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“So you want me to wait?”
“I want you to let me process this.I want the truth.I need to know what the fuck happened to you.There are a lot of unanswered questions, and it isn’t just as easy as dropping everything and running back into your arms.You gotta understand that.”
She frowns.“I told you, I’m not allowed to discuss what happened yet.”
“Why the fuck not?If you’re out of protection, then you’re safe.If you’re safe, why can’t you tell me?”
She splashes the water with her hand, angrily.“Because, Brian, we need to ensure that I’m not going to run into trouble being back out.It’s a process.”
Turning, I swim toward the shore.
I’m not certain just how much more of this I can take.
I have two women that want something from me, and yet I can’t figure out what the fuck it is I’m doing.
Jerking a towel out of the bag, I sit down on the sand, my hair falling forward as I glare down at my closed fists.
I need a fucking break.
Harper appears beside me a minute later, her voice soft now.“I’m sorry, I know this is hard for you.I’ve disrupted your entire life.If you want, I can go.I don’t want to cause anyone pain.If you want to be with your wife, I’ll have them move me to another town.”
“That’s just the fuckin’ problem, Harper.I don’t want you to go.I don’t want to lose her.I don’t want to lose you.I’m in a situation that I can’t fuckin’ figure out.”
My tone is clipped.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” she whispers.
“Yeah,” I grunt.“I fuckin’ don’t either.”
“I think you need some time.Maybe us doing this is too soon.”
She’s probably right about that.
“Yeah,” I mutter.“Time is good.Need to think.”
“I want to be with you, Brian.You know that.It’ll break my heart to leave, but if you decide you want to be with your wife, I will leave.I’m not a monster.I’m not going to stick around and destroy the happiness you have created for yourself.”
Fuck.
It would be so much easier if she wasn’t so damned good.
I turn, glancing at her.
She rakes her blue eyes over my face.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Just give me time, yeah?”
She nods.“Of course.I’m here, whenever you need.”
That’s the problem.
I know she’s here.
And I don’t know if I want that to change.
