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I turn her face to mine, bringing my lips down on hers.“I’ll always be yours.Nothin’ in this world will ever change that.”
“Do you remember the last time we sat in this same spot?”Harper murmurs, taking the test in her hand and turning toward the bathroom.“You were so happy.”
“Things were different then,” I say, my voice clipped.“You know that.”
“Why do they have to be different now?”
She pauses, staring at me with a hopeful expression.
“You went to Janine, knowing that it would break her.”
Harper shakes her head.“No, I didn’t.I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, it was never meant to be cruel.It just ...It just came out.”
“Yeah, well, now you’ve fuckin’ made things harder for me.Do you understand?”
She bites her lip.“I’m sorry, Brian.I never ...I never meant to do that.”
“I’m not sure I believe that.”
She jerks, shocked.“You think I’d hurt her on purpose to get what I want?”
“The Harper I used to know wouldn’t, but I don’t know you now.So much has changed.”
She takes a step toward me, but I put up my hand.“I haven’t changed, Brian.I’m the same girl you loved, and I always will be.I truly didn’t mean to cause so much pain.”
Yeah.
We’ll see.
“Do the test, Harper.Right now.”
She looks hurt, but nods and turns toward the bathroom.I stand against the wall, arms crossed, knits in my chest.I’m terrified of what that test is going to say, because it feels as though it’s going to force my hand.If she is pregnant, I’m going to have to keep her in my life, even if we’re not together.That will forever tarnish my relationship with Janine.
My relationship.
My heart thuds against my chest.
I fucking miss her, and remembering how hurt she was has my chest clenching.
I hate that I did that to her.
I fucking hate it.
Every single part of me wants to go to her right now, to pull her into my arms and tell her it’ll be okay.
Is that the answer I’ve been looking for?
I don’t fucking know.
I don’t know anything anymore.
It’s all a fucking blur.
Harper comes out of the bathroom, the test in her hand.“You’ll be happy to know it’s negative.I didn’t even need the test to tell me, it looks like my period is starting.”
I exhale with relief, because fuck, that is the last thing I need right now.It’s bad enough I’ve lost my family, due to my own stupid fucking mistakes, I don’t need to add a baby with that woman on top of it.It’s already hard enough being away from Ebony and Max, and knowing I might end up with another child out there I can’t see is not something I want right now.
Or ever, for that matter.
