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They’re not enough to base my decisions on.
Janine isn’t talking to me.
It has been two weeks, and I haven’t seen her nor heard from her.Serenity is at the house each night when I come to see the kids, and we talk, but she doesn’t tell me what Janine is doing or how she’s doing.That fucking hurts because she has a made a choice, and I don’t get the chance to have a say in it.I don’t blame her, though.I fucked up when it came to her.I lied to her, and I broke her heart.
She has every right to turn me away.
But fuck, I can’t get her out of my head.
I’ve taken the time to try and get to the bottom of whatever the fuck is going on with Harper.She can only tell me so much, something to do with her safety, but that’s as much information as she’ll allow.I got Jackson and the guys onto it to do some digging into her father around the time she went missing, to see if they can find anything.
I know in my fuckin’ soul that her father is the reason she disappeared.
Her father died a while back, and I have to wonder if that’s the reason she came out of her protection.Shit went down, after she went missing, but I didn’t take a great deal of notice.I was too fucking heartbroken, but now I think about it, her father got put away and shit was bad, real bad.Her mother was killed in an “accident” not long before Harper went missing.
Was that the reason she agreed to do whatever it is she agreed to?
Whatever went down, she’s back now and in returning, has upended my life.Know she didn’t mean to, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s here, bringing up feelings I thought were long buried.
Pulling the bike to a stop at the beach, I kick the stand down as Harper climbs off.She takes her helmet and places it on the seat before stretching her arms out wide and spinning around, breathing in the ocean air.Her blond hair whips in the wind, and fuck if I can deny the woman isn’t beautiful.She’s pure perfection, and once, she was the only thing I could ever see.
I never thought I’d love another woman as much as I loved her, not until Janine.
“Gosh, I have missed the ocean,” she cries, jumping up and down.“Come on, I want to swim!”
I watch as she runs toward the water, throwing her bag down and ripping off her dress to reveal a tiny bikini.She dives into the water without a second thought, and I can’t stop the smile on my face as I watch her.Harper was always a free spirit, wild and without a single care in the world.She takes risks and she lives life on the edge, that’s one of the things I liked most about her.
“Come on!”she yells from the water.“Get your lily-white ass in here.”
I chuckle.
Always teasing.
Walking down onto the sand, I take my shirt off and toss it by her bag before walking toward the water.I notice her eyes on me, raking over my body as she takes in all the new ink.She’s never seen me with tattoos, and now I’m covered in them.By the time I dive in the water and rise up in front of her, she’s looking at me with an expression that worries me.
Because it’s filled with lust.
“You’re a man now,” she murmurs, licking her lower lip as she meets my gaze.“All those tattoos, and muscles ...”
“People grow up, it’s part of life,” I tease, lightly.
“I know, but I thought you were hot when I married you.Now, well ...you’re doing things to me.”
Her voice is low, husky, and fuck if I can’t help the reaction my body has.As she moves closer, I know she’s going to kiss me, and I know I should stop it, but something holds me in place.When her arms wrap around my neck and she presses her body to mine, I growl with a blend of frustration and want.Her lips close over mine, and she tastes exactly as I remember.
Flashes of memories fill my mind as her tongue dances with mine.She’s kissing me deep, hard, and just the way I wanted her to do for so fucking long.I would have done anything for this moment.Anything in the world.But as her legs go around my waist and she rubs that sweet pussy against my dick, I know I have to push her away.I know I do, because the only thing I feel right now is guilt.
“Harper,” I growl, pushing her back.“You know you mean somethin’ to me, and part of me would love to keep goin’, but I’m married, and I’m no cheater.”
Her cheeks grow pink as she releases me.“I know, but I thought you two weren’t together ...”
“We’re not, because I hurt her and lied to her.She’s broken, and doin’ this will break her more.I’m not a monster.She’s my wife.I need to figure out what I want before I make any moves.”
Glancing away, I can see her face twist in frustration.
I’ve hurt her feelings, I know that, but it was never my intention to do so.
Honesty is the only thing I have left.
