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“You have two choices, Sky,” she said, raising her voice, a hardness in it breaking through that says she means business. “Either you tell me I can come in, and we talk, or I call Knox. I’m pretty sure I know which option is the better of the two.”
Fuck.
“Come in,” I answer, giving up any hope of hiding this now. I’ll get them back for telling her to watch me. I should have known they’d go behind my back on this.
“Oh, Sky,” she mumbles, her words full of sorrow as she bursts into the room and sees me in the shower.
My clothes are soaked, my blue locks hanging around me, clinging to the side of my face and neck. I’m sure black streaks are streaming down my face from my now-running makeup. I look like a mess, and I know it, but I don’t care. I watch her eyes look down to my wrist, right where my fingers are still digging into my own skin, keeping me grounded. Keeping me here in this moment.
“Fuck it,” she mumbles shaking her head. I watch as she tosses her phone on the counter beside mine, taking out the gun from her hip and placing a couple of other items down next to her phone. “Scoot over, I’m coming in,” she demands, opening the shower door.
I don’t even get a second to think about it before my body moves, creating room beside me for her. She doesn’t say another word, just wraps her arms around me tightly and rests her head on top of mine. Her hand comes to rest where my fingers are digging into my wrist and she slowly pries them away from my skin, gripping my hand instead. She’s giving me the support I didn’t even know I needed. Later, I’ll tell her how thankful I am for the moment. For now, I let the tears keep coming until I can’t cry anymore, and then we just sit in silence until the water starts to run cold.
Chapter Five
Getting ready the next morning, I’m grateful that Valentina didn’t try to force me to be someone I’m not during my breakdown. She didn’t force me to talk. She didn’t even force me to eat. The only thing she did make me do was drink water, telling me I needed to stay hydrated. She didn’t ask me any questions, just held me when I cried and let me sulk quietly while lying in bed when I wanted to. Valentina wasn’t a bodyguard for the day; she was just a friend that I desperately needed when the darkness was trying to consume me.
I had known it would be hard to be here. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I just hadn’t expected to have a panic attack on my very first day. I didn’t want to spend all day curled up in bed, barely feeling alive, but my mind and emotions were all over the place. The past kept rearing its ugly head, while the present was fighting to keep me grounded and remind me I’m not the same girl from a couple of years ago. The battle in my mind left me conflicted and defeated. I thought I could handle facing them and just getting the job done because that’s all this was supposed to be–a job.
I chose a different life when I left this one behind for good. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Didn’t I?
“Sky,” Valentina says, knocking softly on the bathroom door, pulling me from my thoughts.
Checking myself in the mirror, I wipe the lone tear that had slipped free off my cheek and make sure my makeup looks okay before I open the door. “Everything okay?” I ask, clearing my throat.
“Of course. You were just in there for a while, and I wanted to make sure you were good. We need to leave in about five minutes. Rome should be here soon as well,” she informed me, her voice coming out on the softer side but at least she doesn’t give me a pitying smile. If she had given me that I probably would have lost it. I don’t like others seeing me at my weakest.
“Perfect, I just need to grab my jacket, and I’ll be ready to go.” I slide past her through the doorway and move to the bed I chose for myself. My suitcase is still lying on top with my clothes spilling out of it. I may have struggled a bit this morning trying to find an outfit that would be just right to wear for our first practice session together. I needed it to be bold, show off my confidence, but also be an armor I could use to keep the guys at bay. It was a tough decision, especially when my wardrobe didn’t consist of clothes that made me feel that way. Over the past year, I chose to go more for comfort with a mix of business-professional thrown in.
Thankfully, I had a few things I could make work. It took me a few minutes of digging to decide on something that would suffice, but I managed to find a red shirt with a black lace overlay that hugged my body so it was comfy to wear but also gave the bold vibe I was after, and a pair of black jeans with pre-ripped holes around the shins and just above the knees. I’m glad I packed my wine-red ankle boots because they were the perfect way to complete the outfit. Shoving the mess I’d made back into my suitcase, I zip it and place it on the luggage valet in the room so the cleaning staff can make the bed when they come in later. My black leather motorcycle jacket is the only thing left on the bed when I’m done. Grabbing it, I throw it on and zip the front up a small amount until it hits just below my breasts. At the same time, a knock sounds on the hotel room door, pulling my attention to it.
I look back to make sure I’ve got everything and that I’m ready before hiding my expression and opening the door. “Perfect timing, Rome,” I answer, stepping back so he can enter if he wants.
“The label got a small studio set up in an abandoned warehouse area for practice. There will be plenty of guards inside and outside the facility,” Rome explains from the doorway. He gives me a once over, adding a slight nod and smile. “Looking good, Sky. You definitely look like a rockstar.”
Rolling my eyes, I laugh at his comment. This isn’t all that different from what they have seen me in before. I just ditched the ripped jeans I’m wearing now for more professional-looking pants. I also left my blue hair down to fall in waves today instead of pulling it back. I’m sure after a while, I’ll end up throwing it up into a bun, but for now, I wanted to leave it natural. My makeup is also a little darker than normal with some added black shimmering eye shadow.
“Are we sure this studio is a good idea? If we wanted to practice off the books, then basically no one should know where we are. Not even the label.”
The fear I’ve felt since the email first came to me, telling me I need to come here, starts rising more. “We have no idea who can and can’t be trusted, so wouldn’t it be safer for no one to know where we are?”
“I wanted to argue the same thing, but for now, we need to play this the labels way while also doing what we came here to do. Maybe this way we can get an idea of who the suspect is faster rather than hiding out and waiting on them to find us.” Rome shrugs, giving me the best answer any of us have. I’m not a fan of this idea, but I guess it isn’t up to us to decide.
“Fine,” I sigh, grabbing my guitar case from the floor beside my bed. It’s been a long time since I’ve touched this thing for a long jam session. Hell, no one has ever seen me play since I walked away five years ago. The case still has all the stickers the guys and I had stuck on it, memories of all the places we had traveled to.
“We will be with you the whole time,” Valentina reassures me, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze. “If you need us, we will be in the other room, always with at least one eye on you. I have no issues stepping in if the boys try something.”
“Sooner or later I’m going to need to handle them myself. I got this today; thank you, though.” Stepping out of my comfort zone, I grasp her hand and give it a tight squeeze before moving through the door. “Let’s get on the road. I don’t want to be late and have them blame me for some stupid reason.”
Rome laughs and leads us down the hall, calling the elevator to us. When we make it to the lobby, the black Escalade we brought with us is waiting out front. Originally, we thought about renting a car, but Knox and the others thought it would be safer if we brought our own because then it would be decked out the way we wanted. I rolled my eyes when they said it, but I didn’t argue either. There wasn’t any point to it, and with the threat we were facing, I at least understood why they wanted it this way.
The ride to the warehouse was made in silence. Both of them took the front seat, leaving me in the back with my thoughts, the very thoughts that were still trying to bring me down. Instead of focusing on them, I keep my mind occupied with what I’m about to do today: play music and songs that I hadn’t touched in years until a couple of days ago to get some practice in. The old songs I was able to play from memory. It was like I’d never forgotten them. That pain hit me hard the first day. I was hoping there would be some learning curve, but when you happened to have helped write the first three albums, it tends to be embedded in your memories. The new music took me some practice to learn. For the most part, I can do all of them, but there are still a couple of songs that trip me up. I’m sure once the guys learn that, those are the songs they are going to want to perform.
As we pull up to the warehouse, Rome pulls my attention back to him. “Don’t forget, we will be right in the other room. If anything feels off, I want you to get us immediately,” Rome commands as he turns to stare me down.
“I know, Rome. Thank you,” I say with a sigh, shaking my head. “Let’s just get in there and get this over with.”
