I’ll have to tell her the truth.
“No, honey,” I say.“Come on, why don’t you pick something delicious for dinner?What’s your favorite?”
“Spaghetti!”she chirps, rushing down the aisle to fetch some pasta.
Max drools over his fist in his seat on the shopping cart, and I smile down at him.Every single day, he looks more and more like his dad.It makes it so damned hard sometimes, but I wouldn’t change a single thing about him.I reach down, swiping my finger over his chubby cheek, making him smile at me.He has the biggest, most beautiful smile, and it warms my heart and eases some of the raging pain swimming through my body right now.
“Muff!”
Ebony’s loud voice has my head whipping around just in time to see a flash of dark red hair before Ebony is lifted into the air.Taking a step forward, I freeze when I see Muff in the aisle, Ebony’s arms around his neck, Harper standing beside him.She has a basket in her hand, her blond hair loose around her shoulders, her blue eyes on me.She’s beautiful, I can’t deny it.She’s as breathtaking as I would expect her to be, and that only makes it all that much harder.
It isn’t her fault, and even though every part of me wants to hate her, I can’t.
She wasn’t the one who lied to me.
Still, seeing them in the store together rips my heart apart.
It hurts in a way I simply cannot describe.
A pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
My cheeks burn and my chest clenches as Muff walks toward me, his eyes never leaving mine.When he stops at the cart, he puts Ebony down and then reaches over to scoop Max up into his arms.Nuzzling his face into the little boy’s neck, he murmurs a hello and tells him how much he misses him.
That only makes it so much worse.
How the hell am I ever going to get over this?
How will I ever feel okay again?
Right now, in this very moment, I want to drop to the ground and scream just to make the pain go away for a single second.
Just a minute of relief.
It’s all I want.
Placing Max back into the seat, Muff looks to me.
I haven’t answered a single call or text, and when he comes to see the kids I go out and let Serenity stay with them.
I can’t face him, because it causes too much pain.
“You aren’t answerin’ my calls.”
I glance at Harper, who is standing back, not looking at me, and I appreciate her at least trying to be respectful.
