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10
Lori
Pulling my coat tighter around me, I stare into the headlights of every passing car, enjoying the slight burn it causes. The fake smile I’ve been wearing the entire car ride is nearly frozen to my face at this point, and my neck is starting to get a crick from all the nodding.
“And seeing him with his grandmother was so…” Her words trail off as she makes a swooning sound. “I can’t believe he takes care of her the way he does. He’s so amazing. She didn’t seem to like me very much, though.”
There’s a pause. My cue to speak. “So what?”
It’s not very helpful, but it’s all I’ve got at the moment.
“So what? He loves his grandmother. It’s kind of important that she likes me.”
She pulls into Lizzy’s driveway, then turns the car off before rotating and giving me a pointed stare.
“What?” I clip.
“You know what. It’s Julianna’s birthday. You need to set your hurt feelings aside for tonight. She’s going through a lot right now. Let’s just have fun.”
I groan, rolling my eyes. It stung having to find out from Cat my sister was back in Tennessee. And I acted like a childish baby. But that isn’t what’s bothering me now.
“I’m fine. We had lunch last week and talked,” I say, waving off her concerns.
“Then why all the tension?”
Outside of the fact that Cat spent the entire car ride here talking about Spencer and their wonderful Christmas, both annoying and disgusting me, I’m worried for my sister.
“She’s still hiding something from me, I can feel it. She doesn’t seem right. She’s so jumpy, acting like she wants to crawl out of her own skin.”
“Well, she walked in on her husband screwing someone else in their bed. I’d say she has a right to be a little off.”
“It’s more than that, though. She’s relieved to be done with Christopher, that was obvious when we talked.”
She’s been behaving like someone who’s afraid of something—or someone. I recognize it because it’s the same kind of fear that lives in me every day.
“Maybe she’s hiding something, but you’re going to have to accept that she’ll tell you if or when she’s ready. You, of all people, should understand that. You’re not exactly an open book yourself.”
Cat is right. It’s hypocritical of me to expect my sister to share everything with me when I keep so much of myself hidden from everyone. But harbored secrets weigh heavy on your soul, and I don’t want that for Julianna.
* * *
Julianna’s eyes are distant as she stares at the lit birthday candles on her cake, a fake smile plastered on her face as we all sing happy birthday. She’s gone through all the motions tonight, laughing and joking with all of us, but she’s closed off.
We finish the song, and she blows out the candles. Cat and Lizzy are clapping and cheering for her like she’s turning eight instead of twenty-eight. They’ve both been treating Julianna like she might break at any moment. And it seems like she might, but I’ve been careful not to treat her that way. I know I wouldn’t want that myself.
Lizzy gets up to grab some plates and forks while Cat begins to cut the cake, and I quietly observe as Julianna polishes off her glass of wine before filling it up again.
“So…” Julianna startles, her eyes landing on me, “your new job is going well then?”
Her cheeks flush, her eyes falling back to her glass as she nods. “Yep.”
“That’s very vague. You’re working your dream job and that’s all I get?”
She shrugs, taking another sip of wine before meeting my eyes again. “There isn’t really much to tell yet. I’m still getting the hang of everything. Besides,” her glare moves to Cat and her lips curl into a genuine smile, “I want to hear about Cat’s new beau.”
Cat’s face lights up as Lizzy holds out a plate and places a piece of cake on it. “I agree, let’s talk about Mr. Tall, Handsome, and Wonderful.”
Lizzy hands me the plate as Cat giggles, and I begin shoveling cake into my mouth, hoping to swallow the ugly emotions fighting for freedom.
