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Opening the car door, I slide out of the back seat bringing my guitar case with me. At the same time I slam my door shut, Valentina does as well and waits for me to start walking. I guess she and Rome already worked out who is doing what assignments for today. I’m not surprised she is attaching herself to my side. I’m glad we hired her because she was exactly the friend I needed last night, even if we barely knew each other.
Together, the three of us enter the building, quickly being passed through security and given a map. From the outside, the building had looked pretty rundown, and the inside wasn’t faring much better. The paint was chipping off the cement brick walls, dirt was gathering on the cement walls, and the lights weren’t very bright. The whole area looked like it was cleaned up quickly and haphazardly put together. I had expected the warehouse to be more open, but it wasn’t. There were multiple hallways leading in every direction, some of which looked like they had multiple rooms off of them. A couple of the halls had been blocked off, probably because this space was a lot larger than we truly needed, and they didn’t want people to get lost.
“Oh thank goodness you’re here,” Alexandra calls out as we round the last turn where, according to the map, the recording studio is. “The boys are already in there and ready to go, and there should be a cup of coffee for you.”
“Thanks, Alexandra.” I give her a soft smile as I move past and turn the handle to enter.
With a deep breath, I walk in ready for the insults and comments, but none come my way. The guys don’t even acknowledge me as I enter. Sebastian is sitting at the drums, lightly tapping some beats out along to music that only he can hear in his mind. His green eyes are closed, and his brown hair is a mess with the front hanging slightly down over his left eye. Gunner is sitting on top of a large speaker lightly strumming chords on his bass guitar, his head is hung low as he plucks the strings. The only person who even makes eye contact with me is Creed. He was messing with his mic stand, and our eyes briefly caught before he looked away quickly.
Well, I guess them ignoring me is better than yelling.
With a mental shrug, I move to the side of the room, placing my guitar case on the floor and opening it. I run my hand along the strings out of habit before pulling it out and pulling the shoulder strap over my head. Rising to my feet, I walk slowly to where the guys are standing. Nowhere in sight is the cup of coffee Alexandra mentioned, but that’s fine. Valentina had gotten me a cup before we left this morning.
“Hey guys,” I call out when I come to a stop in front of them. My left hand is grasping the neck of my guitar while my right is holding my pick and resting on top of the strings. As expected, the three of them completely ignore me, going so far as for Gunner and Creed to turn their backs on me and look at Sebastian.
Ouch. That stings.
“Real mature guys,” I growl out, moving closer to them. “We're all here to do a job. Can we just get on with it, please? The sooner this is done the sooner we can all leave.”
I’m torn by my own words, but I’m trying to make the best out of the situation we’ve been thrown into. No one said we all had to be friends again. We just need to play music and catch a killer. Simple.
“Excuse you, little girl,” Creed scowls. “We’re talking here, and you aren’t wanted.”
Rolling my eyes, I take another step closer. I’m not going to let them scare me off, even if I want to tuck my tail and run in the other direction. I have a job to do. “If this is a band meeting, then I should be involved,” I retort holding back the bite in my words. “As of a couple of days ago, I’m officially a member of Damned Embers again. If you want me gone, then let's practice. If you want to deal with the tension between us for longer, then, by all means, carry on with your ‘discussion’.” I use air quotes at the end. Probably shouldn’t have done it, but it’s whatever–too late now. I’m hoping if I take the route that plays off that this situation isn’t affecting me, we can just do our jobs. I can break down and deal with my issues in private.
Sebastian glares at me, Creed tries to take a threatening step in my direction, but Gunner holds him back as he gives me a dark look I can’t decipher. “Well look at that. Miss Too Good For Us, knows how to talk. Where was that voice when you walked out on us?” Gunner's deep voice questions. It feels like he’s staring into my soul, and no matter how I answer, I feel like he is going to see through it.
“We’re not here to talk about the past,” I deflect. “Let’s play some music and show the label we can do this.” Turning around to give them my back, I move to the spot I used to always take on the left and grab the cord to plug my guitar into the speaker. I strum a few chords of one of the most popular songs from the first album and just let the music take hold, playing the whole song by myself. I can hear the guys grumbling behind me, but I ignore them, just letting the music take control of me. I slide from one song to the next, playing through our first album. When I reach the third song, Sebastian begins to add in the drums. By song four Gunner has joined in on the bass, and Creed is slowly adding the vocals. We don’t talk, instead letting the music talk to us and for us.
I’m sure I’ll look back later on my choice to pick our first album to play and wonder why. We wrote it together when we were in high school, still madly in love with one another, thinking the world wouldn’t be able to touch us. I wish I’d known then how wrong we were. I don’t regret those days or my love for the boys. Maybe that’s why I chose to start with the album we wrote for one another. The first song I played was one I had written for them expressing how much I loved them. While it may have been a love song, it was also a rock song. They had me in a chokehold back then, and I would have given everything for them. Five years ago, I did, but it’s not like they would ever know it.
The rest of the day continued just the same. None of us spoke, choosing to just let the music take hold of us. We rotated through the albums and adjusted things here and there where it was needed. By the time we broke for lunch, my soul felt a whole lot lighter. Pieces of my soul began to stitch back together, and I even felt a small smile break across my face listening to the guys joke and laugh as they exited the room leaving me behind.
Chapter Six
It was almost like nothing had changed. Watching Sky get lost in the music was always something of beauty. She would let the melody take hold, and she never once missed a beat or a chord. You could tell when she got into a song because she would start swaying along to the beat and tapping her foot. Her head would do this cute head-bob. It was different from someone completely rocking out. She was different on stage when we performed, these little movements reserved only for in the studio or when we had been practicing in our childhood homes. She never even realized she did them either. Years ago, none of us told her when she would do it, instead enjoying how she acted.
I shouldn’t have been watching her this time. It had caught me off guard, and I’m sure it caught everyone else off guard as well. We hated having her back in our lives, especially in this capacity. When she first began playing the song she wrote for us, my arm slipped from holding Creed back, frozen in place that she would choose that song first. I could feel Creed fuming from beside me. When she slid into the second song, I got lost in watching her; it was like no time had passed as she remembered everything, still a natural on guitar. I was entranced by her, and it took a second to realize when Sebastian joined in, adding the drum beat to her music.
Taking that as my cue, I flipped my bass around and joined in for the next song. I didn’t even have to think about what song she was going to play next. I just knew. We all did. It was the same order we used to practice in, at least for the first album.
What surprised me the most was when Creed joined in. His voice blended perfectly with our instruments, adding that last little piece we needed to completely bring the signs together. Sky added her vocals every once in a while as well. The first time she did it, I missed a chord, completely unprepared. Her voice still sounded angelic, especially when mixed with Creed’s. The two of them always put on the greatest performance. Our lifelong fans were going to go ballistic seeing Sky back. Our newer fans may be slightly confused, but I’m sure they’ll jump on the bandwagon fairly quickly.
The only question left is if the rest of us can move past our issues to make this work.
I’m not sure if it’s possible. Sky leaving sent Creed spiraling down a drug path we didn’t think he’d survive. He’s only been on the recovery path for a year and a half now. His addiction isn’t something that will ever go away completely. He has to choose to beat it every day. Sky’s presence, ironically, may trigger him again, sending him into a state I’m not sure any of us can handle a second time. Sebastian stopped sleeping and turned to alcohol to drown his misery. Me? I chose to fight. Her leaving left me angrier than ever. She was my partner through the darkness. Never did she think my issues were too much. Before she left, I attended a couple of underground fights here and there, and Sky always came with me. She was my cheerleader, standing beside the ring and screaming the loudest. The guys hated us going, especially me bringing her there without anyone else to protect her. What they didn’t realize was that she could fight as well. We didn’t just go for me.
When her depression would take over, and all she wanted was to search for the pain to numb her emotions, I’d take her to fight. She could kick a woman's ass from here and back in two seconds flat. Sebastian and Creed never saw it, not wanting to come and interrupt our time together. They only saw the aftermath when she had a couple of bruises. It wasn’t often, but it did happen. Usually, she would come out on top, though. If anything, I was the one who came back with my bruises regularly. After she left, it got worse. Rarely did I win, instead choosing to just take a beating. I needed the pain just like she did. It took about six months before I realized the high from winning was better than the pain, and I started winning almost every match and found it addictive.
After Creed overdosed, I started backing off the fights, instead focusing on my friend and being there when he needed me. They knew I still needed the fight once in a while, but now if I went, they were nearby and ready to support me in whatever way I needed. That’s what we did for each other. No matter what, we were all here for each other at any point in time.
That’s something I need to remember with Sky back in our lives. The guys and I have had each other’s backs for the past five years. She left us. We can’t rely on her for anything. The best we can do is keep her at arm's length and make the best of the situation.
When we finished running through our songs during practice, it was lunchtime, and I had worked up both a sweat and an appetite. It was weird for things to feel so normal, which immediately meant all of us needed to get far away from the woman who destroyed us. The guys and I all put our instruments down and bailed out of the room quickly, leaving her behind in the blink of an eye. The three of us were silent as we walked out, following the halls until we made it outside.
“Thank fuck that’s over. Fresh air never felt so damn good,” Creed says with a sigh, throwing his head back and taking in a deep breath of air.
“You’re not wrong about that. The label made a horrible decision throwing us into a room with her like that.” Sebastian shakes his head beside us. “Let’s just get some food and maybe take the rest of the day. She can practice all she wants in the studio. We don’t need it.”
